


Danger Zone

by MentalMay



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Air Force, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Army, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pilots, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Flying, Flying Jets, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Military Uniforms, Multi, Top Gun - Freeform, Uniforms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8483155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MentalMay/pseuds/MentalMay
Summary: Clarke Griffin, alongside nine other pilots got a chance to participate in a Naval Strike and Air Warfare Center program that produced some of the best pilots their country ever had.Top Gun.
But, their experience is going to get much more interesting and exciting when they meet three instructors, Captains Woods, Forrest and Duke that are going to mold them into fittest and fastest pilots they could be.
Or
Clarke gets into the Top Gun program and finds out that her instructor is sexiest, most beautiful person that she ever saw, Captain Lexa Woods





	1. Step right up

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me literally at 3 a.m. and I just had to write it. And I will write it, for myself at least, you just let me know if you are interested in reading it yourself. See ya on the other side. Hope you enjoy ;)

Clarke was sweating. Hard. She could feel her white t shirt sticking to her back, her hair weltering under her cap, and her feet swelling in her boots. It was beginning of July, and she knew that it’s going to get much hotter than this. But, can it get any hotter? If it can, she was sure all of them is going to melt into a puddle that will soon evaporate into thin air. Her head slightly rocked back and forth, left and right, her eyes started shutting down. She wasn’t tired, but this heat drained last ounce of life out of her. Since they landed on Reno-Tahoe airport and got into this mini bus that was provided for them, she couldn’t stop thinking about the next month and a half. Her dream is becoming true. She is going to do what she wished for almost twelve years. With her best friends by her side. She felt lucky, she felt like she played her cards just right, and she won in this game. Clarke took of her aviators and looked around the bus. Scattered all over were her friends, piers, comrades, her family. She would give her life for them. Well, not all of them.

Finn Collins, her ex – whatever sat two rows in front of her, chewing on his gum. He always chewed on that damn gum, and she hoped, really hoped, that this place will be much more strict with his unprofessional behavior. Also, she hoped that he will be forced to trim that hair that was longer than any other military man should and would have. She hoped for lots of things. But at this moment, she hoped that some divine intervention was going to fix the AC in this god forsaken bus. Her best friend, sister she would say, had her head almost out of the window, trying to cool herself of somehow. Clarke smiled, cause she looked like a puppy. And she really was one. 

Girl that sat behind, with her legs propped up on the seat next to Clarke tried to cool herself of with some newspaper that she picked up on the airport. She waived it haphazardly, but beads of sweat were still visible on her forehead. She huffed from time to time, just for a good measurement, but at this point each and every one of them tried to move as little as possible, because breathing itself was a monstrous task in this condition. She would also blabber something in Spanish under her breath, probably cursing everything and everyone.

“Octavia, babe, you are going to fry that brain of yours if you don’t get your head back in this oven.” girl behind Clarke shouted over loud engine of this death can they were trapped in.

‘Bite me Reyes.” smaller girl snapped back. Raven mockingly clutched her hart in distress. 

“You know I will always take you up on that offer.” she smiled and winked Octavia playfully.

“Reyes!!! Please, none of that talk around me.” dark haired guy from the back of the bus shouted. He was lying down, or at least tried to, on two seats, his legs dangling above heated floor of the bus. He got up just so he could look brunette in the eye. “I really don’t want to listen about my sister’s ass being bitten.” he made a disgusted face.

“Oh fuck off Bellamy.” Octavia flipped her brother.

Clarke just laughed quietly. Blake banters always gave her life, even in this circumstances. Her eyes roamed around the bus. In two front seats she saw inseparable duo that somehow managed to get on this program together. Monty Green and his side kick Jasper Jordan. They were all over the place when she first met them, always ready to do something stupid and reckless. She still couldn’t quite get how they got into the military, let alone U.S. Air Force. She knew that Monty Green was some kind of a tech genius, and that Jasper wasn’t far behind him, but still… Military is open for everybody these days. If was up to her, she wouldn’t let either one of them near any kind of aircraft. 

Girl opposite her was always the quiet one. But always ready and she did every task she was given to the best of her abilities. She knew that the girl was good at what was she doing, always focused and concentrated, she never made a mistake. Harper McIntyre was someone Clarke would gladly pick for a partner, because she knew that Harper would have her back.

Guy on the far end of the bus was also quiet, but in much disconcerting way. He played with his Rubik cube, his cap pulled down so low, she wasn’t sure he could see what was he doing. He always had this sneaky, almost cunning and shrewd look in his eyes. He was giving her this leery feeling every time she spoke to him. She knew him the least, spending only two months in the same base back in Washington DC. John Murphy was the guy who could make this whole experience go to shit. She sure hopped that wouldn’t be the case.

Dark skinned guy popped his head in front of her, smiling wildly, like this heat they were somehow surviving got to him.

“Wells…you are scaring me.” she quipped but still smiled to her friend.

“I just can’t believe this. We are here. Together.” he widened his eyes and motioned across the bus.

“Well, you said you would go with me to hell and back.” she took off her cap and started fanning herself, but only managed to swirl hot air with even hotter air. “ I’m pretty sure we are there now.”

She looked around. Nothing but a dessert looking landscape. In the distance she could see air turning into liquid, dancing on the heat, Sun relentlessly shinning upon them. Clarke looked at her watch that was on her left wrist, and caressed it with her right hand. She wished she could share this adventure with her father. He was always the one who pushed her to be better, work harder, think faster. He wanted her to succeed in this field, on her own, knowing that his family name will be just another obstacle his daughter would have to hurdle. She thought that this would be totally different kind of experience if her father was alive. He would be waiting for her on the end of this bus ride. But, this was her life now. He was just in her memory, his watch only material thing that she could bring with her, everywhere she went. Her eyes landed on the scenery that was on her side of the bus. Large hangars with white roofs, flags that stood on high poles, long buildings and miles, it seemed, of runways decked with various aircrafts. She saw the control tower, that iconic control tower that drew the biggest smile on her face. Screaming from the front of the bus brought her back. Monty had his face stapled on the window and Jasper was crouching over him screaming.

“We are here!!!” Look at it!” he was in a state of slight shock and awe. But who could blame him? Everybody got on Clarkes side of the bus, trying to take a better look of the facility that was just minutes away from them. Gasps could be heard, slight chuckle, but overall, heat was forgotten, adrenaline pumping through them took over.  
Bus came to a screeching halt and front door opened. With a loud thud, Octavia jumped first, raising her fists in the air, screaming from the top of her lungs.

 

“We are here bitches!!!!” she had a shit eating grin on her face, but that was whipped out by a hard push she received from her brother.

“Move Octavia.” he nudged her again and stepped out of the bus. After him all of the others stepped out, grinning like children. Clarke came out last. When she stepped out, bus door closed and death trap moved on, leaving them here where they will strive or flop. She put her duffel bag on the dusty ground, cradling her watch on the left arm.

“Welcome back dad.” she whispered.

A tall, slender figure clad in U.S. Air force uniform approached them, clutching a clipboard in her right hand. She had a friendly face, smiling to them. When she was close enough she stopped and saluted them with a swift motion. Her tag read Vie, and her ranking was Master Sergeant. They saluted back, positioning themselves into a straight row, rigid spines, looking forward.

“At ease” MSgt Vie said, and a loud thump of boots that moved in unison could be heard. She stood in front of the row, gauging each and every one of them. She took her clipboard, flipped a page and looked back at them.

“I am Master Sergeant Maya Vie. I will read your ranks and names, checking if everyone is here.” she bit her lip, trying to stifle a laugh. They looked so lost and so pumped up at the same time. “When I said at ease, I meant it. You can stand whichever way you want.” She smiled again when they all looked at her like she had two heads.  
“It’s too hot today for me to be the bad, shouty one.” they all smirked or smiled, but none of them moved. “All right, suit yourself.”

“Airman First Class Finn Collins” she called.

“Here” Finn shouted back, still chewing his gum.

“I strongly suggest you lose the gum Collins. Others are not as tolerant as I am.”

“Yes ma’am.” he spat out the gum into his hand, wrapped it and shoved it into his pocket.

“Senior Airman John Murphy.” 

“Here.” John saluted again, and Maya checked the box next to his name.

“Senior Airman Harper McIntyre.” 

“Here.” Harper shouted.

“Technical Sergeant Monty Green”

“Here ma’am.” he smiled.

“Technical Sergeant Jasper Jones”

“At your service ma’am.” he had a sly smile on his face.

“Jones, take it easy.” she reprimanded him, but still smiled back.

“Master Sergeant Bellamy Blake.”

“Here” he gruffed, puffing his chest. Octavia just rolled her eyes.

“Master Sergeant Octavia Blake.”

“Here.” 

“Lieutenant Raven Reyes.”

“Ma’am” Raven nodded.

“Lieutenant Wells Jaha.”

“Here” she checked the box next to his name. The last name on the list made her look up again.

“Lieu…Lieutenant Clarke Griffin.” she looked at the blonde. They were so similar, it was eerie to look into her blue eyes, just like he had. Clarke sensed what Maya was thinking. She just nodded. After checking the last box, she tucked her pen into her pocket, clutched her clipboard to her chest.

“All right. Follow me now, I will show you where your rooms are.” She turned around and started walking. Everybody took their bags and followed her. They walked around long brown stone building, stopping at the entrance.

“Listen up. You are already paired.” grunts and puffs could be heard from the group. 

“Oh, don’t be such babies.” Maya rolled her eyes. “This is women’s dorm. I will read the pair, number of your room, and I will give you two keys.”

“Where is man’s dorm?” Finn asked, tipping his cap sideways, scratching his head.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Maya quipped. “McIntyre, Reyes, room 23. Second floor.” she gave the keys to Harper.  
“Griffin, Blake, room 25, second floor.” Octavia grabbed the keys, giving one to Clarke.

“All right ladies. You have some time to rest. You briefing starts at 1400hrs, in the hangar labeled 8. It’s the smallest one, at the end of the runway.” girls just nodded. “ I strongly suggest to take a shower, and try to rest for a minute. This is going to be a long day for each of you. “ Octavia tried to wipe sweat of her forehead, Raven was fidgeting with the strap of her bag, and Clarke and Harper looked like they were going to pass out any moment now.

“You are dismissed.” Maya told them and saluted quickly. “Now for the fun part.” she motioned with her hand for the rest of the group to follow her.

All of the guys waived to the girls, and Finn winked to Clarke who just saluted him with a flipped finger instead of a straight palm.

 

They entered the dorm and young guy stepped out of his make shift desk that had a large book on it and a lap top. He saluted them swiftly, standing as rigid as he could, like he was welcoming a president. All of the girls just looked each other, and saluted him back, but in much more relaxed manner. 

“At ease….Petty Officer Adams” Clarke squinted her eyes trying to read boys rank and last name. He was just a boy, she would have sworn that he could be sixteen, but that was impossible. His blond hair was taped to the sides, sweat doing its job, and he looked like the uniform was to heavy and starchy on him. He stood there with his hands clasped around his back, looking straight forward, not saying a word. They still just looked around, trying to figure out what was his purpose here, and why on earth is still this hot. These buildings should have AC. At that moment Maya walked in and halted when she saw five people just standing in silence, not knowing what to do. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Aden, will you please snap back and show the officers where their rooms are?” she inquired. 

“Yes ma’am.” He almost shouted. “Please, follow me.” he had a good speed in his legs, and worn out girls really couldn’t even try to keep up with him.

“Hey kid, slow down for fucks sakes.” Raven shouted at him and he slowed down not turning around. They climbed one set of stairs and turned to the left. He stopped in front of room 23.

“This is your room Lt. Reyes and SrA. McIntyre.” He opened their door, and let them come in. “You will see that your luggage already arrived this morning.” And indeed, their suitcases were neatly laid down by the beds. Octavia popped her head into the room.

“Nice…our luggage was far more important.” she tsked.

“Lt. Griffin, MSgt. Blake, your room is next to theirs.” He opened the door to their room as well. Octavia just went straight in and plopped on the first bed that was closest to the door. With her face stuffed into the pillow she groaned.

“Why is it so hot in here??” it came out muffled and Clarke chuckled when she saw sheer panic on boys face.

“Does the dorms have an AC?” she asked him, and he relaxed for a second. 

“Yes. But, today they are working on a maintenance, so…” he never finished his sentence and just shrugged. Clarke was somewhat relived to know that this hell won’t be a continuous state they would live in.

“Thank you Adams.” She patted him on the back and felt his spine getting rigid again. She smiled.

“Relax kid. You are dismissed.” she let him go.

Clarke looked around the room. It was relatively spacious for a military dorm, but then again they weren’t in any base or dorm. Room had two beds, two desks, one rather big closet, shelves above the bed, and on the wall that was facing the beds were another door that led to private bathroom. She went in and looked around. Standard shower, white towels, sink, toilet, and a mirror with little cabinet behind it. Everything was pristine, clean, but monotone. That’s military for ya. She went back into the room and Octavia didn’t move. If she couldn’t see her body slightly rising and falling when breathing she would have sworn she suffocated.

“I guess that’s your bed.” She said and sat down on her own one. Mattress was hard, white sheets ironed and starched to the oblivion. It was like she sat on the bed that was covered in hay. Her bed was near the windows. She propped herself enough to see what is going to be her morning view every morning for the next month and a half. She rolled her eyes. Nothing but the dessert. What she expected? She opened her bag and pulled showering kit, new pair of panties and a bra. Everything on her was now soaked in sweat, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She striped down, her uniform thrown away haphazardly. She would wear another one for the briefing, this combat one was her least favorite. She took out her other uniform, blue button up shirt that somehow still looked freshly ironed. Blue fitted pants and her black oxford shoes. Dress to impress. She would be lying if she didn’t like to flaunter around from time to time in her uniform back in Washington DC. She got a lot of numbers and dates that way. But here, she will show off to no one. Maybe she will find someone cute and interesting enough on the base. Flirting was still aloud.  
Octavia turned her head around, whistling loudly when she saw Clarke just in her undies and a bra.

‘Oh shut up.” Clarke commented. “I’m gonna hit the shower, I need to wash off this grime and sweat, just to put another layer on when we go out again.”

“Yeah girl, you do your thing. I’m just gonna take a nap .” she closed her eyes.

“I will wake you up when I come out. You have to shower too.” Clarke quipped.

“No, I’m fine…” Octavia mumbled. 

“No, you are not. You reek.” Clarke chuckled.

“Rude…” Octavia was already in her REM stage. Clarke shook her head and went into the shower.

She washed her hair and body with almost cold water, hoping that would be enough to cool her down, but as soon she shut the stream down, heat hit her again.  
“God fucking damn it.” she jerked the shower curtain to the side, grabbing one of the towels, rinsing her hair. When she was done, towel around her body, she could feel she was all sweaty again.  
“FUCK.” she shouted exasperated. 

“Is everything ok?’ Octavia shouted back. Clarke opened the door abruptly, stepping into the room. Octavia got up in the meantime. This girl could survive only on half hour naps.

“There is no point.” she motioned to her body. “I’m already sweating.”

Octavia just nodded. She got out of her uniform, sitting on the bed only in her white t shirt and black underwear.

“Get in.” Clarke pointed to the bathroom.

“But, what’s the poi…”

“GET in.” Clarke was much more stern. 

“Fiiinee…” Octavia got up, took her kit and went into the bathroom. Clarke looked at her phone. There was still 45minutes until the beefing, just enough time to get herself ready. She put on her bra and underwear, her hair almost dry. She scooped it up and put it into a ponytail, that way her hair wouldn’t create one extra layer of heat on her neck. She will put the rest of her clothes on the very last minute, otherwise, everything will just stick to her by the time they would have to leave. At that moment Raven burst in, wearing also just her t shirt and underwear.

“Well, that was waste of water, let me tell you.” she plopped herself next to Clarke who was still looking at the door with a tilted head.

“Raven…could you at least knock next time?”

“Oh please, you don’t have anything that I haven’t seen already.” Raven shrugged it off. Octavia came out of the bathroom with her towel around her body. She looked at Raven and then opened door. She slammed them shut, turning around with her hands raised.

“What the fuck Reyes?”

“Jesus, what is wrong with you two? All of a sudden so prude. I’ve seen you two naked more times I can count, and this is women’s dorm. Whoever sees you, there is a pretty good chance they have same body parts as you.”

“Not the point…” Clarke whispered.

“Ugh, fine, whatever.” Raven got up. “Harps and I will be ready in 15, if you want to come with us, you are more than welcomed.” She passed Octavia and opened the door. “By the way, ten out of ten Octavia.” She looked Octavia from head to toe, checking her out. 

“I know idiot, get out.” She pushed Raven out. “ See ya in 15.”

 

They were all in hangar 8. All of them freshen up, looking much more human like after a good shower. Heat wasn’t as striking as it was in their dorms, but they could still use some AC. Hangar was small, barely big to fit one fighter jet. In the middle of it were ten chairs with ten small desks in front of them, in two rows. In front of those rows, big desk stood, three chairs behind it. On the wall where the doors were, big, enormous flag was draping almost from the ceiling to the floor. They came in from the runway, big doors opened and they could see jets lined up in front of the hangar. All of them clad in service uniforms, with their hats on, aviators shielding their eyes. Looking smug and proud at the same time.

 

“Look at them.” 

“It’s always the same, you know that.”

“Oh, I already set my eyes on that hippy one.”

“Ladies, do you really have to do this every time?

“Yes.” Two female voices said in unison.

“So, what do you pick? ‘The speech’ or first flight?” gentle voice asked.

“Fuck…I don’t know….I would like to peal their faces off with my speech, but I would also like to take that one miserable motherfucker for a spin…” another voice responded.

“You know the rules. You have to choose now.” 

“Ok, fine…I’ll take the speech. And hope that nobody will say it.” Other voice laughed. 

“You know somebody will say it.” light male chuckle came from the back. 

“Yeah, I know…but still, girl can hope.”

“Fine, it’s settled then.”

“Can we go in now?” male voice questioned again.

“Fuck yes….Welcome them to the hell.”

 

With that door opened and three figures strode in, with hard and determined steps. Everybody turned around and upon seeing newcomers, everybody turned towards the big desk, saluting. All three of them wore combat uniform, different shades of blue creating camouflage pattern. Passing all of them through the middle of those two rows, nobody could turn around to see their faces. First one that stepped behind the desk was tall, slender figured women with dirty blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun. Her cheekbones could cut through all of them, killing them on the spot. After her, male officer took his place behind the desk, shaved head with one strip of very short hair, almost undetectable that came from his forehead down to the base of his neck. His face freshly shaved, his muscles almost ripping his uniform. Third person that stepped behind the desk was even taller than the first women. Her long brown hair was braided into a single braid, head held high, rigid spine, her frame muscled in all of the right places. Her uniform was pressed and fitted, everybody could see that, her boots clean, almost shining. She wore semi round shaped sun glasses, already not being the stereotype that almost everybody in the room portrayed. The three of them saluted them back, and all of them sat down in their respective chairs. In first two chairs Octavia and Raven sat, Clarke behind Octavia, Harper behind Raven, and all of the guys tried to take their seats as far as they could from the big desk. At this moment, almost every guy regret it. Jasper had wide eyes, his face just seconds away from splitting into a cheshire grin. Bellamy behind him tried to puff his chest as much as possible, trying to make himself more visible. Finn that sat behind Monty, tried to adjust his hair to look as sexy as it could be. Wells that sat all the way in the back just had awe written all over his face. Murphy was uninterested, it seemed so. But, Clarke, Raven and Octavia… Totally different story. Octavia basically forgot how to breathe, still to exhale the breath she took when she first saw the three of them. Raven wanted to snap her head back towards Clarke, but at the same time her eyes was glued to the first officer that came into their view. Eyes comically wide, she just sat in her chair, not being able to move. Clark’s eyes roamed over first two figures, but when her gaze landed on the third she gasped. All of the sudden, she wasn’t feeling the heat, her skin was filled with goose bumps. She was aware that she looked at most beautiful person she ever saw in her life. She was epitome of god’s creation, her long neck sculpted by finest artists, and her lips looked like they could be poisonous. Cheekbones high but subtle, small nose, face that should be on every magazine cover, not here. In the desert. On the base. Flying planes. Clarke felt again this surge of coldness take over her body. She is a pilot. Then Clarke saw her long fingers and she shut her eyes hard. She really needed to take her head out of a gutter right now.

 

“I am Captain Anya Forrest.” She motioned to the person next to her. “This is Captain Lincoln Duke.” he nodded to them. “And this is Captain Lexa Woods.” she pointed towards the girl at the far end of the table. Lexa took of her glasses and looked at all off them. Clarke felt like every muscle in her body clenched when Lexa’s eyes found hers. Green orbs sucked her in and Clarke couldn’t fight it. She could have sworn that Lexa looked at her a moment longer than any other of her peers, but she could be projecting right now. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Naval Strike and Air Warfare Center in Fallon, Nevada. Welcome to Top Gun.” everybody took a sharp breath. This was real. They made it.

“This will be your home for the next month and a half. You will sleep, eat, breathe, shit, learn, and maybe fly during your staying here.” She rounded the table and stood in front of it, clasping her hands behind her back. Lincoln and Lexa sat back in their chairs, smirking. Show is about to begin.

“You are ten chosen ones that were sent here to be molded into the best pilots that this country can produce, and trust me, we will make you the best. For the next six weeks you will go through something only few of your peers had a pleasure to go through.” she smirked ominously.

“You will go through series of tests that will put your physical, mental, intellectual, emotional capabilities to the limit. We will push you to be better, to do harder, faster and much more smarter than any other fighter pilot in the world. “

“You are the youngest group that ever stepped into this program, with the average age of just 28. So congratulations are in order.” almost everybody smiled to that.

“Get those smug smiles of your fucking faces. You are bunch of overachiever babies, and I promise you, at the end of this road, not all of you will be sitting here.”

“The three of us will be your instructors, and we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t the best. So try to listen and remember as much as you can. I hate to repeat myself.”

“Every day you will have classes, tests, assignments. Weekends are off.” All of the guys hollered, while girls just smiled.

“Your rooms have Wi-Fi, and your dorms have play rooms, TV rooms, and inside pools.”

“But no AC.” voice from the back quipped. 

“AC is also included in this little arrangement. Today is unfortunate event for all of us, trust me, I don’t feel good at this heat either.”

“Here, it looks like you really want to take good care of us. Internet, TV, weekends…” Finn spoke up. Anya clasped her hands in front of her chest.

“It seems like it Collins.” she answered, surprising everybody how she knew his name.

“But still, we came here flying coach, and then being trapped in a death can. “ he motioned with his hands like he was weighing.

“Well, excuse me Collins, Air Force One was already taken, and all of our limos were in the car wash.” laughter spread around the bunch of now relaxed pilots.

“Now, let me tell you something. All of you look like Top Gun movie spat you out. You are not the first bunch of idiots, and I know you won’t be the last that looks like this.” everybody just looked among themselves. Lexa and Lincoln shook their head, and tried to stifle a laugh.

“Now, if any one of you morons, in any given moment try to quote some shit from that god forsaken movie, I swear to you, you will pay for it.” they all nodded.  
“Now, is there any questions?” Octavia raised her hand.

“Blake.”

“When are we going to fly?” she raised her shoulders, anticipating the answer. 

“During your period of time here, each of you will have eight flights.” everybody shuffled, and turned to one another, shaking their heads.

“And your first flight is scheduled two weeks from today.” Anya delivered the line and prayed to God that no one would say it.

“That’s bullshit.” Finn almost shouted from behind. Anya just slumped her head down, and Lexa got up, with victorious smile splayed across her face. She stood next to Anya and whispered.

“He said it.” 

“Motherfucker said it.” Anya shook her head and raised her hands, like she was giving up. “Every single time.” she turned around the table and sat next to Lincoln who was amused to no end.

“Like Captain Forrest said, I am Captain Woods.” Clarke was listening and looking at Lexa like she was bearer of everything pure and good in this world. “And you Collins, will have the privilege to fly with me today, just because you are so patient and reasonable.” she smiled at him but her eyes spoke about something else.

“Hell yeah…” he said with wide eyed grin.

“And the rest of you will have front row seats for this.” everybody shifted in their seats, slightly disappointed. Clarke looked at Anya and Lincoln who shared knowing look. Something is wrong, she could feel it.

‘Collins, you come with me.” she motioned to him to follow her. They exited the hangar, and the rest of the pilots just looked at Anya and Lincoln.

“The rest of you, follow me.” Lincoln called for them, and everybody were on his heels in the matter of seconds. Octavia was first one behind him. Anya disappeared through the door where they emerged earlier. They walked down the runway, that was filled with bustling military man. In the distance they could see and hear two jets getting ready to land. The heat was again unbearable, but now they could see and feel the action, smell the kerosene in the air, and the heat was quickly forgotten. At the far end they could see something like a two row stand with chairs bolted to it. On the right side was small table.

“Please, take a seat.” Lincoln motioned to them, and they obliged, not knowing what is going on.

“What the fuck is happening?” Raven asked Clarke and Octavia, who just shrugged and sat in the first row, next to the table. Anya emerged from the nearest building, carrying some sort of radio like contraption. Lincoln went to help her with it.

“Guys, I have a bad feeling about this.” Wells quipped. 

“And I can’t wait to see what is going to happen.” Murphy had a sly smile on his face that gave Clarke the creeps. 

Anya and Lincoln put the radio on the table, and waited for Lexa to emerge with Finn. They saw them in the distance, now clad in anti G suits, with helmets under their arms. As they approached, Clarke started to fidget with her uniform. Lexa in flying suit was something. Everything she wore looked fitted, just for her. It hugged her everywhere just as it should, and that green color matched with her eyes. Almost.

“Ok people, wish him luck.” Lincoln told them.

“Why?” Octavia asked him.

“Just do it.” he smiled.

When Lexa and Finn reached them, everyone looked at him like he was the next one to be murdered. And each and every one of them wished him good luck. Even Clarke.

“Sorry guys, you’ll fly in two weeks.” he shrugged them of and Lexa had even bigger smile on her face.

“This is us Collins.” She motioned towards F14, two seater jet, that was already being prepared for the flight. “Come on.”

 

They strode of, towards the jet, and everybody just looked at them. Finn got in first, and sat in the back seat, then Lexa climbed up and took the front seat. They put their helmets on, oxygen masks, put their visors down, and then cockpit was shut down. Jet was slowly aligning with the runway and when Lexa got the green light from the control tower, she took the plain in the air in the matter of seconds. Everybody watched in awe as the plain speed up, towards the sky, almost at 90 degree angle. Anya switched something on the radio and everybody could hear someone breathing. Anya then took something like a speaker and clicked it .

“Heda, do you copy?” Anya asked and everybody turned towards Anya. Clarke smiled at her code name. Heda. She thought it was suitable. 

“Loud and clear.” Lexa’s voice came from the radio.

“ We are ready.” Anya smiled and looked at Lincoln who shook his head, but smiled too.

“We can hear their intercom.” Bellamy spoke. They could see the plain, but it was speck of dust at this point. They listened carefully.

“Collins…Have you ever tried to free fall?” they could hear Lexa.

“All the time.” Finn answered. Crackling of the radio was eerie.

“From 25.000 ft.?” Everybody had their eyes wide, mouths open. 

“Wha…” Finn never finished. They could hear grunting and squealing, then puffing, but nothing else. Anya propped her feet on the table, like this was something they did every day. They could see the jet plummeting on its nose, down to the earth. 

“She has to pull up.” Wells got up and shielded his eyes with his palm, trying to get a better look. “She has to pull up.” He repeated himself in much urgent voice.

“She will…eventually.” Anya smirked. And just like that, Lexa pulled up again abruptly, the plain going up again, engines roaring. 

“What the fuck.” Finn screamed, and they all turned their heads towards the radio. Anya laughed.

“You ok there Collins?” Lexa checked with him.

“I…I need…” all they could hear now was some static noise.

“That’s one Anya.” Lexa sounded amused. 

“ You can’t make him do that again.” Anya dared.

“One way to find out.” Lexa responded. They looked up again and in the distance heard a loud roar.

“She is too close, she can’t do that.” Lincoln commented, and Anya just waived at him.

“When did that stopped her? Anya waited couple of seconds more. “ I think you are clear.” she said into the speaker.

“Almost…” Lexa responded. They could see the jet in the far distance and then a white cloud, in a split second, almost invisible, that created around the jet. They flew past them, a little to the right, getting as far away from control tower. A loud ripple followed them and all of them could fell pressure on their bodies. 

“She went supersonic !” Jasper jumped and put his hands on his head.

“She broke the sound barrier…” Clarke whispered.

“They will hate you for this one.” Lincoln took the speaker from Anya.

“It was worth it.” Lexa responded and chuckled. Raven had the biggest grin on her face, looking at Anya.

“You are gods…” she shook her head in disbelief. “You are fucking Gods.”

“And this is your first day here…” Anya winked at Raven and the girl was lost.

“Collins…how many G’s have you pulled?” Lexa asked, and everybody was looking at the radio waiting for a respond.

“Six.” He answered. Clarke dropped her head down, Octavia started to laugh clutching to Raven who was already wheezing. Even Harper shook her head with a smirk on her face.

“Amateur.” Bellamy quipped. They started to get what this was. This was display of their incompetence. Finn’s especially. 

“Finn…this is going to be painful.” They heard Lexa and looked up seeing the jet taking sharp turn to the left.

“4…5…6…7” they heard Lexa counting and Finn grunting.

“Sto…Stop it now.” Finn tried to order Lexa what to do.

“8…He is out.” Lexa spoke but everybody could hear that her voice was strained.

“Good, now don’t push yourself.” Anya spoke into the speaker, slight worried face showed everybody that this was not a game.

“I’m good….” The jet was now again flying straight forward. “Anya…that’s two.” Lexa’s voice came once again, and they could hear Finn almost…crying in the background.

“Collins…you are back?” Lexa asked him.

“Why…why?’ Finn begged at this point.

“Because you were being cocky motherfucker.” 

“Always the ones with the lowest rank…’ Anya tsked. “They will never learn.”

“Will she land them now?” Wells asked Lincoln.

“Knowing her…not yet.”

“And for the final act…a barrel roll.” Lexa informed Finn. That wouldn’t be as scary before all of this. But after those maneuvers she pulled up in the air, Finn was almost shitting his pants.

“No…No. You are a crazy bitch. For fucks sakes, land this jet.” Finn now shouted and everybody was shocked.

“He doesn’t know we can hear them?” Octavia asked. 

“No… You see, one day we were bored, and we built this little baby.” Anya motioned to the radio. “Only first pilot can hear us, but we can hear their intercom. We built it solely for this purpose.” 

“Gods…” Raven shook her head again. They looked up to the left and saw that Lexa started with her final trick for today. She spun the jet on its back and again on its front, repeating that several times.

“Fuck…fuck…fuck…” Finn repeated and Lexa laughed. She finally leveled the jet, and turned it in a big circle.

“That’s three.” Everyone heard Lexa. “I think we have a record.” Anya laughed.

“It seems we have.” she nodded. “Get your ass back down.”

“Copy that..” she responded. “Hey Collins…You wanna sing Danger Zone with me?”

“Fuck you bitch. Fuck you. ” he shouted at her. Upon hearing that Anya quickly took the speaker.

“ Get on the ground now. Don’t you dare do something stupid. Lexa…Please.”

Only static noise could be heard. No response. Clarke looked at Anya then Lincoln, she searched for something on their faces. Nothing. They just looked at the jet that was in a position either to land or to fly over the runway. The plain started descending slowly, and both Lincoln and Anya exhaled loudly.

“Come on.” Anya motioned for them to follow her. The jet was now safely on the ground, being directed into its spot. When jets engines were of, they could see that the cockpit is getting open, and Lexa emerged from it, taking her helmet of, descending down to the ground. Sweat was pouring all over her face, her eyes looked tired and worn, big bags below them seemed darker then before the flight. She looked drained. But she had a biggest smile on her face.

“How many was that…three?” Anya asked while approaching Lexa.

“Four actually… he started vomiting again when we landed.” Lexa chuckled and looked over Anya’s shoulder, straight into Clarkes eyes that were filled with unexplainable worry. She could see that Clarke tried to quickly roam all over her body with her gaze, looking for something. When she finished she exhaled and smiled. Somehow, everything and everybody disappeared for a second. They shared that second. They knew they shared it.

“And you knocked him down…Savage.” Lincoln patted her on the back.

“Well, when he told me about those G’s, I couldn’t miss my chance. He is such a rookie.” Lexa shrugged. Finn was climbing down the jet, trying to get steadier on his feet when they touched the ground. His hair was a total mess, his face pale like a ghost. He did threw up four times after all.

“How was it?” Anya played it like she didn’t knew a thing about this flight. He looked at Lexa who was now dead serious, her jaw clenched tightly.

“It…It was educational.” he said still looking at Lexa. 

“I’m glad…” Anya looked at the two of them with a raised eyebrow. “Now, I hope you understand why you won’t be flying for the first two weeks.” Everybody just nodded vigorously. They knew that they weren’t ready enough. That those two weeks would build their physical and mental stamina to the necessary point, so they could be able to endure this kind of strain on their body.

“Good…Now, you have the rest of the day off.” Anya informed them.

“Tomorrow, at the same place, o' eight hundred. Do not be late.” Lincoln shouted loud enough so everybody could hear.

“Rest. After today, a real shitstorm will begin.”

“Oh and guys….Tonight is the movie night here at the base. Since it's Monday…” Lexa informed them, and Anya just covered her eyes with her palm.

“What movie is on” Raven asked.

“Captain Forrest’s favorite…” when she saw Anya shaking her head and rolling her eyes she laughed. 

“Well…which one?” Monty asked with a smile.

 

“Top Gun.”


	2. Week One - Know your limits (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is - chapter two :)
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think, I will be more than happy to hear your thoughts on this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, Clexa is rising ;)

Clarke woke up to a blaring sound of her alarm. She quickly slammed her hand atop of it, shutting it down. Red numbers read 5.30 a.m.

“Fuck my life….” she whispered and slowly got up into a sitting position. She closed her eyes feeling that she would be able to fall asleep again just like that, sitting on her bed. She could feel the strong pull that her bed had, even though it seemed just yesterday that it was most uncomfortable bed in the world. This morning, she felt different. She loved that bed like she never loved anybody in her life and being apart from it broke her heart into a million pieces. But, she knew that today was an important day, first day of their training. And although, she would kill for at least one hour of sleep, she felt excited for an upcoming day. Today they should get a clearer picture what would they do in the next few days, what type of activity they will immerse themselves into. She glanced at Octavia who was lying splayed on her bead, thin sheet covering her face. Clarke knew that Octavia was quick in the morning, she didn’t need extra time to get ready so she decided to let black haired girl to sleep a little more. She on the other hand needed her time.  
For example, now. She spent 15 minutes reflecting and sitting on her bed. She rubbed her eyes a little too harshly, hoping that the sleep will be all but gone by the end of it. Clarke tied her hair into a ponytail and got up, reaching for rolling shutters that were all the way down. She pulled on the rope trying to get them up as quietly as possible. As she pulled up, daylight started to seep into the room hitting Octavia’s face that was still under the covers. She shuffled slightly and turned her head over, facing the door. But Clarke welcomed the Sun. And she was impressed by the sight. Yesterday, she thought that this view was nothing special, but this morning she changed her mind. Dessert that surrounded them was vast and bare, but it was illuminated by the morning Sun that peered just barely behind far away mountains. It looked magical to Clarke, and she thought how amazing would be if she could see it all from above. Jets had cockpits that allowed you to have almost 360 degree view, and she would love to use that one day just to enjoy morning Sun. Maybe someday.

She shook her head bringing herself back from the reverie, back into the real life and world. She needs to shower if there is any chance for her to do something productive today. Clarke grabbed some stuff from the closet that Octavia and she divided yesterday. Entering the bathroom she took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror. She redid her hair, this time with much more care and effort, scooping all of the loose strands into a tight high pony tail. She took her t shirt that she used for sleeping. It was a scrub, to be exact. Her mother gave it to her couple of years ago, to have something that will give her some kind of security when she feels lonely or sad while she was on the base. She hasn’t spoken with her mother almost two months now. Abigail Griffin was already on the edge when she saw that her only daughter wasn’t joking about her life calling. She lived with the same fear almost 40 years now, and she lived through the most excruciating pain she ever felt, the day when her husband, Clarke’s dad, Major Jake Griffin lost his life. Abby came back mentally, physically and emotionally because of her daughter. Clarke was all that she had now, all that was left from this family she prided herself with. So yes, Abigail Griffin wasn’t happy with Clarke’s decision to become fighter pilot, just as her dad. But she really hoped that Clarke would stay on the base, flying from time to time, just to not get rusty. But then, Clarke called her one morning, delivering the news that hit Abby with such a force that took her breath away. Clarke was called to come and train in Top Gun. The same place that took her husband. Now, it could take her daughter too. Abby strongly disapproved, and this is an understatement. Clarke and her couldn’t communicate anymore, because Abby was adamant. If you go there, don’t call me again.

Clarke exhaled, shaking her head. She really shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. She is here. Top Gun is her reality now. And she was happy about it. If her mother couldn’t see that, well…That’s her loss.  
Clarke hit the shower, rinsing her sleep completely, refreshing her body and mind, making it ready for an upcoming day. She got out, wrapping herself with a towel, and got out of the bathroom reaching Octavia’s bed, jerking her sheets abruptly, exposing other girls eyes to the daylight. Octavia hissed and took her pillow just to slam it atop of her head.

“Get up O…” Clarke called her friend through giggles. “If you don’t get your ass out of the bed now, we will be late.”

“What time is it?” Octavia mumbled from beneath the pillow. 

“It’s almost half past six.” Clarke informed her.

“Late for what Clarke? We are due to show up at eight.” Girl groaned.

“We need to get some breakfast O. Come on, get.” Clarke shook her friend with one hand while she tried to take of the pillow from Octavia’s head with other.  
“I don’t want to eat Clarke…I want to sleep. Sleep is good.” Octavia begged her friend to leave her alone.

“Tell me about it, but we still need to eat something. I don’t know what kind of day this is going to be, and maybe we won’t get a chance to eat again till tonight. Get up!!!”

‘Oh my fucking god, I swear I already regret this shit…” Octavia finally got up, her hair all over the place. “ I’ll be ready in ten. If you are not ready too, I swear to God Clarke, I will ram your ass into this wall.” Octavia motioned to the far wall.

‘I will be ready, don’t worry.” Clarke chuckled, but in the back of her mind she knew that Octavia, in this state, was perfectly capable of smearing her all over that wall. If someone loved to sleep, that was Octavia.

True to her word, Octavia was ready in ten minutes, all washed up, hair pulled up into a French braid, dressed in her uniform.

“ Clarke, if you are not ready, you know what’s coming.”

“I’m ready O, just tying my boots.” Clarke was crouched down, still sitting on her bed.

“Ok…I’ll let that slide.” Octavia reassured the blonde. “I’m going to see if Raven and Harper are ready too.”

“Ok…I’m right behind you” Clarke said waiving with her hand.

Octavia got out of their room and turned to the left, and as soon as she did, she recoiled quickly. Raven was standing in front of their room, resting with her head on the wall. Her forehead was pressed against the wall, while the rest of her body stood still. Her eyes were closed, and Octavia could almost faintly hear a light snoring. She started to laugh loudly, covering her mouth. Raven jerked abruptly, hitting her head in the process. It took her couple of seconds to find her bearings, rubbing her forehead while doing so, looking at Octavia that was almost red from laughing at this point.

“You fell asleep against the wall.” Octavia managed to whisper.

“I did not.” Raven was still out of it, you could tell, and that made Octavia laugh even harder if it was possible. She approached Raven and hugged her tightly. 

“Raven, thank you for this. It made my day.” Octavia said and felt Raven circling her arms around her squeezing slightly.

“And thank you for this, It made my day too.” She whispered into Octavia’s ear smiling smugly when Octavia backed out with a groan.

“I will unleash Bellamy, you know that?” Octavia tried to threaten Raven, but the brunette just snorted.

“Oh please, I ain’t afraid of that puppy that your brother is.” Raven smirked. 

Clarke emerged behind Octavia and at the same time Harper appeared behind Raven, both of them assessing the situation between the two girls. Harper gave the knowing look to Clarke, and Clarke nodded almost invisibly.

“Ok, let’s get our faces stuffed.” she announced and let Harper lead the way out of their dorm. At the exit instead of young Aden, someone else greeted them in much more relaxed manner than that young boy. A girl who had pretty face, but also was young as Aden probably was, just smiled at them and nodded. Clarke took one extra look at her tag, and she found out that the young girl is the same rank as Adams was. Her last name was Cruz. Clarke nodded and smiled back, she liked this girl. She reminded her of Captain Woods somehow. Clarke scrunched up her face immediately at the thought. 

Girls strode down the street that was flanked by dorms and administrative buildings towards the mess room that was visible from where they were right now. Clarke checked her watch and saw that they had almost 45 minutes till the meeting with their instructors. 

“Clarke…Clarke” someone called after her, and when she turned around she saw the rest of their group, all the guys, except for Finn. Wells was one that called after her and reached her first, the rest of the guys greeting them.

“So, how do you feel?” he smiled at her. “We start today, finally.”

“That we do…and to be honest, I’m excited.” she paused and looked at him “And scared shitless at the same time.” He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders.

“It’s going to be ok. I have a feeling.” she rested her head on his shoulder briefly. Wells was one of her oldest friends and she harbored so much love for the guy. He was like a brother that she never had, always looking out for her. She knew she was lucky as fuck that she had so many close friends here with her. So, yeah. Everything will be fine. As long as she is surrounded with them, she will be fine.

They entered the mass that was bustling with hungry military women and men. After they took their trays, standing in line seemed like it’s going to be time consuming. But, surprisingly, the line was moving much faster than they expected. So, after ten minutes they sat at the table, chatting and eating. Clarke drank her coffee that was good. Strong too, but she’ll get used to it. 

“Here’s Finn. He finally got his ass out of bed.” Jasper shook his head and pointed to the guy who was standing in line. Clarke turned her head around and saw him. Finn winked at her, sporting that fucking smirk that Clarke started to hate so much. She turned to the other side, towards the door and she saw two familiar faces entering the mass. Captain Forrest and Woods strode in, talking about something. Anya rolled her eyes at something and Lexa laughed shaking her head. Clarke felt something at the pit of her stomach, but she disregarded the feeling. It was the nerves. Raven grabbed her by the arm and pulled her, whispering to her ear.

“They are here. I didn’t know they eat with mortals.” 

“Apparently they do…Raven, you are squeezing a little too hard.” Clarke smiled and pried her arm out of Ravens grip. 

“Those cheekbones…Girl can cut on those.” Raven commented. 

“Well, you should be careful then.” Clarke looked her and raised her eyebrows like she was telling her to ease up with infatuation. Forrest was higher ranked, more skilled, respected instructor. Their instructor. Clarke really hoped that Raven will have that in mind. She looked again towards Woods and to her surprise brunette was looking back at her. Clarke felt like something cut her in half. There was something about the way Captain Woods looked at her, and since yesterday Clarke always felt something go off in her gut, each time Lexa was paying her any kind of attention. The magic was broken when Finn plumped next to Clarke, throwing his arm around her, trying to kiss her cheek. Clarke almost slapped him trying to stop him.

“What the fuck Finn? What the hell do you think you are doing?” she recoiled from him looking like she was nauseated.

“Oh. Come on princess, do you really have to be like that in the morning?” he smirked again, and she was done with it. She took her tray and stood up.

‘Fuck off. Don’t get near me Finn, and I’m serious. “ she informed him and rounded the table, sitting at the opposite side near Octavia. While she sat down, she saw Lexa looking at her and at the split second Clarke could swear that Lexa was angry about something. Her jaw was clenched, her eyes slightly narrowed. But Captain Woods regrouped herself fast, looking away, continuing her conversation with Anya. Clarke felt like she wanted to apologize for something, but she really couldn’t pinpoint what made Lexa furious it seemed. Maybe Captain Woods wasn’t too supportive of that kind of behavior that Finn showed seconds ago. Maybe she was strict with the rules and she wasn’t having this kind of shit. But she seemed cool yesterday, laid back. Probably because it was their first day. Clarke made a mental note not to piss of the woman even more today.

She finished her breakfast and waited for her friends, glancing from time to time in Lexa’s direction, but now, brunette acted like Clarke didn’t even existed. She was still engaged in conversation that she had with Anya, when another woman approached them. She was beautiful. Women had a brown almost curly hair, tanned skin and beautiful eyes, and her smile was mesmerizing. Clarke saw that Anya and Lexa greeted her warmly, and she sat next to Anya, giving her some papers that Anya inspected immediately. Clarke watched them like a hawk, and Raven picked it up. She leaned over the table.

“Why do they all look like they came out Abercrombie & Fitch commercial? “ Raven whispered again to Clarke. The blonde just shook her head.

“I don’t know. They look like god damn models, and look at them…they are perfect. “ she motioned with her head towards the three women that seat couple of tables to the left.

Clarke tried to look less suspicious, but when new girl put her hand lovingly on Lexas arm, she could feel her eye twitching. Why was Lexa so worked up earlier, when she was almost PDA-ing with this women? Clarke felt anger creeping up, and she stood up abruptly from the table.

“Where are you going? We still have 15 minutes left.” Octavia asked Clarke.

“I’m just going to stretch my legs for a bit. I’ll meet you all over there.” Clarke responded, and Octavia just shrugged. Clarke left the tray where it belonged exiting the mass room, stepping out just to feel slightly flustered. She started walking towards the hangars, wishing to ease her mind little. What she didn’t noticed is that Lexa eyed her all the way up to the point when Clarke got out of the building. 

 

Clarke was taking her time, walking slowly past the hangars, seeing number of man and woman walking, running, talking, repairing, along the way. She could feel that the heat started to get much more palpable, and she hoped that today, AC would be in full functioning state. She hated when she had to sweat and stay that way whole day. She was so into her thoughts that she didn’t hear footsteps behind her, approaching slowly. She felt a hand on her shoulder, a gentle touch, like that person didn’t want to scare her. She turned around and saw her friend.

“Wells…why did you followed me?”

“I could tell something was off.” Wells was now aligned with Clarke, matching her speed. “Was it because of Finn? It was because of him, right? I’ll tell him to ease off. “

“No, it’s not because of him. I forgot about him the minute I removed myself from his personal space.” Clarke waived with her hand dismissively. “ I don’t even know… I just had to get out, get some air….Maybe it’s the nerves.” she tried to calm her friend down. 

“Clarke, you will be great. I know that.” he assured her.

“Thanks Wells…” she smiled to him. By that time they reached Hangar 8 that was open, same chairs and tables like yesterday were in there. They got in, and sat on the big table that was reserved for instructors. 

“I’m just afraid I will disappoint him…” Clarke whispered and dropped her head down.

“Clarke, you know that is not possible. That man was the proudest the moment when you told him about you desires to become military pilot. Everything is just bonus.”

“Yes, but…”

“No.” Wells stopped her. “I’m sure he is up there, urging everybody to look down, and when they do, he would smugly say ‘That’s my daughter.’ “ Wells tried to make his voice deeper, similar to something like Jake had. Clarke chuckled at that. 

“You really have some imagination Wells.”

“Yeah, it’s never boring up here.” he motioned to his head. Clarke stood up and positioned herself in front of Wells.

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have known what to do without you sometimes.” She leaned and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, knowing that Clarke would be just fine. They were interrupted by a slight cough. Clarke pulled from the embrace and turned around just to see Captain Woods standing at the door.

“Motherfucker…” Clarke whispered to herself. That was her luck. Lexa had some radar for her, always appearing when she shouldn’t have. Now she will think that she is some kind of whore, going around the base, hugging every male who is close enough to her. She could see that Lexa had her jaw clenched again, small facial muscles moved, reveling how much Lexa was pissed off. Wells stood up and saluted Lexa, who saluted back as she approached the table. Clarke stood there frozen. When Lexa was close enough, she spoke.

“Griffin, I believe you have your own spot, where to sit.” Lexa walked pass her, around the big table, leaving some pile of papers on it.

“Yes ma’am.” Clarke produced somehow and walked towards her desk. At that moment the rest of her peers appeared, entering the hangar chatting, but quickly stopping upon seeing Lexa. They all saluted her and bid her good morning, and Lexa seemed relaxed again, smiling to them. Clarke wondered if Captain Woods had something against her solely. Anya and Lincoln walked through the door that was on the other side, and Anya shouted, not waiting to approach them fully.

“Sit down. Today is going to be a long day, so brace yourselves.” she sat on the table, while Lincoln sat by Lexa. Everybody looked at Anya.

“Today we start to asses you. By the end of this week we will have full information regarding your physical stamina, mental state, endurance, knowledge. We will know your limits.” Lexa stood up and walked over to Anya. She looked at all of them, but Clarke.

“By the end of this week, some of you will be asked to leave this program.”

Everybody gasped. This was a game changer. 

 

First up was their physical readiness. Ten of them were changed from their uniforms into t shirts and shorts, sneakers and bunch of probes, tubes, electrodes that were attached to them. Clarke was on her sixth mile on a treadmill, and she could feel things were starting to get a bit harder. She was a good runner, after all, pilots had to keep up with their optimal weight, so she did run. But never like this. Whit a pressure of a spot in the program. She glanced over to Octavia. Girl didn’t even break out a droplet of sweat. But she was focused. Octavia was looking at one spot, keeping her paste steady, breathing even. Clarke envied her a little. She turned slightly to her left where Raven was in the same state she was in. She found some kind of solace in that. Clarke looked at her treadmill display and she saw that she reached her seventh mile. She had three more to go. Like they said at the beginning, this wasn’t a race, they had a time frame in which they had to complete their ten mile run, but Clarke knew she could do it much faster. Still, she was scared shitless, and she really didn’t want to come last. So she picked up a speed, feeling her lungs hurting just a little bit. She heard someone behind her approaching, but couldn’t see who it was. Person stood there, Clarke could feel it’s presence, breathing almost into her neck. But she wouldn’t dare turn around, she could lose her footing and speed. So she just kept running, speeding up just a little bit. Then she saw with peripheral vision Captain Woods on her right side. Clarke kept her gaze straight forward.

“You should slow it down a bit…You’ll tire yourself way to quickly like this.” Lexa voice was gentle and almost a whisper, like it was meant to be heard just by Clarke. Clarke took a chance, and looked at Captain Woods that looked at her with utmost concern that shocked and surprised Clarke at the same time. So she just nodded at Lexa and dialed it down a bit, seeing that she was almost at the finish line. Clarke continued to run now thinking about sudden interest in her wellbeing that Lexa displayed. Clarke was sure that Captain Woods had her on a black list since this morning, but here she was showing that she wasn’t opposed to the idea of helping Clarke, even with a friendly advice. But, maybe she was just being good instructor and she saw that Clarke was going to run out of endurance in this rate. She couldn’t set her mind on one thing, so she went back and forth like that for quite some time. Or so she thought. Suddenly she saw those long fingers reaching for her treadmill display, pushing down button that slowed down the speed. She snapped back to reality and looked at Lexa. 

“You are done.” Is all Lexa said to her, and when she looked at the display, she really saw that she was way past ten mile barrier. Clarke got off of her treadmill and looked around. Everybody was still running. She could see her peers getting sweaty, puffing, and she couldn’t comprehend how she finished firs. Captain Woods gave her a bottle of water.

“Thanks…” Clarke took it and opened it eagerly.

“Don’t drink too much. Just couple of sips. Trust me.” Clarke only nodded and proceeded drinking water. She listened to Lexa, although her body was screaming for more. Captain Woods and Forrest were chatting with a doctor that monitored their heart rate, and pointed towards the clipboard that doctor held for them to read from. Lexa looked at Clarke and Clarke was sure that Captain Woods shook her head slightly, and exhaling. She approached Clarke and leaned over to her.

“Follow me.” and Clarke did. They exited the big room and went down the hall, entering smaller room that had some kind of bars. Clarke couldn’t think about why were those bars here. Lexa closed the door behind them, and Clarke turned around.

“Are you some kind of overachiever?” Lexa asked her bluntly.

“Wha…What?”

“I told you to slow down, but you kept running like there was a pot of gold at the end of it.” Lexa extended her arm like she was pointing to that pot. “What is wrong with you? Are you one of those who have to be first and best at everything??”

“No…I’m not. I’m not that competitive.” Clarke answered.

“Well, it seems like you are.” Lexa looked at her with a mixture of worry and annoyance. “Griffin, we are assessing your endurance, not speed.”

“I understand…”

“ No, you don’t. Your heart rate spiked up the moment I told you to slow down.”

“I..”

“And you continued to run almost your fastest. You are a pilot. What, are you going to run up there, around the cockpit??” Lexa circled with her hand and Clarke chuckled, but stopped after she saw that Lexa wasn’t joking. 

“No…I just felt immense pressure.” Clarke shrugged. “After you told us that our spots are not that secure here, I just felt like I have to give it my all. My best.”

“I understand Griffin, but if you continue like this, you will burn yourself down before this week ends.” Lexa opened the door and stepped out, but she turned her head back. “Endurance, not speed. Knowledge, not improvisation.” Clarke nodded, understanding what Captain Woods talked about.

“Griffin, this is a marathon.” Lexa exhaled. “ And don’t worry too much. You’ll do just fine. I believe in you.” with that Lexa was gone, leaving Clarke dumbfounded, again. Clarke wasn’t expecting form Captain Woods these words of empowerment. But she received them anyway. Lexa was starting to become the biggest enigma Clarke ever stumbled upon, and she really hoped that she will stay here long enough to find the answers she needed. The blonde mulled over the words she heard from her instructor, and she promised to herself that she will do better. 

Clarke was about to go out when she heard voices of her peers, coming closer. Octavia opened the door, and raised her brow when she saw that Clarke was already here. 

“Good job out there Clarke…You really are something.” Octavia patted Clarkes back and sat next to her on a chair. “What are these bars for?”

“We are going to do half pull up.” Bellamy responded. “Well ladies, I think it’s safe to say that this is our territory.” he had a smug smile on his face while he motioned towards all the men that were in the room.

“Yeah…I’m not sure about that.” Jasper looked at his arms and shook his head a little.

“Bellamy, will you shut the fuck up, and tone it down with the macho attitude.” Raven deadpanned. 

“I’m just telling the truth.” Bellamy raised his hands. “Don’t get mad.”

Clarke could easily get into a full on fight with Bellamy right now, especially because his trash talk did wonders for Finn’s ego. She could see him growing taller, now that was everything coming down to a raw strength. But she heard Lexa’s voice in her head, and she decided against it. Keep your focus, and concentrate on yourself only. 

Captains Forrest and Woods entered the room, with the same doctor from a previous task behind them. 

“People, this is something that shouldn’t take long. You will do half a pull up.” Anya explained. “That means, you will pull yourself up and stay in that position as long as you can. When you feel that you can’t take it any longer, you can come back to the ground. Understood?” she asked and everybody nodded.  
“Good. Two by two is the system here. First up, Jaha and McIntyre. Let’s go. “ Lexa called up, and motioned them to go to the doctor first that again taped some electrodes onto their body. When he was finished, he gave the thumbs up to Lexa.

“Get ready, and on my mark, pull up.” Wells and Harper took their stands, grabbing the pole that was above their heads.

“Ready?” both of them nodded. “Go.” They both pulled their bodies up, head above the rail, resting their chins on it. No one was measuring the time, and Bellamy was clearly upset about it. Both Wells and Harper kept their breaths even, bodies rigid, legs bended in the knees. They didn’t move. After four minutes, Harper was the first one that came down. Bellamy sported the biggest smile on his face.

“ That’s one for us.” He whispered into Ravens ear and she just rolled her eyes. Unfortunately for him, Lexa heard him. After minute or so, Wells came down too. 

“Good job, both of you.” Lexa smiled at them, and called another pair. “Griffin, Green, you are next.”

Clarke stood up, and patted Monty on his back, and he smiled at her friendly. They were not going to participate in this stupid game Bellamy was playing. After both of them were taped up, they took their positions. 

“Ready?” Lexa asked and she looked at Clarke like she was almost pleading her to be smart about it. They both nodded. “Pull up.” Lexa gave them a green light and at that both Clarke and Monty picked themselves up. Minutes were passing, and Lexa started to shift her weight from one foot to another. After about five minutes, Clarke started mouthing to Monty.

“One, two, three, drop.” and at that both of them hit the ground at the same time. Clarke sported the biggest smile when she saw Bellamy’s face.

“What the hell Monty? You could go longer than that.” he couldn’t believe that Monty gave up like this.

“Sorry, my arms started to hurt.” Monty shrugged and smirked when he saw Anya shaking her head slightly. 

After them Raven was paired with Murphy, Octavia was paired with Finn and literally she kicked his ass, staying up there for so long that Lexa had to order her to get down. 

“Here is the last pair, Jones, Blake. Get up.” She motioned to them to stand and go over to the doctor. Bellamy couldn’t get any smugger even if it was possible. Jasper looked defeated already, but Anya changed his mind and gave him hope.

“Jones, this is you game now. Trust me.” he just nodded, not really knowing what she ment with that. He couldn’t last longer than Bellamy could. Muscles that Bellamy had were superior over his. If he even had any muscles to begin with.

After five minutes, Bellamy was panting, his muscles were screaming, his face was covered in sweat, but he will be damned if he let Jasper beat him at this. On the other side, Jasper was grinning at him. He could go on like this forever. Lexa and Anya had biggest smirks on their faces, while the rest of the group was watching mesmerized. Clarke looked at Lexa and found herself thinking that her smirk was something adorable. She wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of seeing that smirk more often. At that moment Bellamy hit the ground shaking his arms, trying to reestablish the blood flow. Everybody in the room cheered, except Finn. Jasper nailed Bellamy’s ass, and he still didn’t look like he had to give up. But he did. He landed on the ground looking at Anya in full disbelief. 

“You weigh less, ergo, your arms have to hold on a lighter body then his.” She winked at him, and with that, Jasper threw his arms in the air.

“I am Bellamy’s slayer. I’M BLLAYER.” he shouted and laughter rippled throughout the room. Even the doctor chuckled a little.

“ All right, Bllayer and the company. You have a half an hour until the next testing. Refresh yourself. We are meeting at the second floor.” Lexa announced and she and Anya left the room, that was now filled with hollering and shouting. Bellamy couldn’t believe what just happened. This is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Raven, Clarke and Octavia were waiting for Harper to come back with some bottles of water. All three of them were deep into their thoughts, thinking about everything they needed to do and pass in order to stay here and finish this. Harper came back and handed each of them a bottle, and she sat next to Octavia. Neither of them spoke. After some time, Harper broke the ice.

“You wanna go to the city when weekend comes?” she asked, and Raven looked at her like she asked her something on swahili. 

“Harps, I’m not sure all of us is going to be here by the end of the week.” Octavia responded.

“Yes we will. We will go to the town, and we will celebrate.” Clarke concluded and it was her turn to be looked by Raven.

“I’m sorry pumpkin, why are you so damn confident that all of us is going to pass this?” Raven asked.

“I just am. And I know we will. “ Clarke nodded and took a sip of water.

“I don’t know Clarke…I’m getting kind of scared.” Octavia quipped.

Clarke remembered what Lexa told her, and she wanted to share that with her friends, but she didn’t want them to think that Captain Woods favorites her over everyone else. So she tried to get message across without snitching on Lexa.

“ We just have to be smart about it. Do our best, and I guarantee you we will pass.” 

“Easier said than done.” Raven muttered. Clarke new what will get them cheered up.

“Ok bitches, how about this. We all pass, and this weekend…drinks are on me. We will get shitfaced.” she smiled victoriously.

“I’m going to get shitfaced either way, but ok, I’m in.” Octavia joined Clarke. Raven and Harper looked at each other and nodded. 

“Let’s tear this shit apart.” Raven stood up, more vigorously and determined now when she knew what was waiting for her at the end of this. “Let’s go.”

 

They were all waiting for an eye exam. Everybody was nervous, because they knew, they couldn’t improve on this. They could be faster and stronger, but if their eyes are not up to the standards of Top Gun regime, they are screwed. One by one they entered the room where each of them had to read various shit from the wall, and being inspected to the T. After Murphy who was last, they all expectantly waited for Captain Forrest and Captain Woods. They were going to tell them what they will be doing tomorrow, and what next obstacle they needed to hurdle in order to stay here. After some time, both women appeared and everybody stood up. Anya spoke first.

“All right, you are finished for today. I suggest you eat lightly, because tomorrow, you will be tested for a G force endurance.” 

Everybody took a deep breath. This could make or break them. They were aware of it, and now, everything again became much more real than they expected. Lexa saw the change in them, and tried to lighten up the mood.

“And after that, If you do good, I will tell you the story about Captain Forrest and Duke, and how they were on their testing way back then.” she winked for a good measurement, knowing very well what can tomorrow bring.

“No you won’t.” Anya deadpanned shaking her head slightly.

“Oh, yes I will. But first, everybody, you did good today. Take the rest of the day off, walk around the base, get familiar with it.”

“What’s the point, if we fail, we don’t have to know where everything is.” Raven produced.

“With that attitude you won’t.” Anya stepped in front Raven looking her straight in the eyes. “Reyes, you don’t strike me as a quitter. So drop the loser attitude and get your head back in the game.” Raven nodded, finding new strength after being called out.

 

 

Clarke was laying in her bed, thinking about tomorrow, knowing that everything rested on her body now. At this moment, she really missed her dad. She would love if she could call him, ask him what to do, get some advice. Maybe hear some good stories, how he did on his training. She was sure that he would manage to make her laugh, make her believe that she could do this and that everything was going to be ok. But, she couldn’t do that. He was gone and she was left alone in this world that was his. He would have been the best instructor she could have, but all she can do now is to hope that he will somehow help her overcome everything. The fact that she couldn’t call her mother either wasn’t helping. In reality she could, she knew that her mother would offer her kind words no matter what, but she didn’t want to sound week. They stopped talking because of this, Clarke couldn’t call her and tell her that she was afraid and insecure. So she was left alone with her thoughts and light snore that was coming from Octavia. She knew that she should be asleep by now, but her nerves were getting the best of her. She got up, changed her shirt, put some shorts on, tied her hair and got out. Maybe a walk would help to clear her mind. 

She walked quietly, and when she reached entrance she saw Aden sleeping on the desk. His head was propped up by his hand, mouth slightly open. She smiled, and walked by him. She wasn’t going to wake him up, the kid was so intense, he deserved some sleep. She walked out, and was hit by the vastness of the dessert. But what took her breath away were the stars. It seemed like every star in the sky was visible. Millions of shiny spots adored velvety sky that was pitch black. She walked in silence, enjoying light summer breeze. Without any direction she found herself in front of the same bench from where they watched Captain Woods schooling Collins. She sat on it and rested her head on the railing, looking at the sky. She hoped that her father was somewhere up, looking back. She heard hurried steps on her left, but she couldn’t see who it was. She waited a little longer and the silhouette became much more recognizable. Clarke couldn’t believe it. Captain Woods, clad in her tight shorts and washed up t shirt, with headphones on was running towards her, head slightly tilted like she couldn’t believe either who she was seeing. Clarke smiled smallest smile ever, she was suddenly so attracted to her instructor. When Lexa came close enough, she was the first one to say something.

“Griffin, what the hell are you doing here?” she stopped at the base of the bench and looked at Clarke, resting her arms on her hips. “You do know that tomorrow is going to be a bitch.”

“Yes, I know…” Clarke nodded. “But I couldn’t fall asleep. I tried, but nothing. So I decided to get some air.”

“Nerves?” Lexa asked.

“You wouldn’t believe it.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “But Blake seems fine, she started snoring before her head even hit the pillow.” Lexa snorted, and shook her head.

“I belive you, she is very….driven.” Lexa choose her words carefully.

“That she is…And you? Running this late?”

“Yes…It’s quiet and peaceful. May I?” she motioned on the spot near Clarke.

“Of course. “ Clarke scooted over to the left, just for a good measure. Lexa sat next to her and took her headphones out. 

“What are you listening?” Clarke asked.

“Heads will roll.” Lexa answered with a smirk.

“That’s…appropriate.” they both laughed. Silence fell on them, Clarke looking at the sky, and Lexa rested next to her.

“You know, I get it.” Lexa broke the silence. Clarke looked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“The nerves. I almost fainted when I had to do it. I remember the pressure I was feeling then, everything was on the line for me. So I get it.” She looked at Clarke with warmest eyes Clarke ever saw.

“How did you do it?”

“ Like you, I already had some training. But this place is something else. I felt like if I fail, everything was over for me. And doubt is our biggest enemy. So I reached deep down, into every cell of my body, asking myself, am I really cut out for this? Is this really what I want? When I knew that the answer was confirmative, I just believed that everything would be fine, And it was. Look at me now”

“Yes… it’s easy for you to say that Captain Woods.” Clarke tsked.

“No it’s not.” Lexa looked at Clarke again. “ None of this is easy Clarke.” Lexa called her by her first name and Clarke perked up at that. She couldn’t understand why her name sounded different coming from Lexa’s mouth, but she knew she liked it. 

“ You are chosen among hundreds of pilots in the country, so you must be good. You just have to prove it to the others.”

“Others?” Clarke enquired.

“Yes, others. I already know that you are special.” Last few words Lexa almost whispered, but Clarke heard them. Clarke didn’t dare ask what Lexa meant by that. But Lexa read her mind.

“You are predestined to do good here. You are Griffin.” It donned on Clarke what Lexa meant by that. Of course Lexa put two and two together, realizing that Clarke was a daughter of the famous Jake Griffin.

“Yeah, well… I’m not sure about that.” Clarke shrugged. “He was a star. I am just trying not to smear his name here.”

“You will be better. I know it.” Lexa patted her on the back and Clarke felt shivers running down her spine.

“You know lots of things Captain.” Clarke smiled at Lexa.

“I sure hope so, I’m your instructor after all.” Lexa smiled back. “But this…I’d call a intuition.” 

“I hope so too.” Clarke stood up, knowing that she needed to get some sleep before tomorrow, but there is nothing she would like more than to sit here with Lexa, talking. There was something about this girl that calmed Clarke, and she really liked that. Maybe she couldn’t speak with her father, but Lexa succeeded to ease her mind slightly. And inwardly, she was grateful for that.

“I better get back, try to get some sleep.” Clarke said, feeling bad that she had to end this conversation. 

“Yeah…Come on, I’ll walk with you.” Lexa stood up to, and they walked back to the dorm together, not talking. When they reached the dorm entrance Clarke turned towards Lexa.

“Thank you Captain…For today, and for tonight. You are saving my ass repeatedly, and all I can do is to say thank you.” Clarke smiled slightly.

“Don’t mention it.” Lexa waived her hand. “Just remember, you are good enough. You can do this. Just don’t rush it and don’t push it. I believe in you.” And Clarke felt like that was something she needed to hear. That someone believed in her, someone that knew what she has to go through. Clarke nodded, not being able to thank Lexa properly. She would like to be able to hug her tightly, but that was out of question. So she settled for a hand shake. Reaching with her hand, Clarke was sure that Lexa would reach back, but when that didn’t happened immediately she started panicking inwardly, thinking that she crossed the line. Clarke’s smile faltered slightly. Lexa watched her for a couple of seconds, like she was prodding the blonde. When Clarke accepted her destiny and started to retract her hand, Lexa shoot her hand towards Clarke’s reaching it, squeezing it tightly, pulling her slightly towards her. Clarke was afraid what was going to happen, but all she could concentrate now were Lexa’s lips and that small almost invisible spot she had on her upper lip. When those lips started to move, Clarke brought her look up, looking into Lexa’s eyes. 

“Remember…You are special.” Lexa mused and Clarke felt like she was flying without her jet. With that, Lexa let go of Clarke’s hand and stepped back.

“Goodnight Griffin.” she nodded her head adorably, edges of her mouth just barely going upwards.

“Goodnight Captain.” Clarke nodded back and turned around. She felt flustered and uneasy at the same time. She couldn’t understand what was happening to her right now. She entered the dorm abruptly, waking Aden in the process. He leaped up like his ass was on fire, scaring Clarke.

“Jesus kid…” she jumped, putting her hand over her heart. “The hell are you doing, you scared the shit out of me.” Clarke looked at him with raised eyebrows.  
“Lieutenant Griffin, I’m sorry…” he tried to explain himself, thinking that Clarke would rat on him. 

“Ease up Adams, It’s ok.” she smiled. “Go back to sleep, I didn’t see anything.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Aden quickly cleared. 

“Yeah, ok.” Clarke snorted and with that walked past him. She reached her room, opened the door just to be met with now deafening snorting coming from Octavia. She laid back on her bead, looking at the ceiling, feeling much more calm then she felt before her walk and talk with Lexa. She felt her eyes shutting, fatigue taking over. 

“Octavia!!! Roll the fuck over.” She shouted, and Octavia really did roll over, stopping with her snoring. Clarke shut her eyes completely letting sleep taking over. She didn’t think about the tests tomorrow. She knew that everything is going to be fine. Lexa will be there. And that was enough for Clarke.


	3. Week One - Know your limits (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys gave me such a wonderfull feedback, so I decided to upload this chapter earlier :)
> 
> Also, official disclaimer: I do not live in U.S.A, I don't know shit about military there, I'm trying my best to do some research before I write anything, so I know that mistakes are frequent and I deeply apologize for it. I hope you won't hate me if I butchered it so much. And also, English is not my native language. So, I'm really doing my best to write this story as best as I can.
> 
> Again, I'm sorry, and I hope that those of you who know much more about the military than me can and will forgive me :))))
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think ;))

Raven was pacing relentlessly, from left to right, and back, trying to calm her breath and oncoming panic attack. She shook her arms from time to time, like she was trying to shake off all of the fear that she now felt, and it wasn’t working. Clarke sat on her bed, watching Raven in front of her, tracking each one of her steps, finding some weird calming sensation in her friends pacing. She counted them, that was one of Clarke’s old tricks. Whenever she felt nervous or panicky she would start counting. It didn’t matter what, or the final number, she would always forget it the minute she stops, but the process of it made her feel calmer for some reason. If she didn’t find something to count, she would relentlessly tap all of her fingers on each hand with her thumb, going back and forth. But today, Raven was doing pretty good job, giving her material to work with. Harper was sitting next to Clarke’s bed, deeply submerged into some kind of meditation. Her breath was even, body relaxed, and Clarke envied her.  
They all waited for Octavia to come out of the bathroom, and finally head down and get some food before this day turns into a complete nightmare. Clarke started to think about her previous training, and she knew, they all knew how this is going to look like. She already did this, she was tested for a G force endurance, but her gut was tight in a knot today, knowing that their limits are going to be pushed even further. She remembered that she reached 9 G’s once, but only for two seconds. It was something, but not enough. What will be enough, she couldn’t know, but, as always, she will try to do her best. Plus, she really wanted to hear that story Captain Woods promised them to spill out after this. Her mind was suddenly derailed, and she forgot about that heavy rock that was sitting at a pit of her stomach. She replayed her conversation that she had with her instructor yesterday, and she couldn’t help it but wonder, why Lexa acted the way she did. She couldn’t quite understand, comprehend, how could that woman go from 1 to 100 in the matter of a day, three times. It was giving her mild whiplashes, and this is only the beginning of their stay here. Well, she hoped it was the beginning, and not beginning of the end.

Octavia opened the door, drenched in sweat, pale like a ghost, water still dripping from her face. 

“Well, it’s official…I puked and I had diarrhea. My nerves are all undone, and I’m seriously thinking about quitting right now.” she announced, and Harper that was still on the floor opened one eye smirking and shaking her head. 

“Yeah…I’m with you.” Raven nodded looking at Octavia. “ I mean…about all that quitting thing. As for diarrhea and puking….girl, you nasty.”

“What the fuck can I do about it Reyes? My body doesn’t consult me on these kind of things.” Octavia snapped back. Clarke smiled and got up standing between two girls. 

“Ok ladies, calm down. We are all on the edge this morning, which is understandable.” she looked at Raven then Octavia. “But, I know that we need to calm the fuck down, and power it through.” Harper got up, still smirking, like this was all just a game and she wasn’t affected by any of it.

“Come on, let’s get some air, we will feel better after.” She motioned for the rest of them to follow her, and they did.

“Harps, can you please tell me what kind of drugs do you use to stay this calm, and whatever it is…can you hook up a sister?” Raven eyed Harper while they descended down the stairs.

“ No drugs needed. Just look at this like an awesome rollercoaster ride.” Harper laughed.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This is going to be fun, trust me. I’m looking forward to it. Instead of beating myself up, I try to find something positive about this experience.”

“That’s the way Harper.” Clarke cheered behind her.

“See…” Harper turned around and smiled at Clarke. “Just picture this Raven. Finn Collins in a small, tight ass pod, strapped down. Are you with me?” she checked with Raven.

“Yeah…” Raven nodded, not really understanding where Harper was going with this.

“We all know how he fainted the first day right? So, imagine being able to see it. Try not to laugh at that.” Harper concluded and they were at the door now, young girl sitting by the desk again silently greeting them.

“Yeah Harper, that is fucking funny, but what about us?” Raven motion to all of them as they halted at the door.

“As for us…We are fucking bad bitches and we are going to crush their souls today.” with that Harper went out the door putting her glasses on in the process, leaving three girls behind her with mouths open.

“I’m telling you…she is using, but still doesn’t want to share.” Raven whispered, and Octavia and Clarke just looked at each other with biggest smiles on their faces. Harper was a bad ass. And fucking damn it, so are they.

Clarke sipped her coffee, her gaze roaming around the big room filled with people, eating, chatting, laughing, reading something on their phones…Everyone seemed to be doing something, only she waited for Captain Woods. She felt like she needed to see her before today’s testing, only to be calmed down by her presence. Clarke wasn’t planning on talking to her, hell no. Clarke would just look. But their captains were nowhere to be found. All of a sudden Clarke felt panic running through her body, cause what if they won’t be there at all? That would be turn of events for her. She looked at her friends, now seemingly free of any anxiety they felt just moments ago, talking among themselves. Clarke was already finished with her breakfast, if you could call it that. This morning she ate just a toast, taking herself on a safe side. If she is about to pour her guts all over it might as well be just some coffee and bread. They still had an hour before testing started, and she felt like she had to do something, move, walk, breathe, whatever, just not sit here in this crowded room. Raven that sat beside her also seemed like she finished and Clarke nudged her.

“You wanna get some air? I feel like I’m going to suffocate in here…” Raven looked at Clarke and saw that the blonde was paler than usual.

“Yeah, sure…Let’s stretch this hammies.” she got up and swiftly motioned Octavia and Harper that they are going out. Two girls just nodded. 

When they were out, Clarke started breathing easier, her lungs expanded a bit more, and she welcomed fresh air. They started walking slowly towards administrative buildings, talking in their surroundings, occasionally smiling when they saw young navy girls walking past them. As they approached the building where offices of higher in command officers were, Clarke spotted a beautiful woman that was clad in her uniform, ironed to the T, her curly hair falling just below her ears, carrying a briefcase in her right arm, speaking on the phone that was in her left. She was smiling and her smile was something to behold. Women was beautiful, to say at least, and Clarke couldn’t see from this far away what her rank was. She was standing in front of the building, waiting for someone it seemed, and Clarke was wondering who she was. She haven’t seen her on the base, but then again, they were here only three days, and the base wasn’t small. Then her heart stopped. She saw Captain Woods coming out of building, Captain Forrest behind her, with biggest smiles on their faces. Lexa approached the women, saluted her and then threw her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. The woman had shit eating grin on her face, and hugged Lexa back, clasping her arms around Lexa’s neck burying her face into her neck and uniform. They stayed like that for ages, or Clarke thought so. Lexa took woman’s face into her hands and looked at her with utmost adoration, speaking something to her that made the other women slightly embarrassed, because she ducked her head down, like she didn’t want to be seen as her cheeks blushed. Clarke felt somewhere between nauseated and half dead by now. Raven and she stood there, watching everything. After Captain Woods finished with her adoration session, she moved to the side to give some space for Captain Forrest to hug the woman. As she moved, she spotted Clarke and Raven witnessing everything and her smile faltered down in the speed of light. Clarke would have sworn that Lexa made a move, like she wanted to approach them, but she couldn’t be sure cause she turned around abruptly, heading to another direction leaving Raven behind, and girl had to speed up to catch her.

“Who was that? Forrest and Woods seemed like they were bewitched out there…” Raven asked, and Clarke shook her head. 

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. We have more important things to think about.” she quipped and everything in her screamed to turn around, but she was a stubborn ass, and she would be damned if she did. But, if she did turned around, she would have seen Captain Woods still standing in front of the building looking at her, while the woman and Captain Forrest were already in the building.

 

 

Everybody was at a large hangar, standing near the centrifuge machine, where each one of them will be tested today for G force endurance. The thing was huge, it looked like a crane, with weights on one end, and tiny pod at the other. They all stood with their hands clasped behind their backs, listening carefully to what tech specialist Nyko Zeig had to say to them. The man was huge, his uniform was surely ripping somewhere, but he had the sweetest and calmest baritone Clarke ever heard. His eyes sparkled and he had a big smile on his face. 

“All right people, first of all I have to say that this is going to be more fun than you expected. I know you are under a pressure, but when you step into that pod, I want you to forget about anything else, and just concentrate on my voice and what I’m telling you to do. If you can do that, everything is going to be just fine.” 

Clarke could feel the hole that was burning in her head that was made by Captain Woods’s gaze, but she kept her eyes on a gentle giant, trying to focus her attention on a task before them.

“I will inform you what is going to happen before any change in that pod, so I need you to trust me and don’t worry. There is hundred percent chance that someone is going to faint in there, and let me tell you…that shit is funny as hell.” Nyko and Anya chuckled, but Lexa was still dead serious. She gave up looking at Clarke, she got the message. 

“If that happens to you, you will feel tired when you come back, you will feel disoriented and confused. Just listen to my voice and try to do what I tell you to do, and everything should be fine. Don’t get discouraged if that happens to you, that doesn’t mean that you failed, it just gives us right estimate where your body is and we will know can we improve it quickly or not.”

“You will be taped up with some things that I don’t really know what they do, but doc here is an expert, so I trust him he will do a good job. My job on the other hand is to guide you through this thing, and I will do my best.” He motioned to the same doctor that monitored them yesterday. His last name was Jackson, and everybody smiled at him as he waived them.

“So, I think we are good to go.” he looked at Forrest and Woods and they nodded in unison. Jackson also gave him a thumbs up. “While one is in that “ he motioned to the pod “the rest of you will be in the back room, I will take you there in a minute. You will be able to see what we see. Of course, if something serious happens, you will be picture free. But you look like young sturdy bunch.” he smiled. “I’m sure we won’t have any problems today. Let’s go.”

Everybody followed him, but Lexa spoke.

“Bellamy Blake, you are staying. You are up first.” she motioned over to the pod, and he stepped out of the bunch, walking towards Jackson, so he could be taped up with monitors that will read his heart rate.

“Rest of you can go.” she dismissed them.

“Jesus fuck, I’m next.” Octavia whispered getting paler by the second and Raven hugged her.

“You’ll be just fine mamasita. You are a bad bitch.” she squeezed her tightly and walked with her into the room where everybody already sat down, looking at a big screen that was black at the moment.

They sat in silence for couple of minutes, fidgeting in their seats, waiting for the picture to come up on the screen. Clarke sat in the third row, since everybody took the spot in the first one wanting to be closer to the screen. She rested her legs on the chair that was in front of her. She looked at her peers and she saw something she never paid attention to. They are all nervous now. Wells was sitting motionless, eyes plastered on the still black screen. Finn was sitting next to him, bouncing his left leg, wiping his hands on his tights. Murphy was twirling a pencil between his fingers, since Rubik’s cube was too big to bring it along and shove it in one of the pockets of his uniform. Raven had her arm still slung over Octavia’s shoulders while her head was buried in her hands. Jasper was biting his nails, currently on his right hand, but Clarke was sure that he will switch to the left one soon enough. And then, a smile appeared on her face. Monty and Harper sat in the second row, seemingly not doing anything. Each one of them was leaning to the opposite side, so that their shoulder wouldn’t touch, but what Clarke found endearing was their hands, clasped together, below the chairs so no one would see it. But she did.

 

Image appeared on the screen, and they could see Bellamy strapped down. All they could see was his torso and head, and he looked ok. Clarke knew that he was shitting his pants right now, but Bellamy always tried to look manly enough, even if he would rather go somewhere quiet and cry. Numbers and letters were written in the corner of the screen, showing them the time and number of G’ forces one is enduring at the moment. They all perked up, looking intently, waiting for Nyko.  
He instructed Bellamy what to do, which Bellamy did, and they started. He was in that pod for about fifteen minutes, reaching 7 G’s for half a minute. That was a solid number, and he smiled at the end, before he got out of the pod. Octavia stood up, waiting for her name to be called out, and soon enough it did. Captain Forrest appeared in the room, calling her to come with her. Bellamy entered the room soon enough and everybody congratulated him on doing a fine job. It was Octavia’s turn. Raven stood up and approached the screen, standing in the line of sight, but everybody moved their heads except Finn.

“Reyes, you know that I would look at that ass all day, but not now. Move it.” he said exasperated and she calmly turned around looking him straight in the eyes and deadpanned.

“Collins…I will castrate you.” That was enough for Finn to shut up and take some other chair.

Octavia was in the pod almost the same amount of time as her brother, and she also reached 7 G’s for thirty seconds. When she finished, she had a biggest smile, shouting.

“You were right Harps, this is the best roller-coaster ride in my life.” Laughter rippled throughout the room, and Octavia was out of the frame, meaning that the next person is about to be called. 

Lexa opened the door, letting Octavia in and she ran towards Raven hugging her tightly. 

“I did it.” she whispered to Raven and other girl just nodded smiling widely. 

“Smooch fest, please, leave it for later.” Collins piped out and Octavia just turned around, shaking her head.

“What the fuck is actually wrong with you?” Bellamy hit his arm. “Good job O, I’m proud.” he hugged her too. Finn tried to roll his eyes, but was stopped mid by the Lexa’s voice.

“Collins, let’s go.” she had most devilish smirk Clarke ever saw, and she was glad that someone is not falling for his charm like women officers always did. He got up and walked towards her, and Lexa moved from the door so he could pass by.

“If someone has a phone here, I think you would want to record this.” She motioned to the screen and with that got out and closed the door. They all bundled up in the front row, taking best seats to this blockbuster. Or better yet, ballbuster.

Finn was sitting in the seat, strapped down, his eyes franticly taking in his surroundings.

“It’s tight…” he breathed. 

“No shit Sherlock.” Octavia commented. 

Nyko spoke and everybody waited for the show to begin.

“For the record, please state your name and your rank.” 

“You know it already.” Finn tried to make a joke, but Anya cut him.

“Don’t be a smart ass again Collins. We all know how that ended up last time.” 

Everybody in the room laughed and hollered, waiting what is going to happen next. And then they could hear Lexa’s voice coming in.

“And Collins…I’m here. Again.” At that Finn got serious.

“Finn Collins, Airman First Class.” he produced.

“All right Finn, I’m setting your first profile on 3 G’s. See that stick in front of you?” Nyko asked and Finn nodded. “I want you to pull on it when I tell you. I will inform you when you hit 3 G’s. You will release the stick when I tell you too. Understood?” Finn nodded again.

“Ok, profile is set. Tell me when you are ready.” Finn took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m ready.”

“And…engaging.” They all could see numbers going up on the screen.

“I…I think I’m loosing it.” Finn piped through strained voice, and Nyko’s voice came soon after.

“No you are not, you are at 2 G’s still Collins.” and everybody could see that Finn got ashamed for the first time.

“Since this one didn’t work, we will start again.” Nyko informed him. “Same as the first time, and don’t get scared, you are fine.” 

“I’m not scared.” Finn tried to shake it off, but the truth was different. He continued with his profiles, reaching maximum seven, but being steady at 5 G’s. Now everybody was questioning if that was enough. But, what is done, is done. There are no turning back.

Anya came in and called Monty who detached himself from Harper sharing a quick glance with her and then Jasper who patted him on the back. They waited for a while, and Finn came into the room, sweating, looking like he could puke. No one gave him a hard time, at least, not just yet.  
Finn was in there longest, and Monty unfortunately passed out after he hit 7 G’s. He came back abruptly, his gaze was lost, and Nyko tried to guide him down. 

“Green, you are ok? Get your head up.” He told him.

“It is up.” Monty replied but his head was still slumped down.

“Get your arms up.” Nyko tried again. 

“They are.” Monty replied and jerked again, coming around fully, lifting his head so everybody could see him. Harper was squeezing Clarke’s hand now so tightly that the blonde was sure something will snap soon. But she will be there for her.

“Wow…that was weird. Wha…What happened?” Monty smiled slightly looking utterly spent. Nyko’s voice came through colored with amusement. 

“I think you know what happened.” 

“Yeah…G – LOC.” He answered still looking around.

“How do you feel?” Anya spoke through intercom. 

“Like I was in the fight…” Monty smiled.

“And, who won?” she asked.

“Um…I don’t know yet.” he shook his head.

“All right, you are all done.” Nyko informed him. “Good job.”

Monty was out of the pod and it was Clarke’s turn now. She waited patiently for someone to come and call her. Door opened and Lexa stepped in.

“Griffin.” she called looking at Clarke as she got up and fist bumped all the girls in the room.

“You got this.” Wells said winking. Clarke walked towards Lexa, never taking her eyes from hers. As she stepped out, she heard door being closed and she was yanked by the arm. She turned around and saw Lexa being at the verge of panic attack, or it seamed so.

“Captain Woods?” she asked quietly. Lexa never let go of her arm, but gut closer to her, still looking blonde in the eyes. 

“Griffin, I implore you to be smart in there. Don’t push yourself.” Lexa said, lowering her voice as someone might hear them.

“If I don’t push myself, how can I know what my limits are?” Clarke asked, again, getting a whiplash from Lexa’s proximity and unexplainable patronage.

“Please…” Lexa almost begged her. Clarke opened her mouth to respond, but other door was getting opened and Lexa quickly retracted her hand. Anya popped up from the control room, looking at both of them with squinted eyes.

“Is everything all right?” she asked looking at Lexa.

“Yes. I was just showing Lieutenant Griffin where to go.” Lexa answered and motioned to the door where Clarke headed instantly, not looking back.

Lexa exhaled and went into the control room with Anya, looking at Clarke approaching the pod. Before she got in, Jackson put the same things on her as he did with previous pilots, and when she was done, she went in and strapped herself. Her face popped up on the screen that was on the console, and Lexa took a deep breath. Anya was standing beside her, watching her with her peripheral vision. Nyko was sitting down at the console, Lexa and Anya stood behind him, looking at the centrifuge machine through the big glass window. Clarke seemed calm for now, and Lexa was grateful for that. 

“For the record, state your name and rank please.” Nyko repeated the question that all of them had to answer.

“Clarke Griffin, Lieutenant.” Clarke answered calmly.

“All right Clarke, just relax. This is going to be fun.”

“I hope so.” Clarke said with her brow raised and Anya could feel Lexa tensed for a second. 

“That’s the spirit. I’m looking at your heart rate, and it’s good. Steady.” Clarke just nodded.

“According to your file, you have pulled 9 G’s once. It was a brief encounter, but you did it, right?” Nyko tried to calm Clarke even more with small chitchat.

“Yes sir.” Clarke nodded.

“That is amazing. Now…We will start with 3 G’s, but I’m fairly confident that you will breeze through it.”

“I hope so.”

“You have a stick in front of you. When I tell you to pull it, you do so. I will inform you every time when you have to release it. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” Clarke nodded.

“Tell me when you are ready.” Nyko said.

“I’m ready.” Clarke gave him a green light.

“All right. We are at 1.4 G’. And 3,2,1 engage.” 

Lexa could see machine starting to spin around faster and faster, and Clarke was in there. She couldn’t understand why was she so scared for the girl, she was a pilot after all, she already did this. But Lexa fought the urge to stop everything. Clarke on the other hand seemed like she was taking this very well. It lasted for fifteen seconds, and Nyko informed Clarke that she was coming down again at 1.4 G’. Clarke took smaller breaths, but still had a smile on her face. 

“How was that?” Nyko asked.

“It was good.”

“No color lost? No grains? ”

“No sir.” Clarke shook her head.

“Good. I will set your profile for 5 G’s. Now, as you know, this will be little harder. I want you to relax your upper body, but I want you to lock down your lower body. That means, you need to push against the floor. Got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“Now, that stick is all on you. When you pull it, you are enabling the profile, so as soon it hits 5 G’s I will inform you. After that, you are the one in charge. Pull it as long as you can, and also be free to release it when you feel like you can’t take it anymore. All right.”

“Understood.” Clarke nodded.

“This will go very fast, so when I say it, I want you to lock down your lower body, hold onto that stick, and use the breathing technique. You remember it?”

“I do sir.” Clarke nodded again.

“Alright. Legs, abs, hard. Take a breath, grab the stick.” Nyko ordered and when Clarke complied he proceeded.

“1,2,3 you are up.” Clarke was hitting 5 G’s and her face started to contort a bit, she took her breaths at a steady paste of 3 seconds. She would exhale, and take another breath. She was doing that for fifteen seconds, never letting go of the stick. 

“Coming down slowly.” Nyko informed her and it was visible when blood rushed back to her head. “Good job Griffin. Any vision loss?” he checked.

“No sir.” Clarke shook her head.

“Did you lose that green light on the side.” Nyko asked again. Clarke was able to see two lights that were blinking in the pod. One was red and it was right in front of her. Other one was green and it was placed like so she would be able to see it with her peripheral vision.

“No sir, I was able to see it all the time.” Clarke cleared out.

“I like that. Now, you have to breathe little bit better. I want to hear a clear K sound when you exhale. Understood?” 

“Yes. Can I take a sip of water?” Clarke asked and Lexa absentmindedly nodded.

“Absolutely. I’m getting your next profile ready.” Nyko said and typed something on a console. Anya leaned to Lexa, whispering.

“Are you ok?” Lexa snapped back, her eyes leaving the monitor for the first time since Clarke got in.

“Yeah…I’m fine.” She reassured Anya, but Anya saw that Lexa was still tense, her spine was rigid, her muscles screaming to be released for a second.

“Remember, I want to hear that K, keep your abs and legs tight. Got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“I want to try something, if you are up for it…” Nyko said to Clarke and Lexa’s head snapped so quickly towards Nyko, she might have broken something.

“What are you doing?” she asked him.

“Yes sir.” Clarke responded and Nyko looked at Lexa made a motion like he was telling her to calm down.

“For this next one, I want you to tilt your head to the left, like you are trying to see something behind your back.” Nyko informed her and Clarke tilted her head, her chin almost touching her shoulder. 

“Everything stays the same, breathing, stick, muscles. Got it?”

“Yes. I’m ready.” Clarke informed him.

“Alright. Breath.” Clarke took a sharp intake of breath.

“Up, up, up, up. Keep breathing.” Clarke exhaled and took another breath, feeling like her neck is going to snap at any second. Her lungs were burning and she felt like elephant sat on her chest. It was strenuous task even to take a breath, let alone to hold and pull on that stick, but she was enduring it like a champ.

“Let me hear that K.” Nyko asked her, and with next breath Clarke improved on her technique. “That’s it. Breathe.” And Clarke listened to his voice like a guidance. “1, 2, 3 breathe.” She did, again announcing that K sound.

“Coming down.” He informed her and she thought after 3 seconds she came down to 1.4 G’s. “Release the stick.” and she did. Turning her head upwards she rubbed her face, trying to ease the muscles a little. They could hear in the control room a loud roar from the back room where all of her peers were. Anya was smirking, nodding slightly, and Nyko shook his head laughing. Sill, Lexa was tense, gritting her teeth. This was most uncomfortable she ever felt in her career. 

“Wow, Griffin, let me tell you. You are something else.” Nyko praised her and Clarke smiled her bright smile, looking at the camera. Those blue eyes sucked Lexa in, even though Clarke didn’t know who she was looking at.

“Thank you sir… How long was that?” she asked him.

“What do you think?”

“Um…fifteen seconds.” Clarke responded and Nyko and Anya laughed a throaty laugh, Nyko leaving intercom on so Clarke could hear their reaction. She smiled stil, but felt uneasy. Did she overdid it? Was it way less? Lexa was now giving some hints of a smirk, jerking her jaw unnoticeably once to the side.

“Griffin, that was thirty seconds, pulling 7 G’s.” he informed her. 

“Nice.” She responded still smiling, and Lexa admired Clarke and her down to earth attitude. In her career she saw pilots doing the same, but they acted like they found a cure for the cancer. All proud and smug. But not Clarke. 

“Alright, for the final one, you will be going from 6g’s down to one, up to 7 G’s, then again down to one, and then up to 8 G’s. Got it?”

“Huh…yes sir.” she nodded and smiled.

“Don’t worry, you are doing great. Keep that breathing like last time. I will count for you, so you can rely on me. Also, I will inform you when you will be going up. Coming down part is easy, you’ll feel it by yourself.”

“Let’s do it.” Clarke was now pumped up, knowing that Lexa is watching. “Let’s test my limits.” Lexa had her hands clasped behind her back, and she squeezed her hand with the other so tightly that she stopped all the blood flow to it, turning it white in millisecond. 

“Gladly.” Nyko chuckled. “Tell me when you are ready?” 

“I’m ready.” 

“Lock your legs, abs, grab a shift.” And Clarke did. “Breath, pull. Up, up up… you are at 6. Breathe.” Clarke breathed out. “ Keep those muscles tight. Breathe.” Again she did, the K being audible just like Nyko instructed her. “Good.” And she could feel coming down again to 1.4 G’s. “Breathe nice and slow. And…lock it. Going up.”  
Clarke could feel again that pressure coming onto her so quickly that almost knocked the breath out of her lungs. “You are at 7 G’s. Breathe.” and Clarke welcomed it.  
“Pull your shoulders down. Breathe.” Clarke tried her best, but now she felt seven times her weight pressing her down into the seat and every move now was almost impossible. 

“One more time, breathe.” she grunted at that one, feeling her head slightly light headed. Luckily, again she was coming down, her body wasn’t under a pile of coil anymore. She could breathe normally again.

“Any color loss?” Nyko quickly checked with her and she shook her head. 

“Don’t grunt next time, sound that K, keep your abs and butt tight, it’ll keep your blood in your upper body.” he informed her, and Lexa was preparing for the last round. Eight G forces. She remembers how she felt when she was doing this. Her body was ready to implode, so much heaviness on her chest, she thought she wouldn’t be able to breathe, ever. Her face muscles were useless at that point, elongating her face under the pressure. She thought it was melting away. Nyko’s voice brought her back to reality and Clarke.

“This is the last one, and I need you to do your best Griffin. Here we go…Legs tight, squeeze your abs. Breath. Going up.”

Clarke never felt anything like this before for this long period of time. Her head weighted like a smaller truck it seemed. She grinned, trying to keep her cheeks in place, baring her teeth in the process. It wasn’t a pretty site. This made it harder to breathe, but she tried anyway. She took a breath, sounding the K. It felt like the eternity. She breathed again. Clenching her but and abs every time she took a breath. Her legs were so heavy, she wouldn’t be able to move them even if she wanted to. And then she felt the blissful release, feeling getting lighter by the second.

Again, loud roar was herd from the back room, and Anya clapped. Nyko shook his head and held his hands up, like he wasn’t believing what he witnessed. Lexa relaxed for the first time. It was over. She passed. And she did it like a bad ass. Like a true Griffin. She watched Clarke on the monitor widening her eyes couple of times, looking around the pod. She stiffened again, fear seeping in her mind.

“Nyko, check on her.” she urged him.

“How you feeling Griffin.” 

“Um…good.” she smiled. “Last one was a bitch.” and Anya approached the mic.

“You don’t tell blondie. Good fucking job.” she praised Clarke, but Lexa still stood on her spot not being able to move. Clarke asked herself if Lexa was even there in the room?

“Thank you Captain. Hope I impressed Captain Woods too?” Clarke asked. Anya looked at Lexa who was still silent, not moving, eyes taped to the monitor. 

“Oh, you’ve impressed her alright. I’ve never seen her speechless.” Anya joked. “Griffin… would you like to leave me speechless too?” Anya asked abruptly and at that Lexa looked at her taking a step forward.

“I would like to …If it’s within my capabilities.” Clarke answered smirking slightly.

“See, this is something very few pilots can do without excessive training…” Anya started but Lexa stopped her.

“What are you doing? She passed.”

“She did…but maybe she is able for much more than just passing.” Anya replied.

“She is not your white lab mouse to play with.” Lexa urged Anya to stop. 

“She is most definitely not. But, she might be willing to do this.”

“ Anya, stop. It’s over. Let her out.” She held her hand on Anya’s bicep. 

“I’ll give her a choice.” Anya said and turned on the mic again, effectively stopping Lexa form further argument. “So, this is the deal…this one is all on you. You can choose if you want to do it or not. It’s a 8 G challenge. You have to endure thirty seconds of pulling 8 G’s. All by yourself. That means, you have to dig that stick into your stomach and hold it there, while 8 G’s are doing it’s magic. For a half a minute.” Anya finished and looked at Lexa who was ready to deck her down right there on the spot. She reached for the mic.

“Griffin, you don’t have to do this. It’s a stupid challenge.” she said, and Clarke felt warmth after just hearing Lexa’s voice again. She was there. But, Clarke remembered the scene from this morning, Lexa hugging that woman, and a surge of anger and something else ran through her body.

“Did you do it?” Clarke asked and put Lexa on the spot. Silence. Anya looked at Lexa, waiting for her friend to respond. Octavia was standing on a chair at this moment, Raven was on her knees looking at the screen. Everybody else was motionless, almost not breathing. Waiting. Lexa shut her eyes hard. She couldn’t lie in front of Anya. She knew the truth. She took a breath, her mouth just inches from the mic.

“Yes.” she said with small voice. Anya smirked. Nyko waited patiently, looking at Clarke.

“Well then, I have to do it.” Clarke deadpanned and elicited screams and shouts from the back room. Anya clapped her hands and laughed when she heard Raven shouting.

‘That’s my crazy bitch.” Raven lost her voice by now. Lexa released the mic and went back to her spot, not daring to look at Anya thinking that she could kill her right now. 

“Alright…I will set up the profile then.” Nyko said and Clarke took this time to breathe a bit more normally, knowing what is going to be like. For thirty seconds. She was starting to second guess her decision, but there was no turning back now. She took a sip from her water bottle, refreshing her now very tired body.

“It’s ready. Listen to me now…Like you did previous times, body is going to be locked down. Do not relax, because if you do all of your blood will rush into your legs, brain will have lack of oxygen and you will G LOC. That’s number one. Number two, breathing is crucial here. I want to hear that K like never before, count inwardly. Do not rush it. I don’t have to tell you how will you feel at the end.”

“I have an idea.” Clarke joked, trying to ease her mind.

“You are in charge here. As long as you pull that stick, you will be pulling 8 G’s, and as soon as you release it you will come down. Are we clear? “

“Crystal.” Clarke nodded. Well shit. This is happening.

“Alright, let’s do this. Profile is engaged. Breath, legs pushing, and pull.” As soon as Clarke pulled she could fell rapidly her chest being crushed again. Again, she grinned and widened her eyes almost comically, feeling like her face will be ripped off at any moment. She breathed again. It was lot harder than the last time. Her chest was restricting her, not being able to do its job and expand. She calculated that she is enduring a lot of pressure. She weights 150lbs so she was at this moment surviving pressure of 1200lbs on her body. She breathed again. That’s a lot of fucking shit on top of me, she thought. She took another breath. And it’s heavy to breathe. Another one. I don’t want to pass out. Breath. Lexa is watching. Breath. Lexa. Breath. Fuck, I like her. Breath. Fuck, I really like her. Breath. SHIT. Another breath. 

Lexa panicked. Clarke haven’t released her stick and thirty seconds mark just passed.

“Shut it off now.” Lexa shouted scaring Anya in the process, she was so engulfed watching blonde. Nyko disabled the stick and hit the button to stop the profile. Clarke was still pulling on the stick, not realizing that her time was up but feeling much welcomed pressure release, understanding that time was up. She came down again to one G, feeling blood rushing back to her head, making her feel slightly dizzy. But everything else was fine. She hasn’t lost her vision, she didn’t experience G LOC, or if she did, she couldn’t remember. All she could take from this ride was this: she was fucking falling for her instructor three days into her six week long program. Well, fuck me.

“Get out Griffin.” Nyko shook his head smiling. “You are done.” Clarke smiled and unclasped the buckles that were strapping her to the seat, opening the door, being greeted by the doctor Jackson who took all of the things that he taped on her before she went in. Lexa watched all of that from the glass window, turning around walking towards the door.

“Anya, call the next one. I’ll be back in a minute.” Any just nodded, realizing she needed to give her a minute, or two. Lexa was her best friend, and she knew damn well that something was going on. 

 

Lexa waited for Clarke to come into a little hall, and as soon as she did, Lexa grabbed Clarke by the arm and pulled her not so gently towards another room, away from Anya and her waiting peers. They needed to talk. Alone. Clarke stumbled at first, but regain her footing, following Lexa. After Lexa almost shoved Clarke into the room that was some kind of classroom or it seemed so, she closed the door swiftly behind them, turning to look at Clarke. Blonde stood there and she could almost feel anger oozing from ever stoic brunette. Lexa approached her, step by step, her hands fisted by her sides. Her eyes were burning, that warm green was now darker, her eyes looked hooded, her demeanor frightening. As Lexa took a step forward, Clarke counteracted by taking one step back.

“Do you feel good?” Lexa gritted her teeth. One step closer.

“I feel…a bit tired.” Clarke responded. One step back.

“Just that? Nothing more? Not listening to me, didn’t make you feel fucking ecstatic?” Lexa took longer step forward.

“I didn’t disobey any order you gave to me, it’ was an advice, and I took it.” Clarke took one step back.

“No?” Lexa squinted her eyes. “Yesterday you thanked me for everything and was pretty open to my opinion and today you look like you want to do everything to spite me…” Lexa almost spat now. Vein in her neck popped out, her knuckles were white, and she took one final step towards Clarke, backing her to the table.

“Why do you care?” Clarke challenged Lexa looking her in the eyes. Just inches between them, their breaths melted into one another.

“Why do you think I care?” Lexa dared. Rage subsided and she relaxed bit more, leaning towards Clarke, their gaze locked. They have never been closer than this, and Clarke was feeling way more dizzier now than she felt minutes ago. All that testing was nothing compared to Lexa and her proximity that was getting bigger and bigger. Clarke was ready to take the plunge, and taste those lips that were so close to hers right now. She was going to commit.  
As she started to lean in, to close that gap, doors opened and Anya stepped in. Clarke couldn’t step back anymore, she was pinned to the table, so Lexa recoiled fast, trying to distance herself from Clarke as much as possible. Anya eyed them knowingly and Lexa cleared her throat, clasping her hands behind her back again.

“I was just congratulating Lieutenant Griffin here. She did good.” Lexa produced and Anya slowly nodded.

“That she did…” she looked at Clarke who didn’t know what to do. Were they caught? But in what? Nothing happened, unfortunately.

“Nice work Griffin. That was bad ass.” Anya praised Clarke and she just nodded.

“Thank you Captain Forrest.” Clarke looked at Lexa who was now looking at the floor, deep in her thoughts, like she was trying to figure out some fucked up math equation. 

“Woods…” Anya called Lexa and she snapped her head up. “We got next one waiting.” 

“Yeah…let’s go.” she strode towards the door and Anya, turning around. “You could watch, when you refresh.”

“Will do.” Clarke responded and Lexa and Anya exited the room, leaving Clarke flustered, confused and turned on to no end. She could still feel Lexa’s warm breath on her lips, so fucking close. This day was more than Clarke expected to be, and she knew that each day coming is going to be even more interesting. As long Lexa is here.


	4. Know your limits...then break them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right people, here it is ,10.5K monster, longest chapter I've ever written.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope it was worth it, waiting and all ;)

Clarke jerked up abruptly, covered in sweat looking around the room wide eyed, seeing Octavia on the bed next to her still sleeping soundly. She took couple of deep breaths, wiping her forehead with her hand. She felt dizzy and nauseated at the same time. She glanced to her table clock, seeing it was past 2 am. Her dream was fucked up this night. She was dreaming about her father, he was with her on the base, but he never said one thing to her. He just motioned for her to keep up with him and follow him through some imaginary maze. His face was stern, no signs of his radiant smile, no hugs or kisses on the head. He was always couple of steps in front of her and she never managed to touch him even though she called after him several times. She felt restricted, like one feels in dreams, like she wasn’t able to do what she wanted and that annoyed her. Voice that came out of her was always muffled like she was under water or something, even though she tried her best to scream and stop her father. She tried everything, but to no avail. He was walking, turning around from time to time, waiving with his hand to her urging her to step up. At the end of that maze that was made of hallways and hangars she saw here on the base, was one room, door opened, light shining through them. He walked into the room, stepping aside so she could walk in too. When she finally reached him, she tried to hug him, but he slowly raised his hand, pointing to something with his index finger. Clarke turned around, to the direction her father was motioning to and she saw something. Or rather, someone. 

Captain Lexa Woods.

She was sitting behind the desk that was filled with papers, looking at Jake, her face stone cold, her moves nonexistent. Clarke snapped her head back to her father, wanting to ask him what is this, why doesn’t he wants to speak with her, and why is Lexa even here? And then her father did something she wasn’t expecting. Still pointing to Lexa, he smiled. Smallest of the smiles, but still, it was a smile. He was still looking at Lexa, like Clarke vanished in that moment, like she wasn’t the part of this little meeting her deceased father had with her instructor. Jake was still smiling, his eyes were warm, almost filled with tears, but also filled with affection and pride. Clarke looked back to Lexa and she just smirked, edge of her lips went upwards, and she swiftly nodded to him. Like she understood what he was telling her. Except, he wasn’t telling her anything. At that moment Jake was gone, like he never was in the same room with Clarke and Lexa, like nothing happened. Clarke again turned towards Lexa that was still looking at the same spot where Jake was moments ago, still robotic, without any movement. At the same moment when Clarke thought Lexa couldn’t see her, Lexa abruptly turned her head towards Clarke, looking her straight in the eyes, that motherfucking smirk still on her lips. Clarke felt fear, but not that crippling fear, more like surge of adrenaline, of unexpected attention all of a sudden. Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but Lexa just winked at her, and Clarke woke up.

Still coming down from her high, she rested her head on the cold wall behind her bed, thinking what that dream could mean, if it meant anything. She wasn’t superstitious, she didn’t believe in that crap, but still, she really wanted to know, what was her father trying to tell her. She calmed herself enough to go back to dreamless sleep thankfully, since she really needed her sleep. 

 

 

They were all sitting in one room in administrative building, waiting for their turn to go and have their psychological examination, or the shrink talk they called it. Clarke hasn’t seen Captain Woods this morning in the mass, or later on when they were brought up here for next round of testing, leaving the job to be done by Captains Forrest and Duke. Her head was a mess, her dream still lingering in her thoughts, not being able to shake it off. Raven and Octavia saw that Clarke was off this morning, but they didn’t ask anything. They knew what day today was, and they respected Clarke’s wishes not to be overly chatty or friendly today. One by one, they went in, and upon coming out they were escorted outside of the room by Lincoln. They couldn’t talk about what was happening inside, so they couldn’t stay in the waiting room. Clarke was last one that was called in. She waited long enough, and by this point she was aggravated and snappy for no reason. Anya saw that and before she let Clarke come inside the office she stopped her and gave her an advice.

“Griffin, calm down. It’s going to be ok. Just talk to the women, she is a good listener. Don’t worry.”

“All right. Thank you Captain.”

And with that Clarke walked into the big office, and as soon as she stepped inside and looked at the person she needed to talk, she froze. It was that woman. That woman Lexa hugged so tightly, that woman Lexa gushed over. FUCK.MY.LIFE is all Clarke could think. Woman smiled brightly to Clarke, almost blinding her with the beauty she exuded, her eyes smiling too. She was genuine, she wasn’t faking it and Clarke hated her for it. Because Clarke had to fake the shit out of her smile. She walked further into the room, reaching out with her hand to shake already stretched hand by this perfect women. 

“Good afternoon Lieut. Griffin. Please take a seat.” she motioned towards one of the chairs that were in front of Clarke, and after she nodded, Clarke sat down looking at the woman in front of her. Well, to be honest, she could see why would Lexa like her. She was poised, well mannered, warm and not intimidating. She was beautiful on top of it, her eyes almost as beautiful as Lexa’s were. Almost.

“I’m Major Costia Kapor, I’m here to do psychological examination for this new, fresh and may I say, good looking group of pilots.” she winked effortlessly and Clarke looked at her like she had two heads. Was she flirting? What the actual fuck is going on?

“I want you to know Clarke….May I call you Clarke?” she genuinely asked, no undertone of degrading Clarke in any way, so Clarke just nodded and smiled.

“So, yes, I just want you to know that this is going to be easy, nothing scary or anything like that. No Rorschach test, I will not prod into your subconscious with variety of manipulating techniques that we shrinks poses. No hypnosis, nothing of that sort of things. We will basically just chat. Is that ok?” Costia finished and stared at Clarke. 

Clarke was flabbergasted. 

Costia saw that Clarke wasn’t following her rant and she just laughed, now throaty, deep and inviting. 

“I’m sorry, some of your predecessors had some interesting ideas why I’m here and what was I set to do to them. So, I figured, I’ll just clear everything up right of the bat, so we can move on with this examination, without any unanswered questions.” she cleared things up, her smile never faltering down, and Clarke knew at that moment what idiot asked what. Finn was the one asking about prodding, Jasper was the one that asked about hypnosis, and Raven was the one that asked about Rorschach test. So she just smiled and shook her head slightly.

“I really don’t have those kind of questions really. I believe you are more than capable of doing your job, and who am I to question your methods?” Clarke shrugged. 

“What questions do you have?” Costia retorted quickly, putting her in the spot, and Clarke started to see what kind of conversation they will have. She had multiple questions regarding Captain Woods and her, but she couldn’t ask those. So she shrugged again.

“None, for now. If I think of one, I’ll be sure to ask you.”

“Excellent.” Costia clapped her hands, and reclined in her chair. She took a notebook and she scribbled something in it.

“So, Clarke… Why are you here?” Costia asked.

“I’m not following?”

“Why you are here, on the base, participating in Top Gun?”

“Well… I am a pilot, and after some consideration, they chose me and nine other people to come here and upgrade out knowledge and skills.” Clarke wasn’t sure where this is going, but she gave an honest answer. Costia just nodded.

“Why you became a pilot?” Costia asked, and Clarke got her angle.

“My father was a pilot. I grew up looking at jets, hearing stories about flying, about adrenaline. I wanted to be just like my father, so naturally, I starter to gain more and more interest about being a fighter pilot. And here I am. Living the dream.” she said this last sentence with a hint of irony and Costia got it.

“Is your mother pilot too?”

“No…she is a doctor.” Clarke answered.

“Did you wanted to become a doctor at any point of your life?”

“No.” Clarke deadpanned.

“Why?” Costia asked.

“I wanted to become pilot. It’s simple as that.” Costia hummed and wrote something in her notebook.

“How’s your relationship with your mother? Is she supportive of your choices?”

“Um…” Clarke faltered a bit. “No. She disapproves. She never wanted me to become pilot or be in a military all together.”

“So, your relationship is…”

“Halting, at the moment.” Clarke finished. 

“Why is she so opposed to the idea of you doing this for a living?” Clarke blinked slowly couple of times, and took a deep breath.

“My father died while he was on duty.” she said and Costia nodded. “I guess, after losing a husband, she really didn’t like the idea of losing her daughter too.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“I understand her…to some degree. But this is my life and my choices. If she can’t get behind that, she can stay out of my way.” Clarke said sternly. 

“All right… we will get back to that.” Costia again wrote something and Clarke would sell her left kidney just to see what was in that notebook.

“Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? I can see in your file that you are not married yet, so…Is there someone special in your life?” Costia asked and Clarke was taken aback by this question.

“Not at the moment.” she scrunched up her face, annoyed suddenly. “Do you?” she spat. Costia perked up, smirking a little.

“I don’t know why is that important Clarke.” she answered looking amused all of a sudden.

“Well, you asked me, so it must have some kind of importance.” Clarke piped up, not caving down under Costia’s stern gaze.

“I have to ask that Clarke.” Costia said.

“Do you really?” 

“Yes…you see. Your father is dead, your mother is not talking to you, I know you have no siblings, so I have to find something that will stop you from doing stupid shit up there if you ever find yourself in a real combat.” Costia explained.

“So, I have to have someone to think about in those moments? My sheer will to live is not enough?” Clarke asked, feeling angrier by the second.

“Not necessarily. But being a lone wolf is bad, for your emotional state, that can transcend onto your work and decisions you make.”

“Can I be honest with you Major?” Clarke gritted.

“Please do.”

“That is a load of bull crap and you know it. I am 28 years old woman with striving career, doing things most of people couldn’t even imagine doing. I bet my sweet ass you haven’t ask this question to Collins or Blake.” Costia sat upwards, her spine rigid, her face cold.

“You are right Clarke, I haven’t asked these questions. But don’t you sit there and talk to me like I didn’t went through the same shit as any other woman in military or anywhere for that matter. I am well aware of your accomplishments, but I also know that you won’t or simply can’t stop doing things even though your superior told you to quit.” Clarke felt surge of anger towards Lexa, imagining Costia and Captain Woods laying in a bed, sharing stories, Lexa spilling how Clarke is stubborn, plotting her expulsion. She was brought back from her reverie when Costia started speaking again.

“I’m not saying you are not fit for this job if you don’t have a spouse and four children, all I’m saying is that you at some point could be dangerous. And we can’t have that here.” Clarke was now pale. Is this really happening? Is this really the end?

“Now…tell me, why are you so driven to do opposite things as your instructors tell you to?”

“You mean Captain Woods?” Clarke spat. If she is going down, she will fuck this bitch up and all of her mind games. 

“Yes, I mean Captain Woods.” Costia answered honestly, calming down, hoping that Clarke will calm down too. 

“Hah…I knew it.” Clarke retorted. “ Captain Woods should have informed you better. I never, I repeat, NEVER disobeyed her orders.”

“She never said you did.” Clarke was now surprised. Than what? Where are you going with this?

“So, I don’t understand then.”

“Captain Woods talks about you with all the praises. I never saw her being so generous with her compliments about a newcomer.” Costia said and Clarke was riddled again. What the fuck?

“She said that you preformed outstandingly on your previous tests, and that your head is firmly on your shoulders. She thinks that you will be a great fighter pilot.”

“But you don’t.” Clarke responded.

“I didn’t say that.” 

“Oh please, do you really think I’m going to believe that you will give me a green light after this session?”

“I won’t give you a green light.” Costia said and Clarke felt the end breathing to her neck.

“I’m going to give you a yellow light.”

“What is that mean?” Clarke said exasperatedly. 

“That means that I want to talk to you again. Next week. Two sessions, we can call them that.” she wrote again and Clarke was baffled. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Next week is your improvement week. That is why you don’t have scheduled flights up until week three. So, I want to chat with you some more. Is that ok with you?”

“Can I say no?” 

“Not really.” Costia chuckled. “But trust me Clarke, this doesn’t mean that you failed or that you are not for this job. I just want to talk some more.” Costia tried to reassure Clarke.

“All right.” Clarke just relented and she received small paper from Costia, that had written time of their next ‘conversations’. Clarke stood up, gathering this was the end of her assessment, but Costia stopped her.

“Clarke…I’m sorry this is happening today. I get that your head is not in the right place, and that’s why I want to leave our conversation for next week. Take this weekend off, rest and recharge. All right?”

 

Clarke just nodded, not really being sure what was Costia talking about. She saluted her and got out of the office. No one was there, since she was the last one, and they had the rest of the day off. Well, most of them. Jasper and Monty got an order to go and speak with someone in department that was in charge of drone piloting and navigating. She thought about Costia’s words and what she meant by them. And then it hit her. How on earth could she forget about it? She felt like she betrayed her father, like she forgot about him, about everything that happened. She was on the verge of tears. It was the anniversary of his death.   
And she completely overlooked it. How on earth could she do something like that? She got out of the building into the harsh desert sun and heat, but she couldn’t be bothered by those things. She thought about her mother. She should put her pride aside and call the woman. She is alone, same as Clarke was. She walked past the dorms and buildings onto the runway, heading towards that same spot she and Lexa had the conversation that helped her ease her nerves. She sat on the bench, retrieving her phone, clicking on her mother’s contact. Even if she calls her now, will her mother pick up? Was she still mad? Maybe she was working? Clarke shook her head, and just pressed call icon. After just two rings her mother answered.

 

“Hello…Clarke, is everything ok?” her mother asked with slight panic in her voice and Clarke smiled. 

“Hi Mom…” she answered. “Everything is fine…I just…Um, I just wanted to hear your voice.” Clarke said honestly. Yes, the reason why she called was her father’s death, but the truth is, she missed her mother. Even though Abby was always stern with her regarding Clarkes choice of profession, she also always harbored insane amount of love and worry for the girl.

“I’m glad you called sweetie.” her mother was genuinely glad and happy to hear Clarkes voice and she could feel it. “How are you?”

“Um…you know. Not so happy today.” she whispered, feeling her throat being restricted, almost painfully trying not to cry. Her eyes were filled with tears, just moments from flowing freely.

“Oh honey…” Abby’s voice was gentle and full of love. “Me too. They say it should get easier after some time, but it still hurts, the same.” Clarke nodded vigorously like her mother could see her, not saying anything.

“How is…How is Top Gun?” Abby asked finally, and Clarke detected some resentment.

“Mom, I really don’t want to fight, I jus…”

“I’m honestly asking Clarke.” Abby said. “I got some time to think and re think and at the end of it, you are my child. You are the love of my life since the moment I first held you in my arms…And so, I still can be opposed, but I want to be there for you. I need it. I need you. I lost him, and I can’t lose you.” her mother concluded and that was all that was necessary for Clarke to break down. She started to cry freely, not minding the looks from other military man that were on the runway, looking at her. She sobbed, her body shaking, she clung to the phone listening to her mother that tried to calm her down by whispering to her that everything is going to be ok. After some time she collected herself enough to tell her mother about her first week here.

“We had some testing, and I did good, really good mom, but today, this shrink witch told me I can’t be pilot if I don’t have husband, and she wants to see me some more, probably to make me marry someone from this base….” Clarke rambled on, not really paying attention what she was saying. She was wenting.

“Excuse me, who the fuck is that bitch?? Tell me her name, I will find her in the system, and I will personally make her life a living hell. WHAT THE FUCK?” Abby shouted to the phone and Clarke started laughing.

“Mom, since when you curse like that?” she asked still chuckling, wiping her nose and face with her sleeve unceremoniously.

“Since bitches like that feel they could say everything they want. What are her credentials? Where did she study? What is…”

“Mom, stop. It’s fine. She didn’t say that, I was exaggerating. She kept it professional, I am just in a weird mood these past few days.” Clarke tried to explain and calm her mother.

“Mhm…Any reason for that?” Abby asked in much more calmed manner. 

“I guess it’s the pressure…I want to be good. But this is a whole another beast to concur, and they are testing us every day and today is just a lot for me. So I needed this little mental break down.” she said smiling. “Thank you Mom…”

“For what Clarke?”

“For picking up…” she whispered.

“Honey…I will always be here for you. I will always pick up.”

“I knew that…deep down.” Clarke sniffed.

“Good. I would never abandon you like that… I might be mad and hurt, but you should know that I love you. And I know you are going to finish this. You are that good sweetie…” Abby paused. “God damn it Jake, I will kick your ass when I come up there. You made her like this and you left, leaving me to do all of the heavy stuff.”

“Mom…where are you?” Clarke asked.

“I’m at the cemetery Clarke. He heard us all right. “ Abby chuckled with the heaviness of the constant sorrow, but also hope that everything is going to be fine. Clarke wiped again the tears that were running freely again.

“I dreamt about him last night.” she sniffed again.

“Really? What was it about?” 

“It was so strange…He was here, in his uniform. He took me through this maze, he wouldn’t even touch me or talk to me. At the end of it he pointed to my instructor, Captain Woods. He smiled at her and she nodded. And then he disappeared.”

“Interesting…What is she like?” Abby asked.

“She is…well, she is everything I would like to be one day. She is professional but also caring and compassionate. Ugh…I don’t really know. I’ve known her for four days.” Clarke laughed at that. Four fucking days and she was falling for her. There was a pause, like Abby sensed that Clarke was lost in her thoughts. 

“It sounds to me that he found the right person to look after you.” Abby whispered. 

“Hah…I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. Time will tell.” There was a long pause again, both of them deep in their thoughts. 

“Clarke…” Abby said finally. “Call me again. Whenever. If it’s in the middle of the night, so be it. Call me. I’ll pick up. “

“Thanks Mom…”

“I love you sweetie.”

“Love you too.” 

 

With that Clarke ended the call feeling so much lighter. Was it because she finally cried and let everything out, was it because she spoke with her mother normally again, was it because her mother maybe solved her dream mystery, she didn’t know? But she felt better, much more than before and she stood up with newfound vigor in her steps, heading towards the dorms. She needed to take a nap. 

 

After the dinner, she walked back with Octavia, Raven and Harper. Rest of the group had basketball match lined up with some guys from the base, so they were left alone for the evening.

“What do you want to do tonight? Movie at our room? Maybe some gaming?” Raven asked.

“I ate so fucking much, I think I’m going to explode.” Octavia commented.

“I would like to play some games.” Harper answered Raven.

“Ok then…Clarke? Up for some ass kicking in Counter Strike?” 

“Are you really going to play that?” Clarke questioned with smile on her face. 

“Yo, it’s a classic.” Raven defended and Harper nodded. 

“I’m down. I just need to relax a bit.” Octavia agreed to gaming night.

“I’ll skip. I think I’m going to go for some night swimming.” Clarke settled it, and when they reached the dorm they split up. Clarke went to her room to change and take her stuff while the rest of the girls went into gaming room. 

 

 

After taking everything she needed, Clarke headed downstairs to the pool, passing Tris, girl that was stationed at the entrance, just like Aden. When she walked in, there were several people swimming, but it was far from overcrowded. She thanked god silently for that, because she liked to swim alone. She was an excellent swimmer, but she didn’t like to watch over every single time, trying not to hit someone or getting into someone’s lane. She left her towel and shirt and shorts on the bench near the pool, taking her flip lops off. She stood at the edge of the pool, looking at the blue water shimmering under the lights. Her toes were already submerged and she could feel that the water had the right temperature. She slowly got some water in her palms, splashing it on her body, trying to adjust as much as possible before jumping in. When she felt like she preped enough she raised her arms above her head and jumped straight in, her body creating flawless, straight as arrow, shape.   
She dove in, opening her eyes, swimming underwater, waiting for that sweet pain in her lungs. When she felt like she could use some fresh air she emerged from the water, now being almost at the middle of the pool. She continued to swim, back and forth, not really looking around. She was in her own world. Her muscles started to hurt and burn in all of right places, and she had that masochistic trade. She would push herself even further then. So she swam, relentlessly. After some time she stopped at the middle of the pool, looking around, realizing she was alone. She smiled and laid on her back, floating around, looking at the sealing, lost in her thoughts. Was her mother onto something? Her dream was confusing, but after thinking about it, she could see it. He wasn’t there to help her and guide her. So he picked Lexa up to do the job instead of him. She smiled at the thought of it. Her dad was ok with Lexa. She opened her eyes, taking few deep breaths. When she was satisfied she dove down, all the way to the bottom, sitting with her legs bended in the knees.   
She opened her eyes and tried to steady herself as much as she could. She wanted to bring her heart rate down, clam her body and she learned this back in Washington DC. She sat down there for a long period of time. Her best score was five minutes, but now, she was down there for maybe three. Until she felt something got into the water behind her. She didn’t even get to turn around when muscled arms got a hold of her, pushing her to the surface. When she emerged from the water, she shook her head.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she shouted to the person behind her.

“Me?? What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you trying to drown down there?” 

Clarke recognized this voice. It was that voice that she liked to listen, stern but also filled with emotions only Clarke seemed to hear. She turned around seeing Captain Woods behind her wide eyed, her long brown hair slicked back, falling over her naked shoulders.

“Griffin, I’m waiting for a good explanation. I saw you and I waited and waited, but you never emerged back. “ Lexa said, winded a bit. 

“I was calming my heart rate.” Clarke answered smiling.

“What? Calming it all the way to no rate.” Lexa sassed back and Clarke laughed.

“ I was going to come out eventually…” she said.

“Yeah…fuck that. I don’t want to see you doing this shit again.”

“But I was ok.”

“Yes, but look around you. You are alone. God forbid something did happen, your dead ass would be at the bottom of this pool until morning.”

“You sound so dramatic…” Clarke commented smirking slightly, swimming past Lexa towards the ladders.

“I sound sane and responsible.” Lexa retorted following Clarke. Clarke got out, giving Lexa full view of her back side in her black two piece swimming suite. Lexa watched Clarke strut over to the bench taking her towel, excessively swaying her hips, and unnecessary slowly wiping her body.   
She waited for Clarke to turn around. Well, two can play this game. When Clarke finally turned around, expecting to see Lexa maybe drooling, she was hit by this vision that could be easily the last one on this earth for her. Lexa was coming out of the pool, her long muscled arms tightly gripping the bars, giving Clarke nice view of her arm tattoo. Who is drooling now? She got out slowly, or so Clarke thought, time really slowed down for her. Lexa was wearing also two peace swimming suite, royal blue color did miracles against her tanned flawless skin. Her abs were almost visible, long legs, that looked like they were sculpted. Clarke didn’t know where to look. Lexa saw Clarke’s reaction and she smirked. She purposely turned around, granting Clarke another great view of her back tattoo that stood on muscled back. Lexa scooped up her hair, trying to squeeze as much water as she can out of it, conveniently leaning forward slightly, bending in the middle, giving Clarke the final act of this show. Her fucking perfect ass. 

Clarke forgot her name, what day is it, honestly where she was. Heaven? Ok, sounds about right. Lexa turned towards her, walking slowly in her direction and Clarke was sure she would die now. Fuck it, it’s not the worst way to go. Lexa walked pass her, brushing their shoulders slightly, almost undetectably. But Clarke felt it, she felt it like someone put lit up torch against her skin. Lexa wrapped herself in towel, looking at shocked Clarke.

“Griffin, are you all right.” Lexa asked, getting closer to Clarke. Blonde just snorted, and nodded.

“Yes…peachy.” she muttered and proceeded with drying herself.

“Good. How was today?” Lexa asked and Clarke snapped back to reality. That was all she needed to get that angry Clarke back. She knew that she told Costia things about her.

“It wasn’t as good as I expected. I might not pass.” Clarke wanted to play a game with Lexa.

“What? How come?” Lexa dropped the act and was genuinely worried upon hearing the news.

“Well, apparently you said to her that I was disobedient stubborn ass, and now she thinks that I am not able to follow through.” Clarke answered.

“I never said that…” Lexa almost whispered, pain written all over her face. Clarke recoiled then. She just wanted to have some fun, but Lexa seemed worried beyond her expectations.

“I might exaggerated a little…” Clarke tried to undo this mess. “She said I have to come again. To talk some more.” Lexa just nodded absentmindedly, she still looked like someone told her that she destroyed everything. 

“Hey..” Clarke tried to get her attention, grabbing her arm gently. “It’ll be fine. I’ll pass.” Lexa look at her, and she looked like a lost and kicked puppy at the same time. She nodded again.

“I know.” Lexa smiled. “You are too good not to.” Clarke smiled back, but again, she remembered that Costia is way too close to Lexa, and with her childish infatuation with Lexa, she really ought to step away. On top of it, she remembered her dream again, and what could that possibly mean. She collected her things quickly, Lexa stood behind her not really knowing what she did. 

“I’m cold, and it would be smart to change into something else.” Clarke offered this as a reason, and Lexa just rolled her eyes. That was a big ass lie. It was 100 degrees here.

“All right Griffin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” she had her captain voice on again, and Clarke wanted to kick herself, because that voice always stirred something inside of her. She just nodded sheepishly and muttered her goodbye, exiting out, getting straight to her room. She needed to shower. With cold water. Ice cold water. Seeing Lexa like that was something she was endlessly grateful for, but at the same time it was a curse. For now, she’ll take it and cherish it, and evoke it every time she feels like it. And now she felt like it.

 

 

Next day was their last, in terms of testing and evaluating. They all felt bit relieved that this part was almost over, and soon enough they will do what they thought were best at. Flying. 

But, the truth was that they had a long way to go until they are seated in a jet, being all alone in it, making decisions. They were all seated again in hangar 8, waiting for their instructors to come and inform them about this day and what lies ahead. Clarke was doodling something in her notebook, Raven and Octavia were in the middle of a thumb war, and Harper sat next to Monty, smiling about something he just said. Rest of the group was scattered around the hangar, doing their respective things, getting slightly bored.

“Coming.” Murphy shouted when he spotted their instructors approaching hangar, and all of them took their seats, waiting for Captains to come in. When they did, everybody stood up and saluted them, sitting back on their seats when three of them saluted them back.

“All right people, today is your last day of testing, so I presume you are happy about that.” Anya said and looked at the bunch sitting in front of her. They all nodded and smiled. 

“Good. Because, today is going to be the hardest day here yet.” she said and their smiles faltered, looking amongst themselves. Clarke sneaked a glance towards Lexa that was already looking at her pointedly, expectedly even. What was this about, Clarke asked herself?

“Today, you will have good old school test. Pen and paper. Answers, correct ones are expected. We will assess your knowledge in cockpit instruments, emergency protocol regarding ejector seat and all that…you know, the basics.” she smirked after that, because she knew that lot of candidates fell on this test, thinking they know it all, remember it all. But they don’t. And they had to know everything like alphabet, from beginning to an end, and back. She took papers and landed the pile on Ravens table.

“Sharing is caring.” she winked at her and Raven started to spread papers to her peers, looking mortified. She didn’t study. That inner nerd woke up and she was on the verge of a panic attack. She knew that this was all in her head, all the information’s, she was always the best at this things, but today, she felt fear. She wasn’t even sure if her name was Raven Reyes.

When all of them had their copy of test, Lexa stood up and slowly walked between the rows, looking at Clarke second longer. When she reached the back of the rows, she stopped, turning around.

“Only thing you will have on your desk’s are papers and one pen. Water, sunglasses, phones, hats, everything OFF the table. NOW.” she shouted and commotion started. After the desks were cleared she strolled back to their big desk, checking if everyone listened and cleared their shit. After she nodded to Anya, she took her seat again, looking at Clarke one last time. 

“Ok people. You have three hours. When you finish, you will turn your paper in, getting back to your seat. No one leaves until last of you is done.”

“This is a load of crap…like we are taking ASAT’s all over again…” Finn muttered, and Anya had enough of him. She quickly walked over to his table, slamming both of her hands on it, looking him dead in the eyes. 

“I’ve had it up to here with you Collins. We are about to put your sorry asses into Raptors that cost more than you can count, and excuse me if I just want to double check can you operate this little thing called jet.” he looked back at her semi annoyed and semi completely terrified. He nodded silently.

“Now, if you are done being smartasses, please…Show us how smart you are, so you can finally sit your asses into the jets.” she walked back to the table where Lincoln and Lexa sat.

“Your time starts now. Good luck.”

They turned their papers over, seeing they were filled with text and diagrams, now thinking that three hours is not enough time to complete this. Anya was sitting on the desk looking at Finn, not taking her eyes off of him. If he so much slightly moved to readjust, she would tilt her head still looking at him, like she was saying ‘Don’t you even dare.’.

 

Minutes were like seconds, or so Clarke thought. She barely passed half of the test when Anya announced that first hour was up. Slight panic seeped up, and she started to sweat. It was balls to the walls situation and she tried to do her best, but the second half of the test was even more fucked up than the first half, and she was starting to question how big error margin for this thing was. Lexa was still looking literally everywhere else accept her, and she started to get angry because of that. One more whiplash like this, and she would put Lexa on her spot, damned be Top Gun and all. She resumed reading and working, not seeing Lexa looking at her for the uptenth time today, watching over her, her face ridden with want to help the blonde. Raven was in her own world, recalling all of the information that were stored somewhere in the back of her mind, writing her answers down. Octavia chewed on her pen, thinking about possible solution for this particular diagram, and Finn was sweating bullets by now. Anya was still watching him like a hawk, and he could feel her gaze on him. Murphy and Wells looked like they were pretty sure they knew most of the answers, while Bellamy scratched his head excessively. Jasper and Monty wanted to help each other somehow, but after the first attempt and slight cough from Lincoln, they dropped that idea. They were all alone in this, solely relying on their knowledge. 

“Five more minutes.” Anya’s voice made Clarke jump a little. Time was running so fast, and Clarke knew she had some questions left unanswered. She quickly tried to scribble something and make the best of it, hoping everything else would be enough for her to pass. 

“Stop. Pens down, turn your papers.” Anya said, and almost everybody got up, their faces pale and sweaty. 

“Jones, what I just said?” Anya shouted to Jasper who was still trying to write something. “Papers, NOW.” After that, Jasper stood up and smiled sheepishly to Anya, but received annoyed look in response. 

“All of you. Later today we will tell you who passed, and who is about to pack their bags.” Lexa and Lincoln got up, taking the tests, putting them on pile. Anya took the pile and saluted them. 

“I hope you raised to the occasion.” And with that, three of them walked outside of the hangar, leaving the group speechless. 

 

Those were most unsettling hours Clarke ever spent in her entire life. Not knowing will she pass, or her peers for that matter. She had different expectations coming here, but at the end she really didn’t know what was she expecting. They are here, trying to become best of the best. I guess best of the best needed to know all of that shit they had on the test today. Was she able to be best of the best? She really didn’t know. 

Girls were in Ravens and Harpers room, trying to pass the time, but at the moment each and one of them was silent, deep into their thoughts. Harper watched them, they were on the verge of the mental break down.

“So…Plans for tomorrow? Still not changed?” she asked looking at Raven.

“Oh yes… tomorrow I will drink my face off. I don’t care about anything anymore, I’m done with this shit.” Raven stood up, clearly shaken. “I think I got some greys during this week. Fuck that. I’m too young and hot to have grey hairs.” 

Octavia stood up, looking at Ravens hair, her face dead serious.

“Oh my…I think you are right.” 

“What the…” Raven run into the bathroom, looking at her still flawlessly brown hair, craning her neck to the left and right, to see better. She heard laughter from the room, and she stepped outside looking at Octavia who sported her adorable smile, tilting her head while looking at Raven.

“You are so gullible.” Clarke commented and checked her watch. “Ladies…it’s time.” 

Harper and Clarke got up and they looked at each other.

“Let’s do this shit.” Raven said and they went outside.

 

 

Sitting there again was almost surreal. Maybe this was the last time they will ever sit here. Maybe today was the day their dreams fall apart. Maybe her father can send some god awful storm upon them, fucking this shit up. Wait, what? Clarke scrunched up her nose at the thought. Get it together Griffin.  
Anya came in first, Lexa and Lincoln behind her talking about something. She dropped papers on the desk looking them all.

“All right people, moment of truth is here. First of all I have to say, that this group here is surprising me more and more each day.” They all smiled, suddenly feeling hopeful that they all passed.

“I know what you are thinking. You hope everyone passed. Unfortunately, that is not the case.” Clarke felt nauseated. Who failed? Raven? Octavia? Maybe her…

“We will hand you your files, and you will see everything. How you did on your tests, and for those who failed…You will see why you failed...” she, Lexa and Lincoln started to disperse, handing each of them their file. Lexa handed the file to Clarke, tapping it once with her long index finger, her face unreadable. 

Clarke quickly opened the folder, seeing big green letters that spelled PASS. She exhaled, feeling like she was floating, weightless. She smiled so widely, her face was about to split up, and first person she looked at was Lexa. Lexa smirked slightly and nodded slowly, like she was telling her ‘I told you so.’. 

She turned around and saw Raven and Octavia in pretty much same state she was in. They almost screamed and hugged each other. Lincoln smiled when he saw Octavia almost climbing on Raven, hugging her tightly. 

“Yes sir. That is how it’s done.” Bellamy shouted with his fist high. Murphy behind him fist bumped him, smirking. Harper joined other girls, laughing. 

“Can I get a P, can I get an A, can…” Finn started shouting.

“We get it Collins, you passed.” Anya shouted back rolling her eyes.

Clarke felt light tap on her shoulder and when she turned back she saw Wells smiling at her, but his eyes weren’t. 

“We did it Wells… God fucking damn it...”

“Language Griffin...” Anya piped up and Clarke just nodded. 

“Yeah, you did it Clarke…Just like I told you.” Wells commented and Clarke got this feeling that everything is not ok. 

“Wells…”

“My eyes. I’m not 20/20 anymore…” he shrugged looking at her.

“Wha…How…I…What?” Clarke muttered. 

“It was bound to happen. I was barely on the edge last time I got tested. I knew this day would come. “

“But this means…”

“I can’t be a fighter pilot anymore.” he nodded and Clarke hugged him again tightly, her face getting wet from tears.

“Wells…I’m so so sorry.” she buried her face in his neck.

“Don’t be Clarke…I had a blast. I’ll find something else. Military is quite big.” he consoled her even though it was he who needed to be consoled.

“I just can’t believe it…” she looked at him. “I will miss you like crazy. You are my best friend…”

“I heard that Clarke.” Octavia added and Clarke subtly flipped her off.

“Well, I’m not the only one…” he motioned with his head over to Monty and Jasper. They both failed. Jasper failed on G force test and Monty failed his physical test. They sat next to each other, Harper hugging Monty, whispering something to him. 

“I can’t believe it…” Clarke shook her head, she really couldn’t believe it. 

“And Collins passed…Motherfucker…” Raven said also shaking her head.

“All right everybody, take your seats.” Lexa said and they took their previous seats, looking at her. “Congratulations to all of you who passed.” she looked at Clarke briefly. “For those of you who failed…Don’t get discouraged. You are brilliant military man that this country is so proud to have. Held your heads high, and excel in different fields. We will always think of you as fighter pilots.”

 

Harper wiped the tears that were pouring down her face and Murphy patted both Jasper and Monty on the back. He started to grow on them, since he wasn’t that much of a creep everybody thought he was. 

“You are dismissed. We will see the rest of you on Monday.” Lexa announced and everybody got up. 

“Jordan, Green. Come with me.” Anya called them and they looked at each other, but still went over to Anya. They started talking about something, Monty and Jasper looking at Anya wide eyed.

Lexa and Lincoln took the turn of congratulating them individually, smiling and nodding. Octavia couldn’t control herself and she hugged Lincoln that was so taken aback at that moment, he looked like a teenage boy. Lexa went over to Clarke, reaching out with her hand for the blonde girl to shake.

“Nicely done Griffin. I had no doubt you would pass.” she smiled and Clarke returned her smile.

“I’m not out of the woods yet….Remember, I have to pass psychological evaluation that is still ongoing.” 

“I hope you never get out of woods…” Lexa commented and smirked and Clarke’s face was like a stone. Did she heard that right? Lexa went over to Lincoln and resumed talking to him, giving one more glance to Clarke, her smirk never getting of her face.

“I can’t take this anymore…” Clarke whispered feeling that really, she couldn’t play around with Lexa like this. She will kiss her. She will fuck her. She will marry that woman, so help her god.

 

 

It was Saturday finally, and their weekend could start. Today, they had planned out almost whole day. They will hit the town of Fallon, that was barely a town, but still, got some bars, shops and places they could walk to and spend their day.   
They had a late lunch in local restaurant, and they hit shops, looking for some domestic attire. Clarke ended up buying gayest plaid shirt that she tied around her hips. Octavia bought some cowboy boots, and Raven counteracted by buying a cowboy hat. Harper wasn’t feeling as happy as the other girls, since Monty didn’t make the cut. What will that do on their new, young relationship, she couldn’t tell. All she wanted to do now was drink. A lot.

“Guy’s, can we finally hit the bar? “ she moaned and the rest of them laughed at her.

“Yes Harps, let’s go. Let’s get shit faced. Woo hooo” Octavia shouted and pulled Harper to come with her, Clarke and Raven behind them. 

“I hope you are ready Clarke, drinks are on you.”

“First round or two are on me…Looking at two of them, I’m not sure this bar has enough alcohol.” 

“One way to find out…”

They got into this dodgy bar, that was poorly lit, smoke was everywhere. Couple of pool tables in the back, long wooden bar and a massive guy behind it. They sat at the bar and the man nodded, smiling slightly.

“Ladies…what can I get you?” he asked.

“Four shots of tequila.” Raven answered and he laughed.

“Coming right up.” he poured them tequila, placing their shots in front of them. 

“All right chickas…We made it. Cheers to that.” Raven announced and they downed their shots like pros. Raven motioned with her hand that they will have another round, and man poured them some more. They raised their glasses and downed it again. Now, they took beers. It should be fine, right. 

“What brings you here ladies?” man asked Clarke and she wasn’t the one who usually liked to talk to bartenders, but this man, even though he looked like he could snap them in half, had a spark in his eyes that made them look so nice and approachable. 

“We have a weekend off, so we thought, we should relax a bit…”

“Weekend off? Where do you work?” 

“We are from the base.” Clarke cleared up. 

“Oooh, military girls….I have to say I’m honored. This round is on me.” he smiled and Octavia hollered. 

“Thank’s…” Clarke smiled back.

“So, what are you doing here?… I mean the base.”

“We are in Top Gun program.”

“Oh my god…Pilots, non the less. You look like angels, I should’ve guessed.” 

“Sweet talker.” Raven winked at him and he laughed again. 

“I know how it sounds, but really…all the girls that I know that are pilots here on the base, they look like angels.” He explained. “But you should be careful…such beautiful ladies, pilots, here, alone…Our local guy’s will hit up on you soon.”

“And what are you doing right now?” Harper asked smirking. 

“I am a married man, happily if I might add.” he looked like he was offended, but still smiling. 

“She is a lucky woman.” Harper piped. 

“That she is…I’m Gustus, and if you need anything, please, let me know. I mean it. If somebody is bothering you, just tell me. I will show them the way out.”

“Thank’s Gus, you are the man.” Raven smiled at him.

“No problem.” he winked. They took their drinks and sat by the near table, resuming their chat and laughter. Bar was getting fuller, people coming after their shifts, drinking, laughing, talking, playing pool and darts. Music started playing, and the bar didn’t look that bad after all. Gustus was a gem, Clarke thought, people are nice, for now, and they were getting buzzed. 

 

She heard the door chime went off and she absentmindedly turned over, not really caring who it was. But, that changed. She saw Captain Woods and Forrest coming in, smiling and talking. Lexa had a plain black t shirt that looked washed up, her hair in a high pony tail, her legs clad in skinny jeans that hugged her perfect ass so good, Clarke thought, it was a sin. Anya looked pretty much the same, only she wore grey t shirt and some low boots. They looked so different like this, in normal clothes. They looked like regular girls, that had regular jobs. They walked over to Gustus, greeting him with wide smiles, never seeing the girls that sat couple of tables across. Gustus told Lexa something and motioned over to their table. Anya and Lexa turned around in unison, seeing four girls smiling at them. Raven waived for them to come, and Clarke almost died. 

“What are you doing?” she asked almost whispering. 

“Whaaat…they have a weekend off too. Let’s have a girls night out.” Raven shrugged it off. Lexa and Anya approached them with beers in their hands, and Clarke looked at Lexa feeling like this night will be her end. Lexa changed her demeanor all together. No sign of that sturdy captain, her face was adorned with a small smile.

“Ladies, can we join you?” she asked looking at Clarke who just nodded.

“Please…come sit.” Raven called and Anya and Lexa sat down.

“What are you up to Reyes?” Anya asked smiling.

“We are getting hammered tonight. It is well deserved” she answered and Anya nodded.

“Well deserved indeed. You did great girls.” she raised her glass and saluted them.

It was tight now, all six of them sitting at one table and Lexa’s leg was constantly touching Clarke’s. She was aware of that, but Lexa didn’t do anything to move her leg. She leaned towards Clarke.

“I hope you don’t mind having us join you?” she asked.

“Not at all… the more the merrier.” Clarke shook her head and smiled.

“Good.” Lexa smirked and nodded. 

 

They talked and laughed, exchanging stories from their past bases, Anya talking about some past pilots that were in the program. They had another round of beer, except Lexa, who was still on her first one. 

“You are too slow.” Clarke commented motioning over to her glass.

“I like it slow.” Lexa answered, and Clarke felt something pulling in her lower stomach. 

“You need to stop that.” she said to Lexa.

“What?”

“You know what…” Clarke retorted looking Lexa straight in the eyes. Lexa smirked and nodded, her leg still touching Clarke’s.

“So, have you come up with your code names yet?” Anya asked them and they looked at each other.

“Actually, no…I guess, we will do that tonight.” Raven exclaimed. 

“That is a smart idea…” Clarke laughed. 

“But first, how did you get your names? We know Woods here is Heda. What’s yours?” Raven asked and Anya rolled her eyes wile Lexa laughed.

“Now that, is an interesting story…” Lexa said.

“No it’s not.” Anya piped. 

“You see….We were in the same group, just like you are. But rules were bit different back then. We already had our code names, but we could change them. So, one day, Anya and I were flying with the rest of them, and had a little…You could call it a race. I won, so I am Heda. Anya lost, so her name is…” she looked pointedly to Anya.

“My code name is Second. All right….happy?” she asked, but Raven, Octavia and Harper laughed their asses off.

‘Oh my good…This is too good.” Raven said.

“Watch it Reyes…” Anya mockingly threatened her.

“Now, let’s hear yours.” Lexa wanted to see what name Clarke would choose.

“Now, wait…we should make this more interesting. You will pick each others names. I think that is fair enough.” Anya offered.

“Fuck yeah.” Octavia shouted, and Clarke just shook her head.

“No way…Your drunk ass will pick something stupid and embarrassing. NO WAY” Clarke said, pouting a bit which made Lexa’s hart swell even more.

“Ok, we will be the voice of reason here. If we find it stupid or inappropriate, we will veto it.” Lexa said.

“I don’t trust you…” Clarke snapped and Lexa laughed again, throaty and deep, and Clarke again felt something stir inside of her.

“It’s settled. We are doing it.” Octavia concluded. Anya got up and went to Gustus, coming back with four small papers and a pen.

“I will write your names here, and you will pick one. Who you pick, you can give them their code name. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.” Raven nodded.

“Ok guys, but seriously. This will be our code name throughout our career’s. Don’t get stupid.” Clarke warned.

“Stop being a mom Clarke, have some fun.” Harper told her.

“Fuck you Harper. I would like to see you ten years from now telling others your code name is Stripper, just because drunk Raven told you so.” Anya and Lexa laughed at that, and Octavia spat her drink.

“Clarke…I would never name her that. That’s more yours.” Raven told her, and Lexa looked at Clarke pointedly, raising a brow. Clarke could feel her cheeks burning now.

“Whatever…Let’s get this over with.” she piped out. Anya wrote the names, folded the papers so they couldn’t detect which one is which. She put them on the middle of the table, and each of them picked one. Clarke opened hers, and read Octavia’s name. She smirked devilishly.

“Ok girls, do you need some time to think about it?” Anya sked.

“Oh no, I got mine.” Clarke said.

“Me too.” Raven added.

“Yep…let’s do this.” Octavia nodded.

“All set.” Harper said.

“All right…let’s hear it. Who wants to go first?” Lexa asked.

“I’ll go...” Clarke said. “I got Octavia.” she showed her paper.

“Watch it Griffin…”Octavia threatened. 

“Octavia…your code name will be….” she paused for dramatic effect. “Waterbug.”

Raven and Harper started laughing , and Octavia was ready to kill Clarke. 

“No fucking way. Veto it.” She said to Anya and Lexa. Anya whispered something to Lexa, and Lexa just nodded.

“We want to hear the reason why you chose this name.” Lexa told Clarke.

“Because it is so hard to make her get into the shower.” Clarke said and Raven almost choked on her beer.

“Fuck you Clarke, that is not true.” Octavia protested.

“I’m afraid it is…” Harper said.

“Then…It’s a go. Octavia Blake, your code name is Waterbug.” Anya concluded and Clarke and Raven high fived. 

“Next one.” Lexa urged.

“I got Harper, just like Clarke said.” Raven said. “But, I will not call you Striper, don’t worry. “

“This better be god Raven.” Harper told her.

“Your code name will be… Mockingbird.” she announced.

“God damn it Raven, I love it.” Harper said. Since she was ok with it, Anya and Lexa didn’t intervene. 

“FUCK you Griffin…I can’t believe this…” Octavia shouted.

“Come on…who you got?” Anya asked. 

“I got Raven…” she showed her paper. “Oh, I’m going to fuck you up so good….your name is….Fishhead.” she announced and Clarke laughed now. 

“Reasons?” Lexa asked.

“Oh, I got reasons…I will not be the only one with fucked up code name. And plus, she likes to drown in the pussy.” Octavia added and Anya started coughing. 

“I’ll take it. This motherfucker is right. I will be her wing man. I’ll take the burden.” Raven raised her glass. “Fuck it.”

“You are a good sport Reyes.” Lexa said.

“You know it.”

“Ok, so that leaves Harper and Clarke.” Anya motioned between them. “What you got?”

“Griffin…your code name will be Wanheda.” Harper said. 

“Wanheda…I like it.” And Clarke really did. Plus, it sounded almost like Lexa’s.

“So it is settled then. You have your code names now. Congratulations.” Lexa raised her glass, and they all cheered. She clang her glass against Clarkes.

“Wanheda…” she raised her brow.

“Heda.” Clarke smirked and saluted with the rest of them. 

 

After some time, they decided it was time for some pool, and they went over to the table that was free. Clarke said from the beginning she wasn’t going to play, since she sucks at it, so she will just watch. Harper was the one that sat this game out, waiting for the rotation. But Clarke now had much better view of Lexa, her long arms and fingers, leaning over the table, trying to hit the ball just right. She stopped drinking, and she took some water, so her buzz was wearing off quickly. Oddly enough, she wanted to be sober around Lexa. She really didn’t trust herself. 

First game was finished, Lexa and Octavia beating Raven and Anya. Lexa approached Harper, giving her the stick.

“I’ll take a break now.” Harper took the stick and went on playing, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone. Lexa leaned on the wall next to Clarke, so close to her, but still not touching her.

“You play really good.” Clarke complimented Lexa, and brunette just smiled.

“Thanks…Practice.” she said and shrugged. 

“Maybe you could teach me some day?” Clarke looked at Lexa, feeling strong pull towards her instructor.

“Maybe I will.” Lexa retorted smirking slightly.

They stood there in silence, watching rest of the girls play and shout at each other. Muchacho by Kings of Leon started to play, and Lexa perked up.

“I love this song…”she said. “Dance with me.” she reached for Clarke and blonde took her hand, feeling under the spell all of the sudden. 

“Ok…”

 

They rounded the corner, getting away from the rest of the group, taking small space that wasn’t a dance floor, but Lexa made it one. She pulled Clarke closer, resting her right hand on the small of Clarke’s back, left one held Clarke’s hand. Clarke had her arm draped over Lexa’s neck, and they were again so close to each other, she could feel her skin burning. They swayed slowly, and Clarke was slightly shorter then Lexa, so she spoke directly into her neck, which made Lexa’s skin crawl.

“Isn’t this dangerous… Two girls dancing like this. In a dodgy bar.” Clarke almost whispered.

“No…Gustus is as supportive as one could get. If someone told us anything, he would have thrown their ass out of here.” Lexa reassured Clarke. 

 

They were still so close, and everything around them was like a movie scene. Badly lit bar, people chatting, not even minding two hot girls dancing with each other. Music was low, and Lexa’s smell was intoxicating. Clarke could feel she wasn’t drunk, but with Lexa this close, her mind was swirling, her thoughts were scattered all around. She felt Lexa pulling her even closer, their bodies now flush. She felt like she was in some kind of haze, like rest of the world didn’t existed.   
All she could see and feel was Lexa, so close to her, her skin smooth and soft, her muscled arms around Clarke, pulling closer and closer. Lexa’s perfume mixed with Lexa’s natural smell, it was like a drug. She looked up to Lexa who was looking her back, their breaths intertwining, lips slightly apart. Clarke looked at her lips and back into her eyes, and Lexa understood. She leaned a little, leaving to Clarke to match her movement if she wanted, and Clarke never wanted anything more than this, in her entire life. She raised her head slowly and kissed Lexa, feeling her warm lips on her own. It was like she transcended this dimension and traveled to another one. Lexa kissed her back, slowly and softly grazing Clarke’s lower lip with her teeth. That elicited uncontrollable moan from Clarke, and she kissed Lexa harder, their lips colliding stronger. Lexa groaned and her tongue went across Clarkes lip, sending Clarke into a spiral. She opened her lips more, granting Lexa entrance that brunette accepted.  
Their tongues danced around each other, slowly, oh so slowly. Song changed, and now Way down we go by Kaleo filled the bar. How appropriate. Clarke was going down into this rabbit hole, and she was happy about it. She would follow Lexa wherever. Like she could read her mind, Lexa slowly broke this steamy kiss, looking Clarke in the eyes, her green eyes now almost black. Tension between them was palpable, and Lexa whispered to her ear like she didn’t want to break this moment by raising her voice.

 

 

“You wanna get out of here?” Lexa asked.

 

“Yes.”


	5. Enter the danger zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, and Marry belated Christmas and Happy New Year, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you were celebrating, I hope you had a wonderful time!!! Wishing you all the best!!
> 
> Now, I apologize for this long and unexpected hiatus I took. I know, it was long, but I got a job thing that I had to do, then I took a trip to Prague and it was amazing, and then, off course I got sick, fever and all that jazz.   
> But, now I’m back, ready to continue with this story. 
> 
> So, as a piece offering, I give you a chapter that was 99 percent Clexa, since I ended that last one rather…cliffhangerish?  
> I hope you will like it, since this was a first time I wrote something like this.
> 
> As always, I’m looking forward to your comments, and I hope not all of you gave up on this story.

Clarke wasn’t quite sure how they arrived here, she was positive that time and space warped into itself that moment when she felt Lexa’s lips on her own. All she knew now is that her back was firmly pressed against more than welcomed hard and cold wall, her hands were trapped inside long and lush silky brown hair and her breath was somewhere between her swollen lips and Lexa’s eager ones, slightly apart, breathing as heavily as she did. Green eyes looked at her with utmost adoration and lust, and Clarke felt that her knees were giving up on her. She squeezed her hands into fists, and with that welcomed much needed sound coming from Lexa, a guttural growl that made wonders to Clarke’s body. Their lips clashed again, kisses bartering between sloppy and wet and hard and soul consuming, in seconds. She unlaced her fingers from Lexa’s hair, only to use them to explore rest of Lexa’s body. Clarke would from time to time buck her hips upwards, involuntarily, her body had a mind of it’s on right now, and she really couldn’t care less. Lexa still kissed her with same vigor and want, giving, showing how much she desired and wanted Clarke, and Clarke never felt like this. It was raw, animalistic, they didn’t care about anything and anyone, they were alone in this world, and everything they ever wanted is right in front of them. Lexa’s lips parted with Clarke’s and she couldn’t stop her small pout appearing, receiving that fucking smug, but oh so hot smirk from Lexa. She latched herself onto Clarke’s neck, kissing gently, and then sucking hard, soothing every future bruise with swift lick of her tongue. Lexa could feel that Clarke’s skin was almost burning, and she took a pride in that, but she was adamant about taking this slow. Or as slowly as possible. She controlled herself for five days, and that was five days too long in her book. She loved the taste Clarke’s skin had, she couldn’t get enough of it, combined with blonde’s scent, she was sure she was on a verge of madness, and if that was what it takes to fell and taste Clarke, she would gladly sign up for it. 

“Lexa…” Clarke croaked, her voice was husky from all of the desire and pent up sexual frustration, she felt like she was thirsty long enough for Lexa. And now, when she was almost at the spring, her lifeline, everything was so slow and she needed them to speed up. 

“Mhm….” Lexa hummed into Clarke’s neck, and Clarke felt it vibrating inside of her.

“Bed…please.” Clarke muttered, her voice vanishing by each passing second into oblivion. Lexa felt the same way, so she swiftly picked up Clarke, firmly squeezing her backside, sending jolts up Clarke’s body. She wrapped her legs tightly around Lexa, steadying herself by Lexa’s shoulders. 

“Fuck me...” Clarke whispered, more like a reaction to what was happening at the moment, but Lexa saw a perfect opportunity.

“Eager much?” she whispered into Clarke’s neck and Clarke could feel that smug smirk up against her skin that kept prickling each time Lexa’s breath touched it. She rolled her eyes at this remark, but corners of her lips went slightly upward. Lexa almost teleported them into the bedroom, or so Clarke thought so, she couldn’t quite grasp the reality, because this was much more better than reality could ever be. 

Room was dark, but moonlight was creeping in from large window pane on the far side of the room, facing the bed. Lexa gently laid Clarke on the bed, recoiling back and Clarke was sure that this was a dream. She only saw Lexa’s black silhouette, almost bluish glow around her. Clarke laid on the bed, propped up on her elbows looking mesmerized at Lexa, her mouth slightly open in disbelief. Lexa could see Clarke clearly, and suddenly she became scared. Blondes face was anything but inviting at this moment.

“If you want to stop, please say so. I don’t want you to regret this…” Lexa almost whispered, praying at the same time that Clarke is still wanting this as much as she wants. Clarke slightly shook her head, and Lexa’s heart dropped. 

“I’m….I’m gonna ask you this once.” Clarke retorted and Lexa nodded urging her to continue. 

“Is…Is this real? I’m not dreaming?” Clarke asked and Lexa giggled, shaking her head. She slowly pealed her t shirt, never giving Clarke audible answer she was looking for. Lexa was now in her bra and jeans, tattoo on her arm visible, and Clarke’s mind started spinning again. Lexa carefully reached with her hand towards Clarke caressing her collar bone, tracing her pulse point with long fingers, feeling blondes breath getting shallow and faster.

“Do you feel this?” Lexa asked, never leaving Clarkes eyes. Clarke nodded, her eyes now hooded and almost tired looking, but she was far from tired. Lexa continued tracing Clarke’s skin further, now her finger was on Clarke’s lower lip, feeling it burning up.

“And this?” Lexa asked again, her face getting closer to Clarke’s.

“Yes.” Clarke breathed out.

“Then…you know that this is real.” Lexa was now almost above Clarke, her hands on each side of her face, thumbs caressing her lips and neck.

“Then I never want it to stop…” Clarke said and leaned in for a kiss. It started slow, Lexa somehow found herself sitting on top of Clarke’s legs, her arms around blondes neck, while Clarke used this position to pull Lexa closer, as much as she could, feeling Lexa’s back muscles, getting even more aroused each time she felt them at her fingertips. Lexa traced her hands over Clare’s body, reaching for a hem of her shirt, tugging it slightly. Clarke understood and she put her arms into the air, giving Lexa permission to proceed. Lexa slowly pulled her shirt up, revealing Clarke’s body, inch by inch, and she audibly gasped when she took the shirt off completely. She reclined beck slightly so she could drink up this vision that was in front of her. Clarke had blue bra, her blonde locks falling haphazardly around her shoulders.

“Fuck me…” Lexa commented, her brain short circuited.

“Eager much?” it was Clarke’s turn to seize the opportunity, smirking at Lexa and how tables have turned. Lexa redirected her gaze off of Clarke’s boobs, looking Clarke in the eyes.

“Actually… yes.” 

 

Clarke felt her energy spiked with these words and she swiftly turned them, Lexa ending on her back, her legs still firmly around Clarke. Clarke propped herself up looking, soaking up Lexa and this moment she was in. Lexa was really beautiful. So much so, Clarke wasn’t sure she could ever explain it with words, no matter how hard she tried. She was utterly bewitched looking at Lexa’s splayed long hair, her symmetrical face with most adorable nose and lips that were something like her kryptonite. 

“Clarke…” Lexa’s concerned voice broke her reverie, and she blinked couple of times. “Is everything ok?” Lexa asked, her forehead creasing slightly.

“Yes…I just…You are so beautiful.” Clarke answered and almost instantly she could see Lexa’s cheeks blushing. She smiled at her, such a badass pilot, military trained woman, blushing at a simple compliment. 

“Well…have you looked yourself in a mirror?” Lexa tried to turn the attention over to Clarke, but the blonde wasn’t having it. She shook her head, smile still on her face.

“I have, but still. I got nothing on you. I think no one does…” she said, looking Lexa in the eyes. 

“Bullshit…” Lexa almost snorted. “But thank you.” she finally accepted the compliment. “Now…will you take your clothes of or I have to do it for you?” she asked,   
mischievous smile dancing on her lips, her brow quirked up questioning.

“You started it…” Clarke said slowly getting of the bed, Lexa getting up following her. “You finish it.”

She stood at the end of the bed in her shorts, and plaid shirt still tied around hips. She kicked her vans swiftly, getting more impatient by the second. Lexa sat at the end of the bed, looking up at Clarke, hooking her thumbs on Clarke’s shorts, pulling her closer. Lexa untied sleeves of the shirt, letting it fall down and then she unbuttoned and unzipped her shorts at a glacial pace, never looking down, her eyes glued to Clarkes. She pushed them slightly and they fell down, pooling around Clarkes ankles, leaving her only in her bra and panties. Lexa now receded from ongoing staring competition so she could roam around Clarke’s body, shamelessly, never hiding her ever-growing attraction for the blonde. She reached with her hands, placing them on Clarke’s hips, tracing with her fingers at the edge of a thin fabric that was now more than obviously soaked, and that vision spurred Lexa into action. She slowly latched her lips onto Clarke’s skin, placing small wet kisses from her left hip, along the edge of the panties, all the way to the right hip. Clarke’s skin was so soft and gentle, but also on fire, and blonde was on the verge of losing her mind right about now.   
She gently but purposefully pushed Lexa back and onto the bed, reaching for her jeans buttons. She undid them, pulling the pants down her legs, revealing long, slightly tanned legs, and all Clarke could think about now is how she really wanted those legs wrapped around her. She threw the pants somewhere on the floor haphazardly, looking back at Lexa that layed in front of her, just in her underwear, waiting and wanting this as much as Clarke did. Clarke climbed on top of the bed, laying down atop of Lexa, kissing her hard and urgent like Lexa was about to evaporate and disappear. Hands started roaming all over their bodies, skin burning under every touch, their bodies molded to accommodate one another, their legs tangled into a tight lock. It was a push and pull, all of the barriers between them now gone, their naked bodies welcomed each touch and kiss, each bite and soothing flick of the tongue. When everything was too much, each touch was almost painful, Lexa almost begged.

“Clarke…Please…Touch me.” she pleaded into blonde’s ear. 

And Clarke welcomed her wish, since she was at the edge of falling herself. Clarke’s hand painstakingly slow roamed over Lexa’s body until she reached that spot that Lexa wanted her, needed her the most. At the sheer contact, Lexa’s hips bucked upwards, welcoming Clarke’s touch, searching for this throbbing sensation to be finally soothed. Clarke could feel how ready and eager Lexa was, and a smile tugged on her face, knowing that her situation was the same, if not worst, but she would somehow solder on, and let Lexa first have her long awaited release. But she was surprised almost when she felt Lexa’s hand reaching and touching her in that same spot that she felt almost burning. Lexa could fell all the slickness and warmth that welcomed her, and Clarke counted her blessings at this point. She could feel Lexa’s body reacting to each movement she made with her fingers, circling around Lexa’s clit, pushing her in steady pace towards much wanted conclusion. 

Lexa’s movement almost mirrored Clarke’s, so the sensation was mutual, and somehow because of that fact alone, much more enjoyable and intense. Their bodies moved in unison, breaths quick and hot, sweat and arousal served as a perfect adjuvant, their hands and bodies emulsified in perfect harmony. They would lock their gazes from time to time and it would do wonders, like a catalyst, it rendered them down to pure sensation they couldn’t get enough of. Each name was whispered countless times, mixed with almost grimy summer air, washed with the moonlight, and each of those times, their names sounded like a lifesaving prayer, materialized deity and most sacred secret. 

 

At the end, all of those scratch marks on the back simmered down, erratic breaths morphed into long, lung and life filling ones, and once restless arms and hands finally found their righteous spot, around one another. 

 

Clarke listened to the steady beat of Lexa’s heart, that was just moments ago almost undetectable, each beat so close to the next one, almost merged into one imploding impact. She listened to it and she could feel her own pulse tried to match Lexa’s. Her body already wanted to cater to every need and want that Lexa had and that made her smile. She traced abstract shapes on Lexa’s still naked stomach, her abs being imaginary lines Clarke shouldn’t cross. Every now and then, Clarke would stroke across this spot that made Lexa’s skin awake and prickle, but Lexa never said anything. She didn’t move. If Clarke wasn’t so close to her, she would ask herself if Lexa even breathed. 

 

Lexa never felt more comfortable in her entire life. She was in Clarke’s arms, and even though she never felt the need for it, she somehow felt safe. From what, she didn’t know, but it was most serene and peaceful feeling she ever felt, and now that she knew how it felt like, she was scared. Because she never wanted to let this feeling go away. Let Clarke go away. Smell of Clarke’s hair was so poisonous and intoxicating, feeling of her skin against Clarke’s was match made in heaven. She really, really liked this girl in her arms, but was it possible? Will it last?

“Where are we?” Clarke asked and brought her down from this high she was on.

“Mm?” Lexa mumbled. 

“Whose house is this?” Clarke asked again.

“Oh that…It’s mine.” Lexa smiled. “Not technically, I rent it. But…It’s mine.”

“I thought you lived on the base…” 

“I have a room there too, but I needed something less….” Lexa answered but got stuck.

“Military?” Clarke offered, tilting her head so she rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder, looking at her. 

“Yes…I suppose so.” Lexa smiled and nodded.

“It’s nice…” Clarke looked around the room. 

“I think so…” Lexa looked around the room too, like she didn’t know where everything stood. “I like it, although I don’t spend too much time in it. Weekends and stuff.”

“This is your fuck shack basically.” Clarke said and that elicited hart warming laughter from Lexa.

“What?” Clarke asked, mocking being offended. 

“This is not my fuck shack Clarke…Jesus.” Lexa still smiled and shook her head. “Who do you think I am? Frat boy?”

“No, it’s just…You are hot, and single, and hot, and a fucking pilot, and did I mentioned hot?” Clarke offered and Lexa laughed again. 

“ Who says I’m single?” Lexa asked and regretted it immediately. Clarke’s head recoiled so fast, her eyes wide and in disbelief. 

“What??” Clarke snipped.

“No, no…I’m just kidding…Really, I am…” Lexa tried to rectify her early mistake. But Clarke wasn’t convinced. Suddenly Costia crossed her mind, but she couldn’t just bring her up like that. 

“ I’m not about breaking relationships or even being someone’s second choice.” Clarke said sternly. 

“Clarke…Come, please.” she motioned to Clarke to lie down, where she was moments before. Clarke complied, but she was still unsure. She nestled again, but her hand wasn’t searching for Lexa’s. 

“Clarke, you could never be someone’s second choice…Hell, you weren’t even my first choice…” Lexa started explaining, but Clarke again shoot her a murderous look.

“Once I saw you, you were the only choice for me…” Lexa said finally, making Clarke feel like an ass. She looked into Lexa’s eyes and she couldn’t find anything other than truth. She started to blush, and Lexa giggled at that, stroking her thumb across Clarke’s cheek. 

“You are cute when you are mad…” Lexa said, still smiling, and Clarke surprised her with sudden kiss. It was slow and she let herself enjoy it fully, but before she knew, Clarke pulled back just enough so she could speak.

“I’m not cute…” Clarke pouted. 

“I’m badass.” Lexa just nodded still smiling, peppering small kisses all over Clarkes face.

“Yeah…that too…” Lexa complied without being condescending, because she knew how much of a badass Clarke was, and she was really eager to see what blonde could do up in the air. Clarke yawned and Lexa smiled again, suddenly realizing how tired she felt. She hugged Clarke tightly kissing her on the crown of her head, eliciting small hum of satisfaction from Clarke.

“Sleep now…Rest.” Lexa said kissing Clarke again, knowing that when they wake up tomorrow, they will have a major problem on their hands. 

 

Clarke woke up, but she didn’t open her eyes immediately. She was relishing the feeling of the soft mattress that was beneath her, Lexa’s smell that was lingering all around her and soft breeze that was coming from the open sliding door. She took a deep breath and scent of summer air and flowers mixed with Lexa’s perfume filled her nostrils, and she smiled. Her muscles were beautifully aching, that unique feeling that she knew well, but now it was more special. She opened her eyes and looked around well lit room that was now so much bigger than she remembered, well decorated, white being predominant color. She propped herself up, seeing that Lexa was nowhere to be found, so she took couple of minutes to come to her senses, leaving dreams and sleep behind her. On the night table beside the bed was her phone, although she knew she didn’t put it there. She took it and unlocked it just to be hit with missed calls and numerous messages from her friends. It all came back to her now, remembering that she really never said goodbye to them, or even telling them where was she going. She remembered that Lexa told something to Gustus before they went out and into Lexa’s car.

She opened her messages and Raven and Octavia were sending her messages alternately, reaching staggering number of 45 messages. Each. But there was only one from Harper, and she decided it was that one she was going to read.

From: Harphy 

I know where you are. Enjoy it girl ;)) 

 

Clarke smiled but then again, she was worried. What happened yesterday is really frowned upon in military in general. Let’s put on top the fact that Lexa was their instructor plus they were both girls.

“Shit…” Clarke whispered looking at her phone.

 

She quickly texted Harper back, telling her she really hoped that she didn’t tell everyone. And now, much harder task was upon her. She needed to call Octavia, because she knew that Raven would chew her ear off, even from the distance. So she did.  
After long extremely muffled screaming into the phone, Clarke hung up knowing that she had some explaining to do. And she needed to buy something for Harper. She kept Raven and Octavia at bay whole night never letting them do something stupid. She got out of the bed, realizing that Lexa was still missing, and she really wanted to know where she was. She looked around the room but all of her stuff was gone except for her vans that were neatly put by the door. One thing was for sure, she was not going to strut outside of this room naked, so she went to the closet and took first shirt that she found and put it on. It smelled like Lexa and it was the softest thing she ever wore. She opened couple of drawers until she found one with underwear and picked one. 

 

Now that she was semi decent, she opened the door and followed smell of freshly brewed coffee and soft, light sound of music. She could hear papers being flipped and she tried her best not to disturb now fully visible Lexa that sat on one of the bar stools that were at each side of her counter top. It took her breath away. Lexa was sitting with one of her legs bended and propped on the stool, her hair pulled up into a messy bun, she really seemed interested in something she read, and everything around her just suited her. It was all Lexa, when she wasn’t in pressed up uniform, with straight face, professional and fierce. This girl was total opposite. Relaxed, calm…young. Clarke was leaning on the doorframe, really never wanting for this day to end. But it’ll end. And reality would hit. Hard. 

 

“Hey… Good morning.” Lexa’s soft voice brought her back down to the earth. She must’ve spaced out at some point, not detecting that Lexa was aware of her presence. She blinked hard and shook her head slightly, smiling back at Lexa.

“Good morning…” she walked over to the one of the stools but never sitting on it. “I smell some coffee.”

“Oh, yes. I made some. I’ll get you a cup.” Lexa got up and went to the cupboard retrieving a mug that had TOP GUN written over it. 

“Did you sleep well?” she asked, knowing that she haven’t slept so peacefully since she was a child.

“Yeah, I did actually. But I was met with a novel of messages when I got up.” She chuckled.

“Reyes and Blake?” Lexa turned around asking but really knowing the answer.

“You know it…” Clarke laughed. “Hey…what did you say to Gustus yesterday before…well, before we left?”

“I told him that we are leaving, and that he should tell Anya that you are with me, so she could lie something to your friends.” Lexa sat down again and handed Clarke her mug.

“Lie to my friends?” Clarke asked leaving her coffee on the counter.

“Well…Yes…I mean, what happened between us…” Lexa started explaining suddenly feeling guilty for saying these words. “ This can’t be known. This will expel you from the program, and I will be facing something much more serious than that.”

Clarke was furious. She knew that this was serious matter, but she couldn’t believe that Lexa treated her like a dumb blonde who lived in La La land, thinking that everyone should know about them. 

“Mhm…I see. So you think so little of me, thinking that I or my friends would go with a huge fucking banner all around the base screaming from the top of our lungs that we fucked.” she was fuming.

“Clarke, no one can know about this, and you are aware of it!!” Lexa shouted back.

“Well, tough shit, I already told them.” 

“You what???” Lexa was almost comical with her eyes wide open.

“YOU TOLD ANYA!” Clarke shouted throwing her arms in the air.

“I trust Anya!!!” Lexa tried to make a point.

“Well, I trust them.” Clarke retorted. Lexa simmered down pinching the bridge of her nose knowing that now, nothing was in her hands. Clarke looked at her shaking her head slightly.

“It comes down to this Lexa, do you or do you not trust me?” Clarke asked with the emphasis on ME part. Lexa looked at her looking like Clarke wounded her deeply with this question.

“I trust you Clarke…” Lexa said. “I do.”

 

Clarke took a deep breath, calming herself down, because she could feel that Lexa wasn’t lying.

“All right… So stop worrying. They won’t say anything. I promise.” Clarke tried to reassure Lexa, knowing that this would be a bitch to hide. Lexa nodded and redirected her attention to newspaper, seemingly ignoring Clarke. Clarke stared at her for quite some time before she spoke.

“Oh, I see how it is…” she started, and Lexa looked up at her again. “ You got what you wanted and what you needed yesterday, so now you are going to pretend that I don’t exist? I don’t deserve at least a fucking Hey Clarke, It was fun. See ya.” Clarke got riled up again.

“Clarke…”

“No, this is some bullshit Lexa and you know it, I expected you to be at least well-mannered about this.” Clarke was on a roll now.

“Clarke, please…” Lexa tried to stop her but to no avail.

“And where are my damn clothes???” she shouted effectively ending her rant. Her last nerve snapped when she saw Lexa starting to laugh, wheezing almost, clutching her stomach.

“DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY???” Clarke shouted and Lexa just nodded, tears running down her face. Clarke stood there not believing what was happening, waiting for Lexa to calm down a bit.

“Clarke…Oh god…Clarke.” Lexa started.

“What??”

“What I want is standing at the other side of the counter, losing her shit, and what I need from you is to calm down, drink some coffee and kiss me finally.” Lexa said in one breath. 

“What..?” Clarke asked now much more calmer then seconds before.

“Since I got up, I was waiting for you to come here so I could kiss you.” Lexa got up and slowly rounded the counter so she could get near Clarke, standing in front of her, reaching for her to pull her closer. “You slept in my arms, but I still missed you when I got up.”

Clarke was baffled. Their faces were so close that one slight movement from Clarke would bridge that gap and their lips would be reunited.

“Lexa…You started reading paper in the middle of the argument.” Clarke deadpanned. Lexa blinked hard, smiling sheepishly. 

“I know…I’m sorry. I forgot in the moment that we really don’t know each other, at all really. That…It’s my coping mechanism. I have to avert my attention to something else so I can calm myself down.” Lexa explained, still dangerously close to Clarke.

“I should have told you to give me a minute, and I didn’t. I’m really sorry.” Clarke squinted her eyes like she wasn’t buying the story.

“I would never ignore you purposefully… I think that’s impossible.” Lexa tried to get into her good graces again.

“You, Captain Woods, are a smooth talker.” Clarke smirked and lowered her gaze from Lexa’s eyes down to her lips.

“And you are still cute when you are mad…”Lexa smiled and leaned in, reacquainting their lips once again, enjoying Clarke’s closeness, pulling her even more close, so that her body almost became one with blondes. They parted, brushing their noses gently.

“This could really fuck up our lives…” Lexa commented with closed eyes. In that moment she really, deep down knew, that she didn’t care. But it was dangerous to feel like that, like she would throw away her career, everything she worked for so hard.

“Yeah, we did enter the danger zone…” Clarke retorted, knowing all too well that her father wouldn’t be happy about this, her almost throwing away her life calling. But she remembered that dream again, and it started to make much more sense to her. Maybe her father would be their biggest supporter. She would never find that out, and that made her sad. 

“But it might be worth it…” Clarke concluded.

“I really hope so.” Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke again. “Now, drink your coffee, it’s almost cold.” she motioned for Clarke to sit on one of the stools, and Clarke complied. Lexa went over to her seat, taking a sip of her own cold brew, but she didn’t mind.

“ And your clothes are washed and dried. You’ll get them back later. I like what you are wearing now.” Lexa smirked, and Clarke rolled her eyes, but she still loved that smirk.

“Pass me a section.” Clarke said and Lexa did gave her a part of the paper. They sat like that for some time, seemingly reading papers, but actually stealing glances and smiles, their hands found one another, fingers intertwined. 

 

Tomorrow was a new day at the base, beginning of their second week and they both silently mulled over ideas how to conceal this newfound addiction, undeniable attraction that was consumed and now was surpassing their own expectations, making it’s way through their hearts threatening to become something much more serious and long lasting. 

The deal was that Lexa would drove them back to the base later on, and the rest of the day was filled with lingering kisses, cuddle sessions that really quickly transformed into steaming and mind bending interaction, that they couldn’t get enough of. They were pulled to one another in more ways they could count, and words were really unnecessary. Their actions spoke volume, each kiss, each moan, each tremor was enough to want more, like they would never get satisfied.   
Lexa was now lying facing the open door that led to back yard that was filled with flowers that she patiently planted and looked for, letting the scent wash her over. Clarke was behind her, tracing her back tattoo, in silence that was so welcoming and pleasant. She really never liked to be silent with someone, it scared her, but with Clarke, it was soothing. 

 

“I though you hated me” Clarke almost whispered looking outside, seeing that sky changed it’s colors due to sunset, and it was beautiful, breathtaking almost. But this girl that was in front of her was a true miracle.

“What?” Lexa asked turning slowly around so she could face Clarke.

“Yeah….During the tests…I thought you were condescending sometimes, with your advices. “ Clarke smiled. “I know better now.”

“I was being your instructor.” Lexa said. “It is my job to guide you all.”

“Oh, I saw how you guided the rest of them…” Clarke mocked.

“Don’t be an ass.” Lexa nudged her. “ I was just…I wanted you to do good, and still not strain yourself.”

“Thank you…” Clarke said caressing Lexa’s cheek. 

“And don’t think that I forgot you being stubborn ass at that G’ force test.” Lexa got riled up. “What a hell was that Clarke?” Clarke laughed, throwing her head on the pillow.

“Com’ on…You liked it, and you know it.” Clarke said and winked. 

“I was ready to get out there and pull you out of that pod…” Lexa said exasperatedly. 

“Oh please, I have to be able to do that Lexa. Are you forgetting that I’m a pilot too??”

“No, I’m not…” Lexa rolled her eyes but looked at Clarke mischievously. “I can’t wait to see what you can do in the air Griffin.”

“Yeah…I’m gonna blow you away.” Clarke stated full of confidence. 

“You already did.” Lexa retorted.

“Smooth Woods…That was smooth.” she smiled and leaned in for the uptenth time that day, kissing Lexa like her life depended on it, like it was oxygen in much better form and she needed it to stay alive.

 

They drove back to the base, their hands locked, like they tried to touch each other as much as they could, since they wouldn’t be able to do so in the upcoming week, where everybody could see them and expose them. They knew that they had to be super careful, smart and observant. They couldn’t afford to be seen, so their interaction would have to be rendered down to a bare minimum outside of the class and practice. And it’s going to be hard. Now when they tasted something that was so body and mind consuming, question was, who will cave first. Both of them were sure that they will. 

As they approached the base, Clarke unwillingly let go of Lexa’s hand and sat in the passenger seat as less conspicuous as she could. They stopped at the gates for the check and solider that was stationed there looked at them a second longer Clarke would like. But this was her reality now. Each laughter or lingering gaze would make her question it’s origin. This was a nice, paved way to paranoia. Lexa parked the car at the lot, and they got out, their moves almost robotic. They didn’t dare to look at one another, even though the parking was empty, and no one would saw them. Lexa walked with Clarke up to her dorm, comically saluting her at the end, but Clarke saluted back just in case. They parted ways, and something tugged in their stomach the second they turned back to each other.   
This is going to be a bitch.

 

Clarke entered the room, seeing Octavia standing in the middle of it, obviously explaining something to Raven and Harper. They all turned their heads, looking at Clarke in dead silence. Octavia was first that broke this silent bubble. 

“WHAT the actual fuck Griffin??” Clarke slammed the door, shushing Octavia.

“Would you mind…?” 

“No, I would not.” Octavia whisper screamed. “Listen boo, I don’t really care who are you fucking.” she continued. “Unless it’s our fucking instructor and higher ranked officer.”

“Octavia…” Clarke tried to explain.

“No, no…I don’t wanna hear it. You are risking your career here Clarke…Are you aware of that?”

“I am, and I will be fine if you keep your mouth shut O.” Clarke said.

“We won’t tell Clarke, you know us.” Harper produced.

“It’s not about us anymore…Do you really think no one will see through your bullshit?” Octavia attacked again. 

“We will be extra fucking careful Octavia. Now lay off my back.” Clarke had it. 

“Oh my god…” Octavia threw her arms in the air. “We are on your side Clarke, you know that. We will be quiet. But this is a dangerous game you two are playing.”

“I am well aware of that O…And thank you.” she side hugged Octavia and fist bumped Harper. But Raven was really quiet and it was eerie. 

“Sooo…did you have a nice time?” Harper asked smirking. 

“Yeah...By the way…how did you know?” Clarke really wanted to know.

“What can I say…I have a nose for those things.” she winked. “Plus I saw you getting out of the bar, so I figured.” she shrugged, and they all laughed, but Raven was still silent. It bugged Clarke, she expected a bomb to be dropped on her, screaming, anything really. But this silent treatment was the worst thing Raven could put her through and she was at the brink of snapping at her.

“I’m gonna go take a shower...” Octavia said looking at Clarke pointedly . “You could use one to, skanky pants. “

“I’ll go after you Waterbug…” Clarke sassed back.

“Oh my god…are those staying??” Octavia asked with a fear written across her face. 

“Fuck yes.” Harper nodded and with that cemented this topic. Octavia was still in disbelief. And Raven was still silent. 

Harper got up and hugged Clarke, patting her on the back, silently telling her that she will indeed have her back, and be there for her, because that’s what friends are for.

“I’m gonna hit the bed. I need my beauty sleep.” she announced. “Reyes, you coming?” 

“Um, yeah…I’ll be there in a minute.” Raven finally let her voice hit Clarke’s ears.

“All right…See ya tomorrow.” she opened the door and stepped out. ”I’m still kind of hangover…”. Clarke closed the door behind her, and leaned on them looking at Raven that looked…not scared or angry or anything. She was smug. That silent bitch was smug.

“Raven…” she tilted her head looking at her friend. “Spill.”

Raven looked at the bathroom door, silently asking Clarke if it was safe to talk.

“The water is running, she can’t hear us.” Clarke said and went over to her bed, sitting next to Raven. “So…?”

 

Raven looked at her and her eyes had something else in them. Understanding, full on understanding of the situation. She had a look of a partner in crime. Like they were in same deep shit pool, trying to swim up the current. Again, Clarke expected anything, but this. 

 

“Clarke… I slept with Anya.”


	6. I got your back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people…sorry for the long wait, some stuff happened…well, life happened. But I’m back with a monster of a chapter, and I hope you will like it.  
> Just because you waited this long, next one is coming sooner, like…in a couple of days.  
> Also, there is something in this chapter that I slightly foreshadowed in the first one.
> 
>  
> 
> Comment, like or whatever, I’m here for it :)
> 
> Enjoy
> 
>  
> 
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clarke was looking in her reflection in their bathroom mirror, her forehead had a little crease, just between her brows, she scrunched up her nose due to tying her hair up in a high ponytail. She was adamant about it this morning when she got up, she is not going to think about her, speak about her, even hope. It was Wednesday, the beginning of the third day since she last saw Lexa. After their bed shared weekend and brief goodbye, Clarke haven’t seen or heard about the brunette. She was of the grid, no one has seen her, or heard something about her whereabouts. By nobody, she meant her friends that knew about her little predicament. Captain Forrest was also rarely seen in these past few days, and she didn’t know what to think about it. Most of their classes were held by Captain Duke, and even though she was ok with him, she really wanted to know where the rest of Satan’s trifecta is. Octavia was more than ecstatic to attend every class, thus having herself being absolutely rendered speechless each time she saw Lincoln. Rest of the girls saw her drooling over Duke, and by this point Harper laid down a bet. When will they hit the sack? Raven was sure that Octavia will jump on Lincoln the minute they hit the ground after their first flight, having her adrenaline spiking so much so she will forget where she was and who he is. Clarke was more forgiving towards her feisty friend, giving her two weeks more, knowing that Octavia had to go through grueling process in her head, going back and forth about something so big and dangerous. And Harper was fairly sure they already did it yesterday when he called her in the back office in the Hangar 8 where they had classes. 

But all of that, even though it was funny and interesting, didn’t really manage to divert her mind from Captain Woods.  
Even today, she wasn’t in the mass for breakfast. She was a-wall, and she couldn’t just ask Captain Duke where she was and will she coming back any time sooner.  
Clarke thought about the possibility that Lexa really regretted everything, and that this was the way she wanted to get that message across. But then again, they were two grown ass women that were perfectly capable of voicing their concerns, wishes and discomfort. And then…Clarke would replay that weekend in her head over and over again and she really couldn’t pinpoint the moment in which Lexa looked like she wanted to flee or drop Clarke like one of one night stands. It was funny, but it felt almost domestic. So Clarke was really torn up, but as she said to herself. No more. Go with the flow. She’ll come back. And when she does, they will talk. 

“Be calm and serene Clarke…” she whispered while she checked her uniform before heading out of the bathroom. 

‘Yo, you going somewhere?” Octavia asked her from her bead, her phone propped up above her face.

“Yes…I’m having a session…meeting…I don’t know what with Major Kapor.” Just by saying her name Clarke started to have sweaty palms. 

“Oh, that’s today. Good luck girl….You got this shit.” Octavia reached over to Clarke with her hand giving her a fist bump.

“Thanks O…I’m going to need it.” Clarke nodded and reached for the door. ‘Don’t masturbate too much…You’ll see Lincoln today.” she commented while exiting.

“CLARKE!” Octavia jumped up, looking at the blonde with her raised eyebrows.

Clarke went back in the room closing the door behind her.

“Oh come on O, it’s obvious you have hots for him. And I don’t blame you, he is piece of work in that uniform.” Clarke said raising her hands like she is stating the fact. Octavia huffed and rolled her eyes.

“He is one hot motherfucker,yes, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to whack thinking about him…”

“I wish Bellamy could hear this…” Clarke whispered while smirking at her friend.

“Oh shut up Clarke…Not all of us is going to sleep with our superior you know.” Octavia jabbed and immediately regretted it seeing the change in Clarke’s demeanor.

“I’m sorry, I’m an ass…Just forget what I said, what do I know…” Octavia got up and went over to Clarke reaching for her forearm squeezing it lightly. 

“No, it’s ok O…Don’t worry about it.” Clarke muttered and turned around going out, closing the door behind her.

 

“Good job Octavia….SUCH an ass…” Octavia cursed herself getting back on the bed.

 

 

Clarke was walking towards administrative building, feeling the heat on her neck, starting to sweat slightly, not being sure if it was from this hell she was in or the fact she was going to have to endure one hour talking with Major Kapor. It was the mixture of all of that, with a sprinkle of anxiety she felt every time Lexa crossed her mind. She went in, saluting from time to time when higher ranked officer crossed paths with her, calming herself down a bit, cooling down, getting prepared for the task before her. But nothing could prepare her for this next thing. As she rounded the corner heading towards Major Kapor’s office at the end of the hall, she halted in her steps as she saw Captain Woods at the door, smiling her biggest smiles, radiating almost, and Clarke wanted to bolt. Or just smash her head at the doorframe. She was here obviously,on the base, so she must’ve just trying to avoid the blonde. Calm and serene Clark was nowhere to be found, she was now pissed and mad, and on the verge to give Lexa her piece of mind. As she stood there like somebody nailed her to the floor she could see Lexa nodding and smiling, talking to Costia. She was almost out of her office, her hand on the door knob, her head just slightly leaned in.

 

“You know I’m afraid every time.” Lexa said to Costia and a loud laugh came from the office.

“I’ll keep you safe, you know that.” Costia answered and Clarke could physically feel her blood boiling. Lexa nodded her radiant smile turning into shy one.

‘You always do…” and with that she closed the door, shaking her head slightly still smiling. She took couple of steps with her head still down, and as soon she lifted her head up, she could see Clarke standing in the hallway. Now it was her turn to halt in her steps, looking at the blonde, wide eyed, but after initial shock, her lips started to turn upwards. But Clarke didn’t wait to see that smile. She started walking towards the office, her face stone cold, she was fuming. 

“Clar…” Lexa wanted to say something, but Clarke swiftly stopped her saluting her while she was walking pass her.

“Captain Woods.” it was quick, like a snap almost, she never looked at Lexa while passing her by. She quickly knocked on the door, receiving an invitation from the inside. She opened the door and walked in, closing it behind her, never once turning around to look at Lexa.

“Major Kapor” Clarke acknowledged the women behind the desk, saluting her.

“Clarke, please, come in…Sit down.” Costia told her with a big smile on her face, surely still there from the conversation she had with Lexa. Clarke felt nauseated, and she really shouldn’t feel like that. Lexa and her had some fun, but reality on the base is much more different. She felt pissed at Lexa for lying her. She obviously had something with Costia, and Clarke all of a sudden felt heavier, her shoulders hunched. She felt bad and furious at the same time. 

“How was your weekend?” Costa asked, her smile never faltering down. 

“Eye opening.” Clarke responded exhaling. Costia looked at her through her lashes.

“I hope it was fun at least. Did you manage to unwind a bit?” Costia continued to push on and at this point Clarke thought that Lexa told her all about it, and she is sucked in some kind of weird threesome game she never wanted to be part of. 

“I did….I had a nice time with my friends.” Clarke took a safe route, hoping that Costia will drop the subject. 

“Just that?” Costia asked and Clarke was getting wound up again. 

“How was yours? Did you do something fun?” Clarke deadpanned. Costia looked at her, leaving her notes, with a smirk on her face. 

“No actually…My partner was suddenly busy all weekend, so I didn’t do anything extraordinary. Read a book, most of the time.” Costia answered. 

“Suddenly?” Clarke asked before she could stop herself. 

“Yeah…when you have a partner who is also in the military, and on this base, things like that tend to happen.” Costia said like it was nothing. 

Clarke was pale. 

‘Are you ok…You don’t look so good?” Costia asked with worrying tone.

“Um…yeah. It’s just the heat.” Clarke tried to play that card, since it was the safest. What was she supposed to say? Oh, well I’m pretty sure your partner was busy this weekend doing me.

“Yeah, today is really cranking it up. I’ll get you some water.” with that Costia got up and exited her office leaving Clarke to calm herself down a bit. Clarke put her head on her hands, breathing slowly.

“You got this Clarke….Power it through.” she gave herself a quick pep talk. Costia came back with a plastic cup filled with ice cold water and Clarke downed it like it was her saving dose of medicine. 

“Better?” Costia asked, still having worried face and Clarke wished for her to be little less compassionate and a bit more bitchy, just to ease her mind. 

“Yeah…Thank you.” Clarke nodded.

“No need to thank me…I wouldn’t want you to fall here and maybe injure yourself. “ Costia smiled. “I wouldn’t want to tell Captain Woods that you got injured on my watch.” 

“Why Captain Woods?” Clarke asked a little too quickly. 

“Well, she is the head of your class, your main instructor. I report to her.” Costia said with a small smile. “And I know that she cares for each and every one of you, even though she doesn’t show it always.” Clarke just nodded, not knowing what to say to that.

“Just don’t tell her that I said this.” Costia added laughing slightly. 

“Don’t worry…I won’t.’ Clarke reassured Major Kapor, calming herself down enough not to raise suspicions with other woman. 

“So…are there any improvements from our last talk?’ Costia asked reclining in her chair, taking her notebook to rest on her crossed legs. 

“In terms of…?”

“In terms of anything really…” 

“Well…I spoke with my mother.” Clarke said.

“And how that went?” Costia asked while writing down something.

“It went well actually. We have a long way to go still, but I think that we are on a good path now.” Clarke answered.

“And what is that path?”

“Path of mutual understanding. I think that was the biggest problem between us. I think she is finally coming to terms with the fact that this is my career choice and that I’m doing something I love. “

“And what about you? “

“And I…I get where her reservations come from. I understand that she is living in a constant fear. And I will do anything in my power not to let her down.” Clarke said and Costia could hear the sincerity in blonde’s voice. 

“Good. I’m glad that you made a contact with her. It’s important.” 

“Yeah…”

“Anything else?” Costia asked raising her gaze towards Clarke.

“No…that was the only major thing that changed since the last time we spoke.”

“Only?” Costia prodded further. 

“Mhm.” Clarke just nodded, praying to gods to give her strength to continue to conceal the truth. 

“All right…” Costia left her notebook on the desk, looking at Clarke. “What do you think of your instructors?”

“Excuse me?” Clarke started to feel uncomfortable again. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what do you think about them…You will be here for four more weeks, so what are your thoughts on them?” 

“Does this mean you are giving me the green light?” Clarke asked raising her eyebrow. Costia laughed shaking her head as doing so. 

“You are really something…” she looked at Clarke again. “I can see it now…” Costia almost whispered. 

“Well?” Clarke asked really trying to forget about last comment Costia had. 

“Clarke…I wasn’t going to fail you and not give you clearance to continue with the program.” Costia said and Clarke looked at her with squinted eyes. “ You are excellent pilot , and you did amazing job on your tests. This is just….let’s call it a friendly push towards better version of yourself.”

“Friendly?” Clarke repeated. 

“Yes…I had a feeling that you would be much calmer if you knew that your mother is behind you.” Costia continued. “You are strong and insanely brave. But even you have to have some safety net, some emotional back up.”

“Well…you could’ve told me this before, you would save me from sleepless nights.” Clarke said a bit irritated and Costia smiled again.

“No, I couldn’t have.” 

“So…should I come again or…what?” 

“If you ever feel the need to, please. My doors are always open. Even if you want to went. I’m here. I mean it.” Costia looked at Clarke straight in the eyes. “But no, there is no mandatory appointment. You are free to go.”

“Um…thank you…I guess.” Clarke stood up slowly, still processing what just happened. 

“So this is it. I’m good to go?” Clarke asked again, not being quite sure if she got everything right. 

“Yes Lieu. Griffin. You are.” Costia stood up too reaching for Clarke with her hand outstretched. “I know you will do good.” 

Clarke shook Costia’s hand, nodding slowly. 

“I hope so.” 

“I know so.” Costia smiled and sat back down. 

“Thank you Major.” Clarke nodded and slowly walked over towards the door. She opened them and took a step forward but stopped suddenly. 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke said quietly looking at Costia.

“What for?” 

“I was a bitch to you….I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Costia said and winked to Clarke. “Go on now. Fly away.”

Clarke rolled her eyes but still smiled to the Major and stepped out of her office finally, closing the door behind her. 

 

She took a deep breath, smiling slightly to herself. She was in, she was in for good, and from now on only her results and achievements will determine will she finish this program or not. And she will do her damn best to finish this, with accolades if necessary. She will do this for her dad.  
But, there is one little problem in the shape and form of the hottest women Clarke ever had the pleasure to see, let alone kiss, touch, taste. Taste. Clarke was immediately taken aback, to that soft bed, wrinkled sheets, brown locks splayed over feathery pillows, whispering her name, over and over, with that special, hard K at the end, that only Lexa managed to make it sound sexy and adoring at the same time. She could almost taste Lexa here and now, just by remembering that night, her lips that always somehow tasted sweet, her skin that was coated with light sheen of sweat, mixed with lust and passion, and that scent that was oh so Lexa. Lavender and something else, something Clarke was sure no one managed to bottle it up and preserve it.

“God fucking damn it…” Clarke whispered to herself as she stepped out of the building, the heat hitting her hard once again. She needed to compose herself, set priorities, remember why she is here and set her mind on that goal, and focus on it. That night was special, there is no point on lying herself about it. She will remember it till the rest of her life, but maybe that was all it needed to be. One night stand. One fucking hot night stand. With her superior.

She almost wanted to have Raven’s mindset about it. After Raven told her about her and Anya, Clarke wanted to know did they talked about it, settled on what it was, had some plan for the days to come. As Raven told her, they all got back together to the base, and after putting almost passed out Octavia to the bed, there was awkward silence between remaining three women. Harper, being extremely drunk, slumped on Clarke’s bed, face down and fell asleep almost immediately. Raven and Anya just got it. Read each other’s minds, as Raven put it. They went back into the Raven’s room, did the deed, said their goodbyes and that was it.  
But, that was Raven. And that was Anya. And Clarke, at this point couldn’t decide, what she wanted from this. For Lexa and her to continue this? Absolutely not, since she lied about her and Costia, and Clarke never felt filthier in her life. For them to stop, and leave this to be what it is. One night stand.

She was almost at the entrance of their dorm, when she heard familiar voice calling after her. She rolled her eyes, because she was not in the mood, and she was at the brink of a quick but damaging mental break down, and her energy level was low for the upcoming shit fest. She turned around nevertheless.

“Yes Finn…what is it?” she addressed him with obvious irritation in her voice.

“Hey Princess… wha’cha doing?” Finn stopped, little too close to her for her liking.

“Finn, I don’t have time, did you wanted to ask me something?” Clarke said exasperated.

“Princess… what’s with the attitude? You forgot out time together?” Finn smirked, trying to be playful and flirty, but the result was oncoming vomit in Clarke’s esophagus.

“Finn…first off all, don’t fucking call me that, ever again, or I will break your neck…”

“Princ…” Finn smiled again.

“I’m serious. I’ll snap it like a twig.” Clarke raised her hand. “And second off all, unfortunately, yes, I remember those two times we slept together. First time I was frustrated and in need of getting laid, and you were there, the second time I was so bored I thought that spending night with you will help me.”

Finn opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but was stopped by Clarke.

“I’m not done. I would give my all just to erase it from my memory. No, it wasn’t good. No, I don’t want it to happen again. And no, I will never stoop so low like that again.” when she finished she could see genuine hurt across Finn’s face.

“All right Clarke…You don’t have to be like that. I get it.” Finn said.

“Obviously you don’t. Because I’m fucking tired of your little innuendos, and sudden hugs and winks and smiles and blowing kisses and I’m just sick of it, really Finn. Stop it. Just stop.” Clarke ranted on, never seeing Captain Woods standing close to them, listening to the whole conversation. And now, Finn was getting pissed off. Clarke was stomping all over his macho demeanor, and he wasn’t having it.

“Ok, I see…When you needed some dick to ride, I was good enough, and now…”

 

He never saw it coming. Lexa grabbed him by the neck so hard, she scared him and Clarke in the process. Without any word she pulled him over to the dorm, and he didn’t fight back, mostly because he didn’t know how a women’s grip could be so hard and forceful. Clarke watched everything wide eyed and followed them in, never saying a word, because, truth to be told, this Lexa was something completely new. Her eyes were cold, every muscle on her arm visible, her jaw so tightly shut, she thought brunette was seconds from crushing it. They stumbled into the building, and Lexa forcefully slammed Finn against the wall, his face contorted in pain and disbelief. He could feel her fingers tightening against his neck, ripping his long hair in the process. Clarke stopped beside Lexa and tried to say something, but she was pretty sure, Captain wouldn’t hear her. Lexa, ignoring Clarke, pushed Finn against the wall again, with more force than before. She leaned in, never releasing him.

“Collins, this is the last time you spoke like this to her, you hear me?” she whispered, but every word was louder than screaming. He tried to nod, but couldn’t since his head was firmly attached to the wall. 

“She is a higher ranked officer and this is more than enough for me to expel you from this program.” he widened his eyes at that.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” he managed to mutter.

“I don’t give a fuck if you are sorry or not.” Lexa said, while her grip on his neck hardened. Clarke saw an opportunity to calm the situation down a bit, so she slowly put her hand on the small of Lexa’s back, grabbing her uniform, lightly squeezing and pulling. That snapped Captain back. She turned her head towards Clarke, her eyes still devoid of any emotion but pure anger towards this maggot that she held by the wall. Clarke had this look on her face that calmed Lexa down, like she was saying that he wasn’t worth it, any of it. Her nerves, possible complications, anything. She silently mouthed “Leave it…” to Lexa and she did. She released Finn who turned around instantly looking at her like he would hit her if he could, but even he wasn’t that dumb. He rubbed the back of his neck being pretty sure that soon, some bruises would show up, cause Lexa had a serious grip on him seconds ago.

“This…is not going to fly by.” he motioned between him and Lexa. ‘I have witnesses that you are a crazy bitch, this is not going to go away.” he tried to threaten her. Lexa was now ready to end it all. Last ounce of her self-control was out of the window and she squeezed her hands into fists, but before anything could happen, Clarke jumped in.

“What witnesses Finn? I didn’t see shit. Hell, I’m not even here.” Clarke confronted him, and Finn pointed to Adan that stood behind them, open mouthed. 

“He saw it. He saw it all.” Clarke turned around and calmly addressed younger boy that looked petrified. 

“Petty Officer Adams…Did you see anything that could potentially harm Captain Wood’s reputation here?” she asked him tipping her head slightly towards him. Lexa still looked at Finn with murderous eyes, not really calming down enough to speak or do anything. Aden shook his head vigorously, not even blinking. 

“No…not really ma’am.” he finally managed to stutter, his face pale. 

“Good.” Clarke nodded and turned around towards Finn. “I think that is best for you to go now. Quietly.” Clarke said and Finn looked at her like she was crazy.

“I will…”

“Go. Now. And don’t be stupid.” Clarke said with finality and Finn somehow pealed himself from the wall and went out of the dorm, his hand still on his neck, rubbing the sore spot. Clarke looked at Lexa that was still looking at the wall where Finn was seconds ago. 

“Lexa…” Clarke calmly called the other women, but Lexa was in some kind of haze still, not moving a muscle, her hands still in tight fists. Clarke could see that Lexa needed some time to calm and regroup so she turned towards Aden once again.

“Adams…Is Blake still in the room?” she asked pointing upstairs.

“No ma’am. Blake, Reyes and McIntyre all got out fifteen minutes ago.” Aden informed her.

“Good…” she squeezed Lexa’s forearm and pulled it slightly. “Come.” 

At that Lexa turned her head, looking at Clarke, her eyes still filled with rage and something dangerous, and Clarke really didn’t like it. She needed to do something to calm Captain Woods down before she can go on with her day, because frankly, she was worried about the other woman. 

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked her, her voice just barely audible.

“Come with me. You need to calm down, and I’ll be damned if I let you walk away looking like that.” Clarke never let go of Lexa’s arm. 

“I’m fine.” Lexa said, now with much more vigor and strength. She raised her chin up, doing that thing with her jaw that Clarke usually liked, but now, everything Lexa did was making Clarke feeling more and more concerned.

“No you are not. Come.” Clarke said with finality and pulled Lexa harder, making Lexa follow her without any questions.

“Griffin, I cannot be in your room. There are rules here.” Lexa tried to slow down, but to no avail, Clarke had a strong grip on her uniform, and Lexa wouldn’t be able to free herself without using some kind of a force. And that was out of the question. Clarke just snorted and turned slightly.

“Now you care about the rules.” Lexa shut up, but her face contorted, because from this perspective, everything she just did started to sink in. And it wasn’t good. Using force on the base was strictly forbidden, plus she was higher ranked officer. She should have known better. 

 

Clarke opened the door of her room, since they really didn’t lock it anymore. There was no point, they all trusted each other, no one believed that someone would go in and steal something. They were in this together, and if somebody needed something that other person had, simple ‘please’ would do the trick. Lexa walked behind her, and when they were in room, Clarke let go of Lexa’s arm, pointing towards her bed.

“Sit.” She almost ordered, and Lexa complied knowing damn well that this was not the time she should go against Clarke. To be honest, Lexa was little frightened by blonde in this state. She didn’t know how will Clarke react, and how big of a damage she did minutes ago by acting as a possessive maniac. Clarke disappeared into the bathroom, coming out after couple of seconds, bringing Lexa glass of water, handing it down and sitting on Octavia’s bed.

“Drink.” she said sternly. Lexa almost rolled her eyes at Clarke, but Clarke just raised her eyebrow and Lexa downed that glass of water like it was nothing. They sat like that in silence, no one daring to say something. They knew what happened, but also, Clarke was very puzzled by Captains behavior. Sure, Finn acted like a dick, and Lexa could easily just tell him to back off and send him on his marry way, but Lexa acted like Finn did something much worse than being over articulate and graphic with his words. 

“What just happened?” Clarke asked, her tone calm and soft. She didn’t want to rile up Lexa again, but she had to know. Lexa shook her head slightly, looking at the now empty glass in her hands.

“I crossed the line.” Lexa answered still not looking over to Clarke. 

“That’s debatable.” Clarke said, crossing her legs. “But, what happened?” she prodded again. Lexa looked into the bathroom, like she tried to look anywhere else but at the blonde. She couldn’t look at Clarke. Not now. 

“Something that shouldn’t have happened. He has every right to report me.” Lexa finally muttered. 

“He won’t.” Clarke shook her head.

“You don’t know that.” Lexa snapped.

“Yes Lexa, I do.” 

“Well…it doesn’t matter now. I will do it.” she said with finality. Clarke just widened her eyes, shaking her head slightly. 

“No you will fucking not.” she said. “You will not do such thing.”

“I have to.” Lexa was adamant. 

“Ok. Do it. I will say that Collins hit me and you tried to get him off of me.” Clarke bounced back. At that Lexa looked at her finally. 

“What??” she snipped.

“Mhm…” Clarke nodded. “Go and report this and I will follow with this story.” 

“That is a lie. He will say it’s a lie.” Lexa said exasperatedly. She shook her head and closed her eyes, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You just can’t do that.” 

“And you can’t report this.” Clarke closed the circle.

“I have to.” Lexa almost shouted. 

“Why? Finn’s not gonna say shit because he is scared of you, and more so, he is scared of being expelled. Adams will keep his mouth shut because he idolizes you, and I wont say anything because …”

“Because what?’ Lexa stopped her. Clarke looked at her with soft eyes.

“Because I haven’t showed you what I can do in the air.” she tried to lighten the mood, but Lexa just closed her eyes, pinching her nose at the base. She started to develop a headache. 

“Clarke, I…”

“Shut up. Nothing happened today.” Clarke said sternly. ‘And if you think about reporting this to anyone, I swear to god, I will lie my ass off, so essentially, you would be expelling me too. “ 

 

Lexa looked at her like she was lost and drained. And Clarke had to dig deep to fight the urge to get up and hug her tightly, so she just sat there trying to calm other women by just being there. Lexa put the glass down to the floor next to her feet, and she rested her head on her hands, arms propped up on her knees. She sat like that for quite some time, Clarke just listened to other women breathing.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa finally said. 

“What for?” Clarke asked softly. 

“For acting like this…I have…I have no excuse.” she raised her head up and looked at Clarke. “When I heard him saying those things…I just blacked out.”

“He is an asshole.” Clarke prompted. “But you didn’t have to put yourself at risk for that.”

“Myself?” Lexa looked at Clarke like she didn’t quite get what blonde meant by that.

“Yes…You don’t know how he could have reacted…He could’ve hit you or worse.” Lexa now fully rolled her eyes, that signature smirk dancing on her lips.

“Please…I am more than capable of taking that motherfucker down.” she said with a flair. Now Clarke rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly.

“This macho behavior is getting on my nerves, rapidly. “ she commented. ‘That’s not my point. You got into head on collision with somebody who could have fight back.” Lexa opened her mouth to say something, but Clarke cut her off. 

“I’m not saying you wouldn’t own his ass, I’m saying, you threw yourself into a potentially dangerous situation and for what? Because he was mouthy mommas boy? Please Lexa…” Clarke tilted her head.

“He had no right to speak to you that way.” Lexa said sternly, but she didn’t voiced how she felt at that moment when she found out that there was something between two of them. 

“In some universe, maybe he had some right…I did basically used him. If roles were reversed, he would be a dick for treating me that way.” Clarke said, and Lexa stood up immediately. 

“You are right. I had no business of intermediating between you two. I’m sorry.” She said harshly and Clarke stood up too.

“Lexa, that’s not what I was sayi…”

“No. I got it. Everyone has a past, and I just happen to hear yours like this. I admit, I didn’t like what I heard and I acted upon it.”

“Lexa…” Clarke said almost begging. 

“And it most definitely won’t happen again. I don’t want to stand between you and any possible reconciliation with him. I did something extremely stupid, and It might come back and bite me in the ass.”

“Mighty ass.” Clarke piped up. Lexa just looked at her exasperatedly. 

“Clarke, please…” she started talking again but Clarke raised her hand. 

“Lexa, please, sit.”

“I really should go.” she retorted. And Clarke had it.

“Oh my god, is it so hard for you to be in the same room with me again. Like, it wasn’t enough for you to hide for the past two days, but now you just can’t wait to bolt.” Lexa scrunched up her nose at that. 

“That’s not…” she tried to explain.

“I get it Lexa, I really do, as you know now, I am indeed familiar with one night stand concept, and you really don’t have to hide from me anymore. We are good.” Clarke raised both of her palms towards Lexa.

“I wasn’t hiding.” Lexa said finally. 

“Yeah, ok, whatever, I’m over this…I just can’t wreck my brain anymore, what you think, how you feel, what you want from me and all of that. I’m done.”  
Lexa looked at Clarke for a long second and just nodded. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” is all she said. She walked past Clarke, and Clarke could smell the whiff of Lexa’s scent that was already embedded in her mind. Lexa opened the door, and before she went out she tilted her head slightly.

“You got it all wrong.” she almost whispered. Clarke closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head slightly and by the time she turned around to say something, ask her what she got wrong, the other woman was already gone. She just took a deep breath, looking at the glass that was still on the floor.

 

Clarke strode down the base, heading towards Hangar 8 where they had some kind of briefing, secretly hoping she would see Lexa again and maybe steal some time afterwards to speak to her. As she quietly walked, she felt arms around her waist hoisting her up in the air and she squealed from surprise, not knowing who got her and why. She shimmied her way out of the grip and turned around just to see two now laughing idiots.

“JASPER!!!” she shouted, her anger quickly subsiding, and big smile taking its place on her face. “Monty, what the hell are you doing here???” she slapped Jasper over his shoulder while Monty still laughed. 

“Oh man, I should have recorded that squeal.” Jasper said.

“Fuck you assholes.” Clarke reprimanded them, but she was still smiling. “Seriously, what are you doing here??”

She knew that they were on a first plane home after their testing, and she knew that they haven’t passed, just like Wells.

“Surprise, surprise.” Monty chanted. “We are back.”

“How?? What…How??” Clarke didn’t know what was going on.

“Well, we are back, but we are not going to fly.” Jasper said.

“Well, jets. We are not going to fly jets.” Monty added.

“And what the fuck are you going to fly?” Clarke asked. Jasper and Monty just looked at each other with sly grins. 

“Drones.” they said in unison. 

“What?? Really?” Clarke asked, her smile growing bigger.

“Yeah…after we failed out tests, Captain Duke informed us that there is a possibility for us to transfer to piloting Drones and UAF’s. Finally out nerdines payed of. “ Monty said proudly.

“Oh my god guys, I’m so happy for you. Does Harper know?” 

“No, and you won’t tell her shit until I do. Got it?” Monty pointed with a finger towards Clarke and she just nodded. 

“We are going to do some administrative nightmare now, but we saw you and had to say hi.” Jasper hugged Clarke. 

“Tonight, we are celebrating with some cheap beer.” Monty informed them.

“It’s Wednesday, how are we going to find some beer on the base?” Clarke asked innocently. 

“Oh, sweet child of mine….” Jasper left his arm over her shoulders. “You are on the base were 90% of its population are men. Do you really think that we can’t find some booze to celebrate??” 

“I guess you are right…” Clarke shook her head. “Boys, I gotta go, but we will catch up tonight, ok?”

“You’re damn right.” Jasper shouted.

“Ok, see ya then.” she started walking towards the hangar again. “I’m so happy you are here.” she shouted once more. And she really was. She loved those guys. Yes, Jasper often didn’t know where to stop with his bad flirting, and he almost didn’t know what is socially acceptable or not, but she adored him. He was a pure soul, just like Monty was. And Harper... Someone is getting laid. 

 

She entered the hangar and she could see her friends sitting on the tables, talking to each other, waiting for their instructors to come. Octavia spotted Clarke first and she immediately got up.

“What happened?” Octavia asked with her face pale, and Clarke already started to nervously sweat. How the fuck she knows about Lexa and Finn?

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked, playing it dumb.

“With Major Kapor, how did it go??” Octavia asked again.

“Oh that…” Clarke let out breathy chuckle. “It went well. I’m good to go.” 

“Yaas queen, that’s what I’m talking about.” Raven shouted and high fived her.

“I knew you weren’t crazy.” Harper piped up and Clarke rolled her eyes. As they talked about what happened that morning, Captains Duke and Forrest walked into the hangar, carrying stacks of papers with them. They all jumped down from their desks and saluted them. 

“All right people, we have some reading material for you.” Anya dropped her stack on the desk and rested her hands on her hips.

“Everyone, come and take your copy. These are the rules of flight. Here, we do it bitt differently. Here you will find everything you need to know before you go up there. Your maximum speed, flight area parameters, some protocol things, and trust me. You need to know this shit. I will not give you clearance to even sit into the jet, let alone fly one if you don’t know this like a song. “ 

Everybody stood and took their copy, sitting back on their spot. Clarke tried to sift through it quickly, just to see how much they had to know, and it wasn’t easy. There were almost 50 pages, front and back, filled with information’s, and they had to know all of this by Monday.

“This Friday, you will have test. Obviously, questions will come from these bad boys.” Anya held one copy of it in the air. 

Well, scratch that. They didn’t have a weekend to learn this. They had barely one full day to cram this into their heads. She looked around and saw everybody flipping pages, scratching their heads or chins. Finn sat in the back, looking at his copy of information book. He didn’t look suspicious, but then again, Lexa wasn’t here. 

“Look up people.” Captain Duke called with his strong voice and Clarke snapped her head back up. They had several maps with various reliefs on them.

“Pay attention, this will help you learn all that stuff.” 

And Clarke did, she really tried to pay attention to all of the altitude barriers, and aerial borders she needed to know in order to fly one of those jets that sat in front of the hangar. She was here because of that, and yet, all she could think about was Lexa, and where the fuck is she now. And what did she meant when she said Clarke got it all wrong. She snapped back to reality when Raven waived her hand in front of her face.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

“Um…yeah…just…I spaced out.” she got up and took the papers from the desk. 

“No shit…” Raven muttered still eyeing Clarke suspiciously. 

“All right girls. Buckle up. Tonight, our room, we have some fucking studying to do. “ Octavia announced, and Clarke wanted to tell Harper about Monty and Jasper, but she said she wouldn’t. Raven could see that something is going on with Clarke, and she pulled her with her towards another direction from everybody. 

“We’ll be there in a minute.” Raven shouted over her shoulder. Clarke followed her wordlessly. When they were out, on the other side of the hangar, Raven stopped and looked at Clarke.

 

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Nothing, really. “

“Stop bullshitting me woman. Speak. “ Raven rolled her eyes.

Clarke sighted and rested her back on the wall behind her, squinting while looking at Raven in front of her.

“How do I do this?” she asked Raven.

“What…this?” Raven motioned to the papers in her hand. “This shit is nothing. We got it, don’t stress about it.”

“No, Raven…no…” Clarke rubbed her face with her left hand forcefully. “This thing with Lexa?”

“Why, did she say something? Did she tried to blackmail you into something?” Raven took a protective stance immediately. Clarke just shook her head.

“No, she….You can’t say anything to anyone Raven.” Clarke pointed towards the brunette with her finger. 

“I won’t…”

“I’m serious Raven, you really can’t say shit. This never happened, understood?” Clarke repeated. 

“I swear Clarke…” Raven tried to reassure the blonde.

“Swear on her.” Clarke piped out. Raven widened her eyes, slightly shaking her head.

“No way. No.” she said sternly. 

“Then, let’s go to the dorm.” Clarke pealed herself from the wall, turning around, ready to leave when Raven pulled her by the arm.

“Wait, wait….God fucking damn it…” Raven said exasperated. “I fucking hate you.” she said eyeing Clarke. 

“Swear. On. Her.” Clarke repeated with a meaningful pause between each word. Raven shut her eyes hard, not believing she was doing this. This was her baby, her everything. She lived for her. She dreamt about her.

“I…I swear on her.” Raven muttered finally. 

“No. You know the drill. Say it.” Clarke was making this impossible for Raven and she started to second guess everything. Did she really wanted to know what was going on with the blonde? Was it worth it?

“Fuck…” she breathed out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Clarke just watched her, biting insides of her mouth, trying not to laugh at her friend.

“All right, I can do this.” Raven took a deep breath. “I swear on my Chevrolet SS 454, I won’t tell anybody, anything.” she managed to say, and she winced at the end. It was out now, her words went into the universe, and she was sure, if she fucked up something, her beloved car would implode on its own.

“All right…” Clarke nodded, silently being proud of her friend and their friendship. She knew that this was something important to Raven. 

 

She told Raven what happened earlier that day, what Finn did and how Lexa reacted. She told her how she couldn’t quite understand why Costia asked her some of those question, implying passively that she knew about her and Lexa, and also she couldn’t get into her head why Lexa hid from her these past few days, and was all so willing to run away from her again. Raven listened nodding her head from time to time. When Clarke finished, Raven stood there silently, like she was thinking hard about what to say next. 

 

“All right…” Raven took a deep breath. “Can I be completely honest with you? You won’t get mad or think that I’m not a good friend?” Clarke shook her head. 

‘I won’t get mad. After all, you threw your baby under the buss for me.”

“Please, don’t remind me.” Raven closed her eyes. “So, here’s the deal. I think that you are projecting when it comes to Costia and her questions. I think that you know deep down that Lexa never lied to you about that, but you try to find something to hang over her head because you are not ready to let go of this control you think you have. Because if you do, she might end hurting you somehow, and you won’t let that happen. Ok?” Raven asked.

“Not ok…Absolutely not ok.” Clarke shook her head.

“Good.” Raven nodded not giving a second thought about Clarke’s opinion.” I don’t think that Lexa was hiding from you, and she tried to tell you that today, but you are stubborn ass bitch and you didn’t let her speak. This might come as a surprise for you, but she is a Captain, and I’m pretty sure she is not here on this base only to watch over our asses and she probably had something else to do, maybe even get off the base in order to do it. So, get over yourself.”

Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but Raven cut her immediately. 

“Her relationship with Costia, in my opinion is just a strong friendship. What you saw and heard between them is nothing more scandalous than conversations that O, you and I have on a regular basis. So drop it.” Clarke at this point just looked at Raven with her mouth open.  
“And lastly…Lexa is a fucking bad ass and I could kiss her just because she put Finn where he belongs, and she was gentle in my opinion. She should’ve rip his ass apart on the spot. And let’s be frank here, she did it because she was jealous.”

“No she didn’t.” Clarke spoke up.

“Yes she did Clarkeee…”Raven said like she couldn’t believe she had to say all of these things to her thick headed friend. “I bet my sweet ass, if she heard it from someone else, being said to someone else, she would just scoffed and mentally flip him off. But she heard Finn, saying those things to you, and she acted like a lucid, possessive girlfriend.” Raven threw her arms in the air exasperated. 

“Come on Clarke…I am in a same position as you, and I can say that Anya doesn’t care about me like that. And I’m ok with that, because, I don’t care about her that way too. It was a good fuck, and that was it. You spent whole night and day with Lexa, talked, laughed, made love for fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t you use that word Raven, don’t you fucking dare.” Clarke snapped at her friend. 

“Why? Because you are afraid there is more to it than just sweaty exchange of bodily fluids?” Raven snapped back. Clarke rubbed her face again, not knowing what to say to Raven. 

“Just don’t fight it, and give her a chance to explain. But I don’t really see what she has to explain, if I’m being honest. “Raven ended her tirade and Clarke felt like shit. She really, really wanted to hear entire different story from her friend, but she got smacked with this…truth? She didn’t know what to think anymore. She leaned her back and head against the wall again and exhaled loudly. 

 

‘I should’ve talked with Octavia.”

 

 

They spent the rest of the day, and good portion of the night in Clarke’s and Octavia’s room, trying to cram all of the information necessary to past the test and finally be given the green light to fly one of these bad boys. Harper found out about Monty and Jasper coming back on the base, and although she was ecstatic and beyond happy to have her boyfriend with her again, she set her priorities straight, and joined the girls for a study session. The rest of the guy’s from their group joined the revenants for a couple of beers, thinking that they got it already memorized. 

They parted their ways around 2a.m., Raven already half sleeping while walking back to her room, Harper helping her in the process. Octavia fell asleep with her book covering her torso, she was still in her uniform, but Clarke couldn’t make herself wake Octavia up. Girl needed some rest. And she needed it too. This day was emotionally filled with all sorts of things, and she started to feel her eyelids getting heavier by the second. She managed to change into her sleeping attire, and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She slept a dreamless sleep that night, her mind and body too tired to subconsciously explain some things to her.

 

 

 

Lexa sat in her office, big black bags under her eyes were a clear sign that she haven’t slept at all last night. How could she? She really hoped that all of that shit was behind her, she felt good for quite some time, never feeling the need to do something that would open a can of worms. But yesterday, she acted almost mechanically, and she was scared. She didn’t expect it, it just crept up on her, that feeling, that nagging feeling she managed to keep at bay for so long. One look at Clarke, and she was ready to tear up the earth or anyone really. And she couldn’t have that, not after all this time, after all the things she’s been through. She had her head between her hands, her arms propped up on her desk when she heard knocking on the door. 

“Come in.” she said, not really bothering raising her voice. Anya walked in, with a smile on her face, but as soon she saw Lexa, she halted.

“Good morn…Well…you look like shit.” Anya deadpanned and walked towards one of the chairs in front of Lexa’s desk, sitting on it not so graciously.

“Good morning to you too.” Lexa managed to squeeze in. 

“Did you sleep last night?” Anya rounded all the bullshit in one motion.

“Yes.” Lexa lied. 

“Ok.” Anya set up straighter, getting annoyed. “Let’s try again. This time, you don’t insult my intelligence. Did you sleep last night?”

“No.” Lexa relented. 

“What’s going on Lexa?” Anya haven’t seen this Lexa in a long, long time. She almost forgot about this Lexa, and she was happy about it, but now, her best friend looked like a person from a different life it seemed, and that scared her. A lot. Lexa didn’t respond, and that made Anya extra cautious. Thay sat in short silence, but Anya pushed again. 

“Lexa…talk to me.” she urged. Brunette just took a deep, loud breath, leaning back in her chair. She could see that Anya almost aged in these few minutes, just by looking at her.

“It happened again.” she said quietly. Anya searched her face for more information, but Lexa gave none.

“What…? What happened again?” Anya asked. “Did you sleep with your bed warmer again?”

“Don’t call her that.” Lexa said sternly. Anya nodded to herself, this was good. She wasn’t catatonic, she could still get angry, and that was good.

“Did she try to do something? Report you?” Anya prodded further.

“No, Anya…IT happened again.” Lexa repeated, emphasizing words and Anya widened her eyes. 

“When? How? Who?” Anya shot questions at rapid fire. 

“It doesn’t matter…” Lexa said defeated. 

“Talk to her.” Anya said sternly.

“It wasn’t on that scale. At all…” Lexa leaned on her desk again. “But, I know it…It happened.”

“Talk to her.” Anya repeated herself again. “I don’t care if it wasn’t on a same scale, it repeated itself, you saw sign of it, now you have to talk to her again.” Anya was stern. Or she tried to be, she couldn’t show her friend that she was panicking on the inside, her fears growing by each passing second. 

“I’m tired of it…” Lexa whispered, and Anya’s heart broke. 

“I know…” she whispered back, trying her hardest not to show any weakness in front of her friend. She needed to be strong and stern for Lexa. She had to act quickly, not letting it spread again. She needed to snip that shit in its roots. 

“Lexa…look at me.” she called for her friend, and Lexa did raised her gaze, looking Anya in the eyes. “You can do this.” She said with her jaw clenched. “You did it once, and it was lot worse. You will do it again. And I’ll be here with you, every step of the way.” 

Lexa tried to smile, but to no avail, her face looked contorted more than happy. 

“Now…tell me how it happened.” Anya leaned back in her chair, hoping that what she was about to hear won’t end Lexa’s career for good. 

 

 

“I think I’m gonna kill myself.” Octavia said, and all of the other girls just raised their heads up from their books.

“What?” Clarke asked, her nose scrunched up. 

“I can’t do this anymore, we’ve been learning this shit almost whole day now, and I’m done, I can’t take it anymore.” Octavia said while she closed her book loudly. “I’m fucking done.”

“Come on O…” Raven tried to calm the other girl down.

“ No, I really mean it. I am fucking done. Whatever stayed up here, stayed. And I really hope it will be more than enough to pass this motherfucking test.” Octavia almost shouted pointing to her head. 

The other girls just looked at each other, and Harper was the first who followed Octavia. She closed her book, throwing it as far away as she could.

“She is right. Fuck this. We know enough.” she said calmly. But two nerds in Clarke and Raven weren’t so sure.

“Maybe we can do like a quiz test or something…Just to see where we at?” Raven offered.

“No.” Octavia and Harper said in unison. 

“We are going to unwind a little. Let’s go to the game room and see if we can snatch the console from someone.” Octavia said, determination in her voice unwavering. 

“Clarke, Raven…I will burn those books if you don’t leave them.” 

“Fine…here.” Raven closed her too, leaving it behind as she stood up. “Come on Clarke…” she motioned to the blonde to do the same, and with a visible eye roll Clarke relented.

“Let’s go.” she said as she got up, motioning towards the door. 

 

 

As they entered the room, they immediately saw the rest of their class, already screaming at each other over some game they were playing. Monty saw them first, and he waived them to come and join them, his smile as big as it could get when he saw Harper. Finn was there to, and Clarke upon seeing him, decided to do something else, go for a swim or take a walk. 

“Raven…” she pulled the other girl to the side. “I’m gonna take some fresh air. You stay here.” 

“Is it because of Finn? Because, I will tell him to shut up every time he opens his dirty mouth. “ Raven offered.

“No…and yes. I just want to stretch a little.” Clarke shrugged.

“All right…see ya later then?” Raven squeezed Clarkes arm. 

“Yeah…” Clarke semi-smiled and went outside. 

 

 

 

It was a worm night, and it wasn’t that late, so base was still bustling with soldiers and officers, so Clarke took the safest route, and headed towards the benches where they sat the first day they came here. She walked slowly, light breeze hitting her face, and she enjoyed it. She looked at all of the jets that were perfectly lined up, waiting for the next flight, and Clarke felt the surge of adrenaline. Soon. Soon, she will be up there again, doing what she loves the most.

 

“Griffin.” she heard all of a sudden, a sturdy voice calling after her. She turned around and saw Captain Forrest approaching her slowly.

“Captain.” Clarke acknowledged other woman and stood straighter. 

“Can we talk for a second?” Anya asked her and Clarke was puzzled, for she didn’t know why would Captain Forrest want to speak with her. 

“Of course.” she answered. Anya just nodded.

“Come. Let’s sit.” she motioned with her head towards the nearby benches. They walked in silence until they reached the make shift benches, sitting next to each other. Anya was silent still, and Clarke didn’t dare ask her what this was about. 

“Are you exited?” Anya finally spoke. 

“About what?” 

“Flying finally.” she turned towards Clarke.

“Oh that…” Clarke smiled. “God yes…”

“You’ll do good tomorrow, don’t sweat it.” Anya waived with her hand. 

“Thank you.” Clarke said, not knowing what else to do. Silence enwrapped them once again, and Clarke started fidgeting nervously.

“Woods told me what happened.” Anya said, looking at the distance, into the dark desert.

“About what?” Clarke asked, still playing dumb, because she wasn’t quite sure what Anya meant by that.

“Collins.”

“Oh…that.” 

“Yeah…” Anya said turning over to Clarke again. “She told me what you said to her.”

“I was just trying to calm down the situation.” Clarke answered honestly. 

“Yeah…Listen.” Anya looked at Clarke, straight in the eyes. “Are you for real? Or are you playing some game?”

“I don’t understand.” Clarke said, her voice much more sturdier than her nerves. 

“Did you really do all of that just to help her, or you are going to show up three weeks from now with a story of raging Captain, hitting people around?” Anya deadpanned. Clarke opened her mouth, but Anya cut her.

“Cause, if you think you can extort something with this, plus, let’s not forget that I know that you two slept together…Think again. I’m not going to let you do that.”

“Did you say this to Raven too?” Clarke asked, her mouth being quicker than her brain. Anya just widened her eyes slightly. 

“You bitches do say everything to each other.” she chuckled, and that threw Clarke off the course. “No. I didn’t say this to Reyes. She knows what happened between us.”

“So why do you think I would do something like that?” Clarke asked and it came out little feistier than she wanted it to. Anya just eyed her, smirking in the process. 

“You like her.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and Clarke didn’t know how to answer. 

“I…I just don’t want her losing her job over some idiot.” Clarke tried to shrug it off, but she couldn’t control slight blush that appeared on her face. Anya just nodded knowingly, turning her gaze onto the desert again. 

“Thank you for handling it the way you did.” 

“No need to thank me…”

“Yes, there is.” Anya took a deep breath. “You have no idea…” 

“Can I ask you…” Clarke started, not being sure should she ask this or not. “Where is Captain Woods? I haven’t seen much of her this week, and since yesterday, she disappeared again.”

 

Anya looked at Clarke again, like she was trying to read something from her face, and after lengthy couple of seconds, she smiled. 

“She went back home, to the town. I told her to take a long weekend, just to relax a bit. Regroup. Next week, it’s gonna be balls to the walls, and I need her to be on her A game.” 

Clarke just nodded. So, she wouldn’t see her till the next week, and she really hoped she would. Anya stood up, stretching her back in the process. 

“All right Griffin. See you tomorrow.” she started descending from the bench slowly. 

“Good night Captain.” Clarke muttered.

“And Griffin…” Anya turned around. “This test you are doing tomorrow…its fairly early, and you are free after that until Monday…” she squinted her eyes a bit. 

“Yeah..”

“Take a long weekend. Do something fun…” she got on the ground, turning away from the Clarke. “Or someone.” she smirked and walked away, leaving flabbergasted Clarke behind her.  
Clarke couldn’t believe what she just heard, and was pretty sure Forrest was telling her to go and see Lexa.

 

And she just might do that.


	7. THE note

To anyone who is still with me here and this story!!!

Ok ,check this out. Remember when I told you way back that I’m going to upload soon? Well, guess what…My fucking computer broke and everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING that I had got whipped away. All my pictures, music, movies, books, games, and you guessed it…my story. So, some time passed since I got a new one. And then I had to start to retrace everything in my memory, just to rewrite some of it. And then…NEW JOB opportunity happened. That’s good. But, I’m every day, all day busy with learning new stuff for it and it’s going to be like that until the week after the next one.

I’m really, really sorry, to all of you who liked it and waited for new updates this long, I promise you, I’ll get something out soon. It might not be long as others have been, but it’s going to be something. I hope you will like it as much as you liked previous chapters.  
That’s it, that is all I wanted to say, and again I’m sorry.

p.s. wish me luck, cause I sleep 5 hours a day and I live on caffeine and smokes (I know, bad ,bad habit)


	8. Start your engines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, like I promised. 
> 
> I got the job!!! So thank you for your patience, I hope you’ll like.  
> I needed some fluff so I indulged myself a bit, I hope you don’t mind.   
> Enjoy, and please, tell me what you think.  
> You are some smart crowd, I can tell you that much 

As soon as Clarke and her friends found out they got all the clearance to fly the jets next week, they all, collectively started to plan the weekend that was upon them. The main theme for the weekend was off course – booze, and lots of it. Jasper and Monty still waited for their friends to celebrate with them, and they were adamant about one thing. Party starts tonight, and it will last up until early Sunday morning. They were at the Fallon relatively early, and they decided to take some food and head out over to the small river bank, to chill and unwind before real party started. Girls already had a spot in mind, and they sheared the idea with the others. Guys welcomed the idea of semi divvy bar at the outskirt of the small town, as it was perfect setup for the night ahead. But Clarke wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t even that pumped up for the upcoming night. She wanted to ditch her friends and try to find that place where she spent her last weekend. She couldn’t clearly remember the place, since most of her time there she was enwrapped into Lexa’s presence, she really wasn’t paying much attention to the part of the town let alone the street. But, she was adamant about one thing. She wanted to speak with Lexa, and she used this occasion to leave her friends and try to find this woman who really gave her massive headaches with everything she does. 

 

So, Clarke found herself clutching at her backpack, walking the street that she barely remembered. Last time she was on this street, her eyes looked somewhere else. At someone else. But she wanted to do this, and after a lengthy conversation that she had with Octavia, she finally managed to detach herself from the rest of the group that was already at the bar that Clarke and the rest of the girls visited last week. 

Houses looked the same to her, every single one was plane, white, with boring front yard. She was getting little anxious, because she wasn’t sure how will she recognize the house she was looking, but in the midst of her slight panic attack, the house on her right looked like something she remembered, like in a dream. She couldn’t be quite sure, but she mustered all the strength she had and went to the front door of the house, lingering with her hand in the air. She knocked.

It was fairly silent on the other side, so she knocked again. This time she heard hurried footsteps getting to the door, and she embraced herself for what was coming. Door opened and Clarke widened her eyes, her mouth staying shut, because…Well fuck my life, Clarke thought.

“Griffin…” slightly surprised voice greeted her. Clarke knew she had to say something, and she was trying her best not to just turn around and bolt. She nodded slightly.

“Major Kapor…”

“Wha…what are you doing here?” Costia asked still slightly surprised, but with her radiant smile on her face.

“I…I just…” Clarke stuttered and her mind was blank, she couldn’t think of one lie to say, anything, she was lost and hopeless. 

“Cos, I hope you’ll like them…” Lexa emerged from the farthest room carrying bouquet of flowers that grew in her back yard. She stopped and looked at the door, seeing Costia at the front door, and when Costia took a step back, Lexa’s mouth flew open. 

“Cla…Griffin.” Lexa tried to correct herself quickly enough. She approached the door, standing besides Costia, and what she saw on Clarke’s face crushed her. Clarke looked lost and devastated. But this was not the right time to explain everything so she muttered words, and she was surprised her voice didn’t waiver as much as she anticipated.  
“What are you doing here?”

By this time Clarke stopped felling anything. She was numb, she didn’t care anymore, she felt nothing and she was truly done with this. She also gave up on lying. 

“I came to invite you to the make shift party.” Clarke said with a flat voice, her face not even trying to hide her state, no emotions in it and that made Lexa’s stomach to turn. 

“Party?” Costia entered the conversation with a curious lilt in her voice.

“Yes. Green and Jones are back on the base, they are transferred to the drone piloting program, and we wanted to celebrate.” Clarke answered never taking her eyes from Lexa that looked like she was on the brink of surging forward, hugging her. But she knew Lexa is not going to do that. Costia is here. 

Costia. 

Clarke slowly shut her eyes, suddenly feeling fatigue, like her body was tired and she knew she had to go.

“Anyway, I’m sorry…for the intrusion.” Clarke motioned to the two women standing in front of her. “ If you decide to come, we are at the Kru’s.” she turned around to go, but Lexa called after her. 

“Clarke, wait.” 

But the blonde didn’t stop. She gave the flowers to Costia, and the other women nodded towards the blonde and went back into the house, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone. Lexa swiftly came to Clarke, taking her arm and slightly pulling, hoping that Clarke would finally stop and face her.

“Please…” she rounded Clarke trying to physically stand in her way. Clarke did stop, but she never looked at Lexa, she gazed over her shoulder, squinting at the setting Sun. Lexa saw that Clarke wasn’t going to patient with her and she took this opportunity to tell the blonde, as quickly as she can, as much as she can.

“This is not what it looks like, all right.” Lexa started, placing her right hand on Clarkes left forearm as gently as she could, but Clarke shrugged her, her face contorting in a split second when she felt brunettes touch.

“Don’t…” Clarke started, but Lexa cut her off quickly.

“I know how it looks, and I know what you are thinking, but know this…I never lied to you. Costia and I…”

“Just don’t.” Clarke held her hand up. “Stop. I’m begging you.”

“Clarke…” Lexa tilted her head, her eyes pleaded with the other girl.

“No, really Lexa…It’s fine. And I truly mean it.” Clarke said. She paused for a second, Lexa giving her all the time she needed, as long she stayed here, in front of her. 

“We don’t know each other.” Clarke looked at Lexa. “We really don’t…”

“Clarke…”

“Please, stop saying my name.” Clarke couldn’t tell her that her name coming from Lexa’s mouth sounded like something that was so pure but at the same time so dirty and inviting. “I’m going to be honest here, and just…hear me, and then move.”

“I’ll hear you out, but please, come inside.” Lexa almost pleaded.

“You know damn well that I’m not coming inside of that house.” Clarke said with a stern voice. Audacity that Lexa showed sometimes surprised Clarke to no end.

“Is it because of Costia?” Lexa asked motioning toward the house. “Clarke, trust me, she is…”

“Shut up, just shut the fuck up.” Clarke had it and she was slightly taken aback by her own fearlessness, cause at the end of the day, Lexa is still her superior officer, whether they were on the base or not.

“Like I said, we don’t know each other. At all. We got caught up in this thing…” she motioned between them. “And now…I don’t know what to do after all that mess that we created stupidly, and I like you. I just like you.”

Corner on Lexa’s mouth got up slightly at those words, but other than that she stood calmly in front of Clarke.

“And can you not look so smug about this?” Clarke asked getting little flustered at her own words. “I find myself thinking about you, are you ok, where are you and what you are doing, at times that I should be focusing on my life, my career. I threw myself into this, and at the end this, us, we don’t exist. We are just two grown up people that shared bed one night, and I need to get my head around that, because, that’s not what I want, but it just is.” Clarke stopped herself sensing that she is rambling. “Do you get me?” she asked Lexa.

“No.” Lexa deadpanned shrugging her shoulders slightly. To be honest, Lexa turned off her mind the second she heard Clarke liked her. 

“Jesus fuck…” Clarke covered her face with her hands exhaling loudly. “Ok, let’s go again. Lexa, I’m done with it. With this between us. Whatever it was. Ok?”

“No.” Lexa deadpanned again.

“Are you having a stroke?” Clarke asked semi seriously. “What do you mean by that…No.” 

“I mean no, I’m not getting where are you going with this. I’m not done with us. Hell, I haven’t even started properly.” Lexa waived with her hands. 

“You are right about one goddamn thing and that is that we don’t know each other. We don’t. But I know this.” Lexa stepped forward getting closer to Clarke. 

“I know how your skin feels against mine.” Lexa said almost whispering and Clarke stopped breathing.

“And after that notion, I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to make you let me feel it again.” Lexa stood so close to Clarke that blonde could feel her breath on her face.

“Wha…what?”

“You heard me.” Lexa almost growled and Clarke felt something pulling inside of her stomach. 

“Don’t talk to me about rushing into something that is undefined, because I was ready to kill Collins the other day. You think you are the only one racking her mind over this?” Lexa motioned between them mirroring Clarke from minutes ago.

“I don’t…”

“No, you don’t. You don’t think that I have same questions as you do? That I want to know more? That I’m interested in more?” Clarke was slightly taken aback, she didn’t expect this from Lexa. She was sure the other women is far from interested in anything more than that one night.

“You never showed me that you wanted more.” Clarke spat quickly.

“When???” Lexa spat back. “ I was in Washington DC this week and when I came I did what I did with that piece of shit.” 

Clarke didn’t know about that trip. She thought…she didn’t think, she was being a immature child all this past week and now she felt just how much.

“All I’m trying to say here and now is that…” Lexa started again but was cut off by the voice that came from the house.

“Lexa, I need to go, but I’ll get back soon. Do you need something?” Costia asked approaching them slowly, her signature smile on her face.

Clarke felt sick all over again.

“Um…no, I don’t need anything.” Lexa tried to brush her off, but Costia gently grabbed her hand and pulled her over to her. All Clarke could see now was their hands, almost intertwined, and she needed to go. Leave, now. Costia whispered something to Lexa, and Clarke might be able to hear what, but her ears were buzzing, and she just felt her legs moving, faster and faster. She was almost sure she heard Lexa calling after her and she raised her hand, it was almost like a weak waive, but she couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t speak. They will have this conversation some other day, but not now. Not after Costia called her like that. Not after that picture of their hands touching. Not after Costia’s mouth so close to Lexa’s face. 

 

Clarke entered the bar, feeling exhausted. She walked all the way here, trying to calm herself, never wanting to show her friends how much of a mess her mind was now. She waived to Gustus, he stood in his spot, behind the bar, smiling to her waiving back and then motioning over to the barley group of people that was too little too loud. Her friends were already slightly drunk, and she knew that she had some catching up to do, but at this moment, that didn’t sound like a bad idea. Raven saw her first and screamed from the top of her lungs, letting everybody in the bar and town, and maybe the whole state that Clarke has arrived. She sat next to Octavia, and her friend leaned in.

“How did it go?”

“Let’s just say…that I would rather jump out of a burning plane with a malfunctioning parachute into the water full of sharks then to do this again.” Clarke tried to explain as best as she could how she felt but even that graphic little comparison was nothing. She took somebody’s shot and downed it expertly. 

“Hey…You can ask first.” Bellamy smiled to her, motioning over to the small glass that was still in Clarke’s hands.

“So, are they coming?” Monty asked, looking at Clarke.

“Who?” 

“What do you mean, who?” Monty asked again and confusion on Clarkes face grew each second.

“Forrest and Woods. You know Clarke, you went out to call them…to come here and celebrate with us.” Octavia said pointedly looking at Clarke trying to make Clarke remember their story.

“Oh…that. Yeah…No. I don’t think they will come. Sorry guys…” she said looking at Jasper and Monty. Their faces fell, they were really hoping they will have an opportunity to drink Captain Forrest under the table. 

And at that moment, just like a clock, she could hear Anya’s voice behind her.

 

“God help us all if this is what our best pilots look like after couple of drinks.” she shouted, looking at the group, lingering just a bit longer on Ravens body. Clarke shut her eyes tightly, not knowing if she wanted to see Lexa standing behind her also or not. She turned around slowly, preparing herself for it, but she couldn’t be prepared for what she saw. Lexa was nowhere to be found, but what she saw behind Anya gave her a massive headache, because her brain imploded and couldn’t cope with this reality. Anya sat next to her, she felt it, she knew Octavia moved so Captain could sit in her place and she told herself she would worry about that fact latter. Now, she was looking at Costia and Gustus, kissing one another over the bar, and more importantly, where Costia’s hand were. The same hand that touched Lexa’s, that same hand was now intertwined with some other women’s hand. She saw Costia pulling Gustus by his beard and he laughed loudly enough so she could hear how much he enjoyed their company. The women she now understood, she knew. That was the same woman she fussed about their first week on the base, that same woman spoke with Lexa and Anya in the mass. She suddenly knew everything. And nothing. She felt Anya pulling her, to turn over and when she did, Anya sported a smirk but underneath it she could see that the blonde was pissed. Captain leaned closer, but their table was so loud all over again, Clarke was afraid she won’t hear Anya properly. But she heard her. Loud and clear.

 

“Get your head out of your ass.”

 

Clarke couldn’t know how, but she felt it, she felt it deep in her core, that this was a last warning. And last advice from Anya she will ever receive regarding Lexa.  
Her mind was swarming by now, it was like a sensory overload. Everything around her started to suffocate her, all the noise, and the smell, liquor mixed with a stale cigarette smoke, it was so hot and sticky, she felt heavy and grimy. Nothing made sense anymore. Her friends and Finn among them, Anya sitting next to her. Anya, that was her superior and instructor, Lexa’s best friend, Costia and that woman behind her, Costia that was this big hurdle she needed to jump over, and nothing was what she thought it would be. How all of a sudden, her life got turned and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. She knew by this point that she was having a mild panic attack, it wasn’t the first one and sure as hell isn’t going to be the last one. She had a system with these thing, she worked it out over the years, and she knew she needed to get her head in a different space and time, so she did just that. Taking couple of deep breaths, with her eyes closed she could feel that she wasn’t as hot as she was. Now it was almost cold, the sheets underneath her were soft, but cold. She didn’t feel sticky and dirty, she felt light and soft, like she was in a most beautiful place on earth. Smell of the booze was gone, suddenly her nostrils flared and she could clearly sense lavender and vanilla. Now, she wasn’t as cold as a second before, she feels a warmth spreading over her back, around her waist. She can feel a light breeze at the back of her head, but it is also warm, and between all of those things she could hear something. She didn’t know what it was, she couldn’t distinguish the words or the music, but whatever it was, she liked it. It calmed her down. Clarke turned around and she opened her eyes, and instead of low light of a loud bar she was hit with the green.   
Lexa.

 

She was lying in Lexa’s bed, Lexa’s arms wrapped around her, and that warmth was coming from the other girl. That smell was a divine mixture of Lexa’s scent and the garden that was in front of her bedroom. This breeze was in fact Lexa’s breath, she felt it while Lexa spoke to her about something. She found this new safe place, not even knowing how, it was too soon, surely it was too soon. But here she was, trying to run away from her nagging problem, and the first thing that calmed her down was Lexa’s presence, even if it was imaginary. 

She opened her eyes, and her senses started to pick up reality. She could hear loud conversations that her friends had, she could smell that poisonous emulsion in the air, she could feel that Anya sat next to her, but now, she wasn’t panicking. She had a stupid smile on her face, and she knew at that moment that if Lexa ever again wanted her skin against her own, she would allow it, she would beg for it, she would dream of it, she would crave it. And everything that came with it. She knew she liked the brunette, but she started to surpass that emotion or a feeling some time ago, and she knew where this train was headed, but she was on board.   
She was pulled out of her own head and thoughts by a gentle touch on her shoulder. She turned to her right and she saw Costia, smiling at her, but her eyes were filled with something Clarke couldn’t put a finger on. 

“Clarke, please meet Captain Luna Xenos. She is in a drone department, and when she heard that two new guys are coming, she really wanted to meet them.” Costia introduced the girl that sat next to her, this beautiful and smiley person with a wavy hair that already had a stretched-out hand. Clarke knew that the women was beautiful from afar, but now, up close, she was even more mesmerizing. She had an aura of calmness around her, and Clarke liked it.

“You must have had a crazy time at school with that last name.” Clarke smiled and tried to joke not really knowing how to shake this last ounce of uneasiness she felt.  
Luna laughed genuinely, shaking her head slightly. 

“You wouldn’t believe it.” she responded.

“Clarke Griffin, nice to meet you Captain.” Clarke shook the hand and smiled back.

“Ok Lieutenant, I see how it is…” Luna squinted her eyes.

“Oh please…just Clarke.” Clarke waived her hands.

“Than…it’s just Luna.” came the retort and Clarke nodded. Costia leaned in and kissed Luna on the cheek lovingly, placing her hand on Luna’s thigh, resting her head on her shoulder.

Clarke swiftly turned her head, muttering a quick “What the fuck…”

 

Clarke saw Anya getting up and walking away towards the door, fishing her phone out of her pocket. She wanted to know if Anya was calling Lexa, or if Lexa called her, or was Anya letting Lexa know that Clarke finally got her head out of her ass and saw that Costia truly had nothing going on with Lexa. She would have spiral down that path if Anya hasn’t sit again next to her. All of a sudden Anya’s right hand crept up dangerously close to Clarke’s leg and she tapped it once. Clarke turned over to Anya and then lowered her gaze, looking at a small piece of paper between Anya’s fingers. She took it and opened it, but it was so badly lit that she could hardly see what was on it. She lift it up a bit more, but still below the table so she wouldn’t get bombarded with questions from her friends. Now she could read it, and she was seriously in danger of splitting her face in half.

 

What I wanted to say is...  
I like you too.  
A lot. 

L.Woods

 

First thing that came to her mind was what a dork Lexa is by putting her name like that on this scrunched up paper. But the second and most important thing was that Lexa liked her. A lot.   
She re read it for the hundredth time when Anya leaned over again.

“Like I said….this is the long weekend. Do something.” she said over the noise and she looked at Clarke this time, straight in her eyes. Clarke knew what she was saying, what she wanted for her friend, but also she could see what was coming directly from Anya. Something in the lines of ~hurt her…try me bitch~. Clarke got both of those messages and she swiftly nodded before she got up abruptly, heads turning towards her.

“Griffin, where are you think you are going?” Jasper slurred. 

“I gotta go. See ya on Monday.” And with that she bolted out of the bar.

 

 

She exited the bar with a force that she almost broke the door, but she was unstoppable now. As soon as she went out, hot summer air hit her, and even though it was night, it was almost unbearable. But nothing was that important or that impressionable. She clutched her backpack, turning from left to right, looking at an empty road, just a couple of the cars on the parking in front of the bar. She knew how to reach Lexa’s house by foot, but even she wasn’t that crazy to go into the pitch-black patch wood that was between the bar and the rest of the city. She ran her hand through her hair exasperatedly, bouncing on the top of her feet, a nervous tick she had and she knew was old for.

“Do you need a ride?” she heard behind her and she stood still, not turning around. She knew that one of these days, this woman will be the death of her, but if she continues to act like this, that day will come much faster than she anticipated. She turned around seeing Lexa leaning on her car, with her arms crossed in front of her. Like that image alone was not enough, she took in her appearance. Her hair was let down and was over her left shoulder, leaving the right side to cool down a bit, clad in simple black t shirt and ripped jeans shorts, long tanned legs that went for miles with some black vans on her feet. 

“Fuck…” Clarke whispered under her breath. 

Lexa still had a serious face, she didn’t know how this was going to end, she gave the paper to Anya and hoped for the best. And now Clarke is just standing there, quiet, and she started to feel bad for ambushing Clarke like this. All of a sudden Lexa started to feel sick, because Clarke still just stood there, doing nothing else. She peeled herself from the car, her arms falling down, but her hands grabbed each other to fidget with something.

“Clarke…” she said, clicking that K at the end, and Clarke’s hand was in the air in an instant. 

“Don’t…say…my …. name…like…That.” she walked slowly towards Lexa until she stood in front of her at arm’s length. Lexa scrunched her nose and it took all Clarke had not to smile at that. 

“Like what?” Lexa asked and Clarke could feel that the other girls is as nervous as she was. That gave her some weird boost of confidence, knowing, feeling that her mortal ass had some kind of an impact on the goddess in front of her.

“Like it’s something else. Like it’s special…”

“You are special.” Lexa said almost whispering. Clarke was proud of herself. Proud she was still standing, because if she ever heard something that could sweep her of her feet literally, this was it. Lexa got game and she was smooth, Clarke felt it on her own skin, but this woman each time pulled her deeper and deeper into the red zone of L word that Clarke didn’t even wanted to think about. 

“Lexa…” she stepped closer, closing the distance between them, her mouth hovering over Lexa’s right ear and her exposed neck. 

“I want to wake up in your bed, covered with your sheets…I want to sense the smell of lavender and you…I want to wake up with your arms around me, while your voice lilts me into sleeping again.” Clarke voiced her wishes and she knew they were way to specific and she prepared to explain herself, but all she herd was a hitched breath from Lexa. 

“Ok…” Lexa muttered and stepped over to the car to open the door for Clarke and Clarke walked over to the car, looking at Lexa, never saying a word. 

 

Lexa walked in first, switching on the lights holding the door for Clarke to walk in. The blonde went in, passing Lexa, never looking at her. She went into the living room, seeing that Lexa must’ve read the book earlier. Her mug was next to an open book, cold coffee in it. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Lexa asked standing behind her, not knowing what else to do. Clarke smirked and turned around getting closer to the other girl. She could see that Lexa swallowed hard, her throat almost dancing, but she didn’t show it. As she stepped so close that their fronts touched she reached for Lexa’s hand, holding it in her own.

“I would like to feel your skin on my skin….I would like it…A lot.” she whispered last words into Lexa’s ear and she could feel Lexa huffing.

“That’s not funny Clarke.” Lexa said and Clarke laughed never letting go of her hand. 

“I think it’s adorable L. Woods.” Clarke continued to jokingly jab Lexa.

“Shut up…” Lexa whispered dipping her head down, now a small smirk on her lips. Clarke laughed again, squeezing Lexa’s hand, letting her know it was all for fun. 

“It’s cute…” Clarke whispered back. But when Lexa lifted her head up she saw something different in her eyes that were now almost black, green thinly surrounding blown up pupils. 

“I’m not cute…Clarke” Lexa said, knowing damn well what she was doing, and it worked. Clarkes face fell almost comically.

“That’s not fair…” Clarke said, their faces now just inches apart.

“I never said I was going to play fair.” Lexa looked at Clarkes lips and licked her own. At that Clarke was a goner. She crushed their lips against each other, moving Lexa’s hand that was still in hers on her hip and Lexa grabbed it and squeezed it like her life was depending on it. That move elicited a loud moan from Clarke that was lost somewhere inside that kiss and everything after that started to unravel quickly. They were in Lexa’s room, almost ripping the clothes from one another, lips and teeth crashing, pulling and pushing at the same time, but their bodies molded perfectly, no matter what they did. Clarke knew that her smart mouth is beyond lucky, because they were on Lexa’s skin now, feeling every inch of it, kissing everything they stumbled upon, tasting that sweet elixir that was Lexa’s skin mixed with sweat that Clarke knew had everything to do with. She took everything Lexa was willing to give her and she was grateful for each moan and growl, for each whimper she elicited from the brunette. In turn, Lexa’s once fidgeting hands now knew exactly what to do and where to go, what to touch, or grip, or scratch, what to caress and roam over. Lexa loved her name coming from Clarke’s lips, it was sensual and sexy and it drove Lexa crazy. Lexa loved a lot of things connected to Clarke, she almost loved… No, not yet. Too soon?! 

 

They laid next to each other on the sheets that were beyond ruffled and crinkled, once again in that seemingly awkward post sexual silence that enwrapped them. But truth to be told, they didn’t feel awkward. They felt giddy and happy, but they just laid there, Clarkes head on Lexa’s stomach, long fingers playing with her hair. She loved that feeling, like Lexa after everything still needed to touch her, stay connected to her. She was feeling a steady rhythm of Lexa’s breaths until she felt that Lexa’s body stilled. She waited for a second, but she could still feel Lexa’s body in semi rigid state.

“What is it?” she gently asked, never turning around. Silence after her question started to scare her and when she decided to turn around and look Lexa in the eyes, soft voice came through. 

“I want to know more…” Lexa almost whispered and Clarke understood what was Lexa talking about.

“I want to know more too.” she retorted with a smile on her face, and as if Lexa could sense it on Clarke’s face, she smiled too. Her breathing continued normally and Clarke lightly squeezed her hip.

Clarke was dozing off, at the brink of falling asleep when she heard her name being called.

“Clarke…” Lexa called for her tentatively. Clarke had to give all that she got to pry herself from dreaming land, she felt spent in all of the best ways and Lexa’s fingers did wonders with her hair. And her body, generally. 

“Yes…” 

“Would you go on a date with me tomorrow?” Lexa asked and that was all that it took to wake up Clarke. She slowly lifted her had from Lexa’s body, turning around just to be meet with insecure green eyes, and she didn’t understand why Lexa even thought about the possibility of Clarke turning her down. 

“You want to wine and dine me Woods? Isn’t it a bit too late….after all, I am in your bed naked?” Clarke joked cocking her head slightly with a smirk on her face. 

“I meant what I said Clarke…I want more.” Lexa said all too quickly, leaving Clarkes playfulness aside. When she saw the look in Clarke’s eyes she knew that blonde meant it too.   
“Plus…I don’t want it to look like I’m spending you without any sustainability. You have to eat, so I can have you again in my bed. Naked. “Lexa continued with a smirk and Clarke definitely forgot about sleep, dreams, rest, any of it. Lexa was close to her, also very much naked. So, she did something about it. She scooted over to Lexa, her lips ghosting over brunettes.

“Yes. I’d like to go on a date with you…” she whispered and Lexa smiled. “A lot.” Clarke finished and a groan followed coming from Lexa that flipped them over in a split second. Clarke now laughed knowing damn well she found something to irritate Lexa slightly and she loved it. 

“I revoke it. That message, it never happened. “ Lexa said with a stern voice, her face only inches from Clarkes. 

“So, you don’t like me.” Clarke feigned being hurt by Lexa’s words. 

“Oh, that stands. I like you, so much so it’s starting to scare me a bit…” Lexa said looking at Clarke’s eyes, removing lose strand of blonde hair from her face. 

“All right Smoods…” Clarke said with a rolling eyes. 

“Smoods?” Lexa scrunched her nose and Clarke jump to the opportunity to kiss the crease between her eyes.

“You are smooth Woods. Smoods.” Clarke said shrugging nonchalantly.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes smiling and shaking her head. She missed this, she knew it. She missed being carefree and at ease with someone, and she welcomed this feeling that crept up on her every time she was with Clarke. She leaned over and kissed Clarke, it was long but gentle kiss and Clarke kissed her back, with same gentleness.   
They fell asleep in each other’s arms, heat forgotten, they were content and happy, they were on a brink of abyss and oh so willing to jump in. None of them wanted to think about possible repercussions, at least not now. Now, all that matters was notion that they both wanted more.


	9. Quick note

Hello there people, long time no read, I know... I just wanted to say that life has been fucking crazy and I really couldn't find free time for myself, let alone to write something. But...

As of recently, I started to find some time holes in my day to day life, and I'm planing spending some of them writing the next chapters for this fic. I also hope that some of you are still here. 

That's it. Quick note like I said.

 

May we read again ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think, don't be shy :)


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